Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Why do girls only want sex in relationships with me, but don't casually hookup with me? Why are boyfriend material guys not seen as hookup material?
Anonymous
I'm told that im a good looking awesome guy by girls, when im in a relationship i get consistent and satisfying sex but when i am single girls for some reason dont want to hookup with me casually and dont be friends with benefits with me, they rather date me and make me wait for a relationship for sex, sometimes a single guy that is a quality man just want a fling and doesn't want to wait months to have sex! Why do you girls do this, why do you not reward a 'quality boyfriend material' guy with casual sex while lesser quality guys you casually have flings with? Why do you girls curse boyfriend material guys cursed like this by making us wait? So backwards! Should I act like a lesser quality guy? Please help me understand!
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What Girls & Guys Said
12 15Because women have a higher standards for random hookup/1 night stands than for relationships. They will have no string attached sex with a man if he is physically attractive (i. e. nice face and/or body) or rich.
They will however, lower their physical standards when they want a guy for relationship (i. e. sex, someone to talk their problems too, spend time with). If you want to be no string attached guy then get really good looking and/or rich.
Structure of dating game:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22916-the-structure-of-the-dating-game-unwrapped-for-young-men-to-understand
Women on tinder are perfect example of what it takes to meet requirement for casual hookups:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22977-girls-on-tinder-do-smash-a-lot
Notice physical features of what they find attractive:
"Muscular, well-endowed relaxed and (surprise!) a little beerbelly?"
This whole thing about girls caring about personality is only important if they want to lock you down as a husband or boyfriend.
I've not necessarily seen a difference between the two types overall. Most guys I know have been both at some point in their lives or with different people.
Maybe you seem really serious? Maybe you see meeting girls in ways that attract people looking for love?
Seeing mutual sex as a "reward" to you may be part of the issue. Trying to hit all the buttons like its a video game can come across as stilted, or, in your case, backfire if you're pushing the be buttons. Being playful and genuine, liking the other person as a human but not expecting anything from them or turning up the intensity factor seems to be a component of casual sex that goes well.
That should say pushing the boyfriend buttons, not be.
I don't think he so much views sex as the reward so much as not having to wait for it. Some guys get sick of waiting and would rather be single than put in all the effort. Most guys want easy sex but only some of the can get it. As a result some guys become sexually frustrated and insecure.
"porn style sex" occurs on these casual encounters and women seem to enjoy that but many don't feel comfortable doing that with a long term partner. There's the saying, it's pretty misogynistic but also holds some truth, "girls want to be treated like a princess and fucked like a slut". The thing is that is hard to form these two contradicting bonds with one partner. That's why we often see women giving it up for some guys who treat them like "sluts" and have crazy sex in no time, but take a while to put out with a serious partner. it's like the saying "alpha fucks, beta bucks". I know that this isn't the best view I'm giving on my own gender, but as a future sexologist/scientist I need to be objective, and it's a harsh truth." Quoting from Many girls fucking a small clique of men on tinder MyTake by a female poster.
I saw that MyTake too and I'm very skeptical. Anonymous user, a self administered survey. Yeah, right. It's written by a troll. There were a few key details that really confirmed it for me. Half the shit online is ridiculous, written to push people's buttons. From my experience and what I've seen from others, couples that actually dig each other have the most frequent and most experimental sex. "Porn style sex" on a ONS is such a ridiculous tv trope. I think dating is a drag, too. You spend so much time and emotional energy with people you don't necessarily enjoy being around. I'd say to stop putting extra effort into girls if you don't enjoy their company. Yeah, the chances of getting laid are lower, but if you dont enjoy being around the person, jerking off is basically the same thing. Don't buy into the concept that its manliest to have a bunch of lackluster sex at any cost.
I'm also of the belief that most casual sex happens between people who know each other. I've always been one of those people who floats between groups, but belongs to none. All social groups appear to have more promiscuous and more monogamous people. Better looking people tend to be sleeping with better looking people and less attractive with less attractive, but looks don't seem to determine if someone has casual sex or not on their own. Likewise, I'm not saying ONS never happen, but sleeping with people in or on the fringes of one's peer group seems to be the most common. Guys with all male peer groups or whose social skills are low may actually struggle more than guys who are ugly or broke. Which, in the context of GAG, would make sense to me. I also find human sexuality pretty interesting, so I've thought about stuff like this quite a bit.