Why do my parents own me?

[Anonymous]

Since I'm 4 years away from the magical age of 18, I have no rights. Legally, I can't have sex, drink alcohol, watch porn, drive or do anything that is reserved for adults. Most importantly, I can't vote and have a role in deciding my country's future. My family is planning to move in a much worse area and I have to follow them, again, legally. Like a slave. Even if I don't want to. Even if I have other plans. What I want, think or feel isn't important. I always get the same cliche answers saying "You'll understand when you become an adult" but can't say anything because they'll label me as an "angsty teenager". It's disgusting. I should be able to leave my "caretaker" and live maybe poorly, but freely if I want to. They aren't more than me. I can't even travel out of the country without their approval. How exactly am I free?

[Anonymous]

At 14, your brain is not fully developed. The frontal lobe is not fully connected until you're in your 20's and this means that you are not capable of making rational decisions all the time. Basically, you do not have the insight or ability to analyze choices and their consequences and effects on others yet. The brain for a teenager is also more susceptible to addiction, hence the drinking laws being at 21.

Your parents are there to guide you and help you become the happy and successful human being you were created to be. My parents were incredibly strict on me when I was a teenager. I contemplated running away many times. But now I am older and am able to see that I was wrong. My parents weren't perfect but they were trying to do what is best for me. And yours are too. Don't grow up too fast

[Anonymous]

I kind of understand how you feel. I mean, I also want to be independent, I want to make my own decisions, I want to be me and I want to be taken seriously. Living with parents sometimes takes away your freedom. It's very annoying when they think they know and understand you, but in fact they really don't. I guess you'll just have to wait until you're 18. Get your own place and make your own rules. It may seem far away, but in the mean time you can try to talk with your parents and make it clear to them that you also have something to say.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO!

[Ronnie20]

thanks for the mho. parents are not perfect but parents who provides and protect ones child is worth obeying. Trust in thei judgement. the reason for the restrictions to life is because u are very precious and worth the protecting

[Opinion Owner]

Ofcourse I know that parents do all those things because it's their responsibility to raise you the best way they can, but it would be nice if they would try to listen to you and how you think about things.

[Asker]

☺️☺️

[Anonymous]

You are not mentally, emotionally, or physically mature yet. Therefore, your parents, or as you referred to them "guardians", get to make decisions for you. It's something the majority of people have dealt with and it's something you're going to have to get over.

[Asker]

Fuck off 😊

[Red_Arrow]

Generally I respect most of the youth on here and feel they are here to learn. But learning means listening to those with experience who can give answers and guidance. The attitude "If you're over the magical 18, try not to answer" shows someone who does not listen to or respect those with the experience to share. And responses like "Die. Go away." just fuel the argument to keep little kids off here.

[Asker]

I say that to people who keep talking cliches. Most adults that answered were full of shit and the best answer came from a 16yo. TBH, I don't really mind if you don't like me for hating them.

[chrisbigman]

@Asker maybe they are trying to tell you something. Maybe you should listen instead of being an ungrateful little spoiled brat.

[Asker]

Fuck off 😊

[Skadouchebag]

I felt the same way-- but them my mind matured along with my body. read my mytake: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11024-trans-what-how-does-that-work

[Asker]

Do not. Do NOT tell me I'll understand later on.

[peachblossomluck]

I'm concerned because you are viewing yourself as a slave rather than a charge. Are you being exploited somehow?

[Asker]

No, I'm not being abused. You only care when we're abused, but they you go and give us zero freedom because we're incapable of doing anything at all. I only want respect and freedom. It's not like I obey the law anyway. If I went and turned myself in right now, I'd probably in jail for the next 4 years.

[peachblossomluck]

If you would be in jail and aren't then your parents are a protection not a burden. This world is a dangerous and shitty place. Be glad you have four more years to make sense of it all before having to take responsibility for any of it.

[Asker]

Uh... They don't protect me from jail. The sole reason is that I don't turn myself in. They have nothing to do with this

[peachblossomluck]

Why are you a criminal?

[Asker]

I did some shoplifting (about $100-$150) and sent underage porn to other minors

[peachblossomluck]

Stop now before you get caught.

[Asker]

I stopped shoplifting when I got caught with some magazines. It was my cousin who got me caught. Never going through that horror again. About the porn, I know it's dangerous but I find it kind of precious since I've had it for over a year and don't want to delete it. But I'll do anyway.

[peachblossomluck]

Destroying evidence is good.

[complicated_soul]

Because they care about you.

[Asker]

How exactly? If protection means slavery, I want to be free without being protected.

[complicated_soul]

How is that slavery? Be grateful that your parents care about you. Not all parents are like that. And take the time to bond with them.

[Asker]

Telling me to be grateful, giving me advice like I'm a baby. What did I even expect...

[complicated_soul]

Like your parents have said, "You'll understand when you become an adult."

[Indigirl]

not even gonna read this but obviously they made u

[nate18]

Your not free and never will be. Even when your an adult. You'll realize that the older you get.

[Asker]

It's about what you define as freedom. Don't assume I lack understanding, this is the worst you can do

[nate18]

Lol. I don't think you understand much about the real world yet. Have you ever had to pay a bill? Worry about rent or a mortgage payment? Have to give up going out in order to buy your groceries? Have you ever even had to pay your cell phone bill yet. Don't underestimate that your parents don't understand you, they were once your age also. I used to think the same way you do now. Now that I'm an adult I understand. Your owned by your parents because your not basically not able

[nate18]

To fend for your self. As much as you like to think you could, you probably couldn't with out having a really shitty life. And if you can't take care of yourself then it's up to your government to. And that costs a lot of money to keep you on welfare or unemployment. That's not fair to the rest of tax paying citizens just because you think your old enough to live on your own. You need your parents help whether you believe it or not, their there to teach you and guide you and protect you until your actually able to do it on your own. There's more layers of freedom than you rink there are. Maybe once your an adult you see that. Right now you think freedom is being able to stay up late amd drunk with your friends on the weekend, cut classes, smoke a joint, go where you please when you please. All those small trivial things. To me freedom has more to do with my rights as a citizen. The worst you can do is assume you understand life and all it's difficulties at such a young age.

[nate18]

By reading just some of your responses I can see your very naive. You clearly think you know everything so I'm not gonna a bother arguing back and forth with you, but being able to take care of yourself means knowing when to take honest real advice from people who have been where your at and knowing when they're right and your wrong and knowing what to do with that advice.

[Asker]

You don't get what I mean at all. I'm just looking ti get rid of cliche answers like yours. You are very, very wrong and that's all you need to know.

[FakeName123]

Because young people and teenagers aren't known for making smart decisions.

[Ronnie20]

that is evidence of their provision and protection for you. i mentor young people daily who are dont feel they are significant in this life because they never had that sort of protection from their mom or dad. they were left to become adults before maturity and so they self destruct.

[Asker]

Then they were problematic. Don't tell me I'm lucky. It's about how you define it and having 0 rights is not lucky for me. I do not need protection, I need autonomy. Every human being needs that.

[QuestionMan]

I know how you feel, I felt that way when I was younger. Try not to dwell on it too much, independence is over rated.

[Averageusername]

You can leave your family but it takes a lot of legal paper work in order to be considered an adult.

[ThatBritishLad]

You've got plenty of rights.

[Asker]

I lack freedom. I can't leave my "guardians" and have to obey them.

[chrisbigman]

Because kids your own age make mistakes, sometimes really bad mistakes. Your parents are there (or at least supposed) to keep you from making these mistakes so society doesn't have to pay for it.

[Asker]

I pay for my mistakes, not them. I'm not stupid like you think I am.

[chrisbigman]

Not if you get drunk and get behind the wheel and kill somebody or get picked up by the police. Taxpayers pay for your jail stay, which is bullshit.

[Asker]

If you think I'd do that, you need to pour some mercury in your ear immediately.

[bubbletrouble]

Your mother gave birth to you so she controls you

[Asker]

Do you realize how disgusting you sound? I didn't ask anyone to give birth to me.

[youssefalei]

i can tell you how are u free but You'll understand when you become an adult xD

[Anonymous]

What exactly fo you want? Define freedom

[Anonymous]

That's just the way it is when you're a kid.