When dating, how long do YOU wait before you have sex?

[Anonymous]

This question is to everyone.. when you date how long do you usually wait before you have sex?

[BigDaddyTX]

There isn't a calendar that you should use to make this determination. The only reason to wait is find out what kind of person they are and if you want to be intimate with them. You want to find out more about them, do you have common interests, are they trustworthy, are they only after sex, etc...
If you are looking for just a hookup, it doesn't matter if you wait at all.
If you are looing to invest your time into cultivating a relationship with this person, you'll both know when you are ready to take that next step.

[roxygirlskier]

You said it the best. My thoughts exactly.

[thetundrawolf]

I will wait until after the honeymoon.

Sex before marriage destroys the foundation (If any exists at all) because there is no commitment.

"Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend" doesn't mean much.

If you want to be happy, you must work at life. There are no short cuts. Discipline and self control are two very important things, and I see many young people who don't know how to practice either one.

The true test of a man's love is if he is willing to wait until the honeymoon.

[Ballerinasinger3]

exactly! thank you! if a guy really a truly loves me, he will be able to keep it in his pants till we get married!

[PenguinTime]

The true test of a man's love is if he's able to put your needs ahead of his own. If he's just got a low sex drive, then waiting until marriage is gonna be amazingly easy for him, and your sex life afterwards will suffer horribly. I've seen friends do this only to get divorced over sexual incompatibility after a couple years. It's not the only answer.

[thetundrawolf]

PenguinTime, I halfheartedly agree with you, with a huge BUT. If the man loves the wife truly, and honestly... And the woman loves her man with all that she is... DO you not think that there will be communication? "Honey I... I'm a man. I have desires that are more like needs... You are not 'X' for me..." "Honey, I'm a woman... I need to be needed. I need to be desired. I need your touch. Don't you enjoy my body?" You are essentially saying that these talks never happened between these people. Why not? Or if they did happen, the man still refused the woman. The woman still refused her man. Are these symptoms of a truly loving, caring relationship? The answer is no. Though they dated and abstained from sex, there never was a foundation established. Maybe they were too busy having fun and NOT KNOWING EACH OTHER.

[Gemstone2411]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years.
We started having sex 4 months into the relationship, we were waiting when we can spend a whole day in private instead of just having a few hours together as it wouldn't be as special for the first time together. One day his parents announced they were going to Newcastle to visit family for the weekend.

Best weekend ever :) I lost my virginity to him and it hurt like a bitch but the way he soothed me helped a lot, it turned me on more.

[Asker]

This is toooo sweet!

[Gemstone2411]

Thank you :)

[Prettygurl12]

I'm not the demographic I think you intended your question for. I'm voting C because neither of the other two work for me. I'm waiting to have sex with my husband. I'm old school like that. I'm 99% sure the guy I'm with now is going to be my husband one day but until that day comes I'm not having sex with him.

[KBob93]

@Prettygurl12 It's not necessarily old school to wait. I'm waiting until marriage for coitus.

[Anonymous]

It's not always good to have sex when dating, sometimes you date a guy, but that guy is not the one, so better keep yourself and wait.

[thetundrawolf]

There is wisdom here.

[Asker]

Whhhich is why I said to those who do have sex.. Thanks

[Lorahtjah]

Whenever you both are ready is the best. I know I would never make it last for months. Maybe a couple weeks max.

[famousgirl88]

hold out as long as you feel is necessary. don't be pressured in to it because its granted you'd regret it. if he likes you he'd wait. so guys like it when women don't give it up so easy and they respect you for that. if you want this relationship long term I say hold out till your ready

[Amagi82]

There's a bunch of weird sexist thinking going on in this post. Hold out? Pressured? Give it up? You're treating sex like a commodity, subject to capitalistic supply and demand, and making it sound like men are always the ones who want sex. Women are just as sexual, if not more so than men. I, for one, have much more respect for a woman who gets out there and has a one night stand because she wants to get laid that night than someone who treats sex like the church in the middle ages. No decent guy is going to lose respect for you for having sex with him early in the relationship. That's ridiculous.

[GIGGITY]

@amagi82 well said, brother

[hanscuit]

After some months pass or even later after you get married. Im waiting until after I get married Im high demand for many people apparently I can't just give out the goods so easily that makes the stock value go down lol Still a virgin and loving!

[gisellita]

Its different for everyone. I personally like to waite at least 2 monts. But actually me and bf had sex the the second timr we hanged out lol...

[Amagi82]

Within about 2 weeks is normal. It's weird to wait over a month. If you like each other, get tested and have fun.

[missmin6767]

these bitches are LIARS!!!

[SweedyPie]

Well I'm not single lol, so I'm not dating, but I still chose B because if I was single and dating, I have to know this guy really well before I give myself to him.

[madhatters4]

depends but usually a month or so

[Blaaasiaaan]

My girl made me wait six months, It was worth :].

[redroses1996]

lol too funny!! <3

[Gurl26]

I will defo have a sex on first date. It's now or never!!

[Kris85]

Not very long at all

[Klaatu51]

i have NEVER date and i will NEVER NEVER NEVER do. LOL... seriously that's why i always say it's a ball and chain when you're in a relationship. imagine that your gf might want to have sex only after marriage. LOL

[Rcjh1987]

Don't worry about offending anyone. With the type of question you asked it was bound to make someone mad. Take it with a grain of salt.. As for my answer I picked C

[Aeroforce334]

As long as you guys are ready

[rjroy3]

Just read your updates. I have no idea who would get offended at this lol.

Anyways, no specific number. Just go with what feels right with regards to sex. I think it's silly when people are like "date 3, that means sex!". The number is just arbitrary for them

[Asker]

The only people that would get offended by my question and updates are SOFT as* people lol. Read my opinions, people that obviously don't fit this question got butt hurt by it. Okay yes , cute , nice that you're waiting for marriage but that's not what i'm asking about so don't try to I guess throw it in my face cause I really don't give a sh*t about what you do lol. and that's REAL. I respect it , but I don't care. At the end of the day we were raised completely different, and we believe in different things. And I'm not making a "calender" or trying to rush.. This was just a random poll question I thought of because I thought it was interesting.

[Anno_Domini]

@asker If you're referring to me, then you couldn't be more wrong. You're the one who's getting butt hurt. Sheesh. I'm not offended at all by anyone's choice.

[Anno_Domini]

If anything, the people who choose to wait are the ones being openly ridiculed and criticized.

[rjroy3]

@anno_domini I agree that people who wait till marriage definitely are the ones judged or criticized by the masses. But yea, I read your post and the comments. The asker directed her last comment towards the guy responding to your post, not you. Because of his celibacy comment.

[Asker]

How are you gonna tell me about myself? The fuck. I'm far from butt hurt. YOU people are the ones coming back to this question responding over and over trying to show out online.. Anno that's very sweet and nice that you and your fiance are waiting . I'm not trying to have an ongoing argument with you about this question lol. goodbye

[plain_table]

After a couple of months, for me...

[front2back]

Whenever she's ready and after several months, maybe a year.

[pooper89]

I'd actually make him wait at least a couple of months, maybe even go to six months. I have to know that he's not in it just for he physical -which to me is not the most important part of relationship

[ThreeIn]

Depends on her and her wishes and how I feel about her. But that's only when dating.
If we're not dating, I'll fuck her an hour after meeting her cause I'm a huge slut and I haven't had sex in 3 years.

[Youcannotbeserious]

If a woman doesn't put out on the 3rd date, I dump her. Leykis style baby! These days, if a woman didn't put out on the first date for me, she did it for someone else, GUARANTEED. That's just the way I look at it.

[rUinSAYAN]

depends on how long you want yourself to wait. guess 1 month is core for me

[croxy]

Personally I've never understood the people who want to wait for months, but if I really can see a future with that girl, I'd wait a little while if that's really what she wants.

[COCOCHANEL]

kate. no more rules.

[slsmith0]

Marriage...

[Anno_Domini]

Personally, I'm waiting until marriage and so is my fiancee. We will be each other's first.

[Sithis]

At your early thirties? Do you even have a fiance yet? I'd like to give you my opinion on the meaning of sex. It's not a taboo, it's the sharing of love and passion.

[Anno_Domini]

Yes, I do have a fiancee. We're both Catholic.

[Anno_Domini]

@Sithis

[Sithis]

A commendable way of life, but not very human.

[Anno_Domini]

I believe that humans have the capacity of rising above animalistic instincts and behaviors. I believe that sex is a sharing of love and passion, too. That's why I'm so selective of with whom I share that gift.

[Anno_Domini]

I try not to judge others. I'm just stating how I feel about it. I'm a live and let live kind of person, as long as people leave me alone.

[thetundrawolf]

You are going to have the foundation for a life long relationship. You are doing it right, and the way God says to do it. (For good reason!) I commend you and wish for the Lord to grant you the grace, mercy, and strength to endure the temptations. I also ask God to grant you insight into her heart, the deepest recesses, and stay soft and tender to her in mutual love, respect, and empathy. I wish you the best!

[PenguinTime]

Let's just hope it works out and you're able to keep it up at the same pace afterwards. A relationship founded on abstinence is most successful if it turns into outright celibacy.

[Asker]

Okay , let's not judge people by their choice of lifestyle. If he/she isn't waiting for marriage like you are , don't badger them about it. Respect their choice , their lifestyle has no affect on yours so stop worrying about it.

[Anno_Domini]

"A relationship founded on abstinence is most successful if it turns into outright celibacy." @PenguinTime Tell that to all the Catholic couples with 6-8 or more children! :)

[Anno_Domini]

"Okay , let's not judge people by their choice of lifestyle. If he/she isn't waiting for marriage like you are , don't badger them about it. Respect their choice , their lifestyle has no affect on yours so stop worrying about it. " Tell me where I badgered ANYONE. Please. I was called inhuman, yet I didn't lash out.

[Asker]

Its been nearly a week since you commented lol. let it go goodbye

[therebecca]

Depending if you are just casually dating then maybe 3-5 days. But if you two want to take this to the next level like relationship wise, meh maybe 4-6 months.

[Franitz]

Lol no guy would wait for a couple of months, no way

[Asker]

I don't know dude, 11 guys say otherwise .. or 60 guys if you include the guys that say its up to her

[Franitz]

I guess it's more like...''It's up to her (to a limit)''. No normal guy can wait that long. Especially if the girl is really attractive.

[thetundrawolf]

So far I've waited three years. And I'll wait another three if that's what it takes.

[Franitz]

Yes, because your religion brainwashed you into thinking that you would burn in hell if you had sex before marriage.

[thetundrawolf]

No... Because sex is a more powerful tool than you are willing to admit. It can bond two people together in ways that are magical, or it can utterly destroy friendships. Sex is no small, or light thing. We take it for granted and minimize it's effect on us. Some even go so far as to say they can separate their emotions from it. Not so.

[moon_child6]

my boyfriend and I waited 2 months, had sex then started dating.

[Flirtygirly400]

Personally, I think teenagers should put sex on hold because sex can leave to meiosis, with is the process of having a baby. Once the sperm touches the egg, there's no going back. You'll get in serious trouble and become a mother at like the age of 17 or something. So I say wait till your married. If you do want to have sex, don't have it through the vagina, have it through the anus because it's impossible to have a ba

[want2helpout84]

This advice should be for anyone not just teenagers. :-)

[pooper89]

lol meiosis, wow. Good job, u paid attention in biology

[Flirtygirly400]

Thanks! I actually have straight A's in my school! I am in first quarter and is #1! I'm going to try to keep it up! Thanks! ;)

[PenguinTime]

Birth control and condoms at the same time works quite well. That, or vasectomy or tubal litigation.

[Anonymous]

I'd say depends on your age...
I say after at least 12 kisses
At least after 3 dates
Then I'm up for itl

[Anonymous]

take your time and enjoy the ride, when it feels right than it will happen

[queenofsass]

Was there a pun intended when you said "enjoy the ride"?

[Anonymous]

i wait for marriage

[Anonymous]

I think its best to wait a few months, maybe 3-4 before having sex. I have had 1st date, 2nd date sex and it hasn't turned out well for me any of the times. When you have sex with a guy too soon they tend to value you as a sex object and once the flame goes out they move on to the next girl. Any guy that really wants you will stay and wait for you to be ready.

[Anonymous]

I knew my boyfriend a couple of years before we started going out so we didn't exactly wait long before we did it... actually just a few days after we finally started dating.

[Anonymous]

Like a year and a half

[Anonymous]

no need to rush it.