Why do women push monogamy and exclusivity on a man but won't take sexual responsibility that comes with it?

[coachTanthony]

[dynamicyandere]

Obligatory sex and genuine burning desire are different.


If there’s no passion in the relationship, then there’s a chemistry problem, an incompatibility problem.


2 people with strong chemistry should have a passion between them and they shouldn’t have a sexless marriage.


Usually a sexless marriage is a symptom of unresolved issues or some sort of incompatibility.


Obligatory sex feels like a chore. Genuine burning desire is a sign of healthy mutual attraction and good chemistry.


I suppose the women you’re talking about are ones that want to have a loyal and committed partner, yet they aren’t paired with someone that they are very attracted to. They have settled for a suboptimal compatibility.

[coachTanthony]

I suppose the women you’re talking about are ones that want to have a loyal and committed partner, yet they aren’t paired with someone that they are very attracted to. They have settled for a suboptimal compatibility. Bingo. If they want their man to be monogamous but can't hold up their end then why make that deal or why the monogamy in the first place? I don't want you but nobody else can have you either lol

[mobiusforniner]

Meh, sex is overrated. Our culture places so much emphasis on sex, as if its some sort of trade or prize. Its not. Honestly, sex is not as majestic as cinema and media make it out to be. It smells. Its awkward when done with someone you dont know well. It can be clumsy. Its a lot of work if you want your partner to be happy.

Hell, many times im totally fine just spending time in my garage working on my old car. At least i dont have to stick my finger in the exhaust pipe to get it started.

[coachTanthony]

LOL.

[Anonymous]

There’s no doubt that men and women often have different sexual needs but why are the needs of the man more important? Why is it the woman’s responsibility to adapt to the man? Why shouldn’t he adapt to the woman? The real solution is simple. If you’re incompatible, move on. Stop clinging to relationships that don’t fulfill you. If people would do that, life would be a whole lot easier.

[coachTanthony]

Because Men's sex drives are usually higher. Men want more sex. It's called Testosterone. But I do agree with your last part. Divorce rate though would be around 80%.

[Opinion Owner]

Testosterone grants you special entitlement? That’s of course complete nonsense. Bottom line is people need to stop this antiquated notion that you have to stay with someone your entire life. Relationships are transactional. You enjoy them when they’re working for you and you get out when they no longer do. That’s more realistic than grousing about a situation that you voluntarily stay in out of some sense of duty but aren’t happy with. If people did that, we wouldn’t have questions like the one you asked.

[coachTanthony]

You are missing my point. it's not about men staying in a situation out of sense of duty. When a woman states I want you to be monogamous but then doesn't want to participate in that monogamy then that is an issue. Men can always leave but that doesn't get to the root cause of why women demand monogamy then don't participate when their man wants to give them said monogamy.

[Vegasrunner]

It's unfortunate life is hard for you, however typically it's men who adapt to a women's need so your question seems a bit naive. If it were compatible both sides would he getting what they want.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m not missing your point. Men and women often have differing sex drives. You arrogantly believe the woman should sacrifice to appease the man and not vice versa. Maybe the man should temper his expectations so his partner doesn’t feel degraded? Why is the woman the problem and not the man? It’s bullshit. . Realistically neither partner owes anything to the other. Don’t like your sex life? Push on.

[coachTanthony]

Yeah yeah I know just break up. Got it. Thanks for the comments!

[Opinion Owner]

It beats whining like a spoiled entitled bitch.

[coachTanthony]

You should know 🥃😉

[purplepoppy]

By sexual responsibility, I assume you mean dropping their panties so he can fulfil his needs. The answer is simple, they want his money, his company at events, a hug on the sofa etc. All until they can find a better-looking guy with a bigger dick who can rock their bed then it's bye-bye.

[coachTanthony]

ooooooooh straight up facts lol

[DizzyDesii]

I make it clear from that get go that sex is not happening until we are committed, love eachother AND are in love with eachother. And well that usually takes 6+ months. I also make it clear that I want us to both be ready. Sadly i can be crystal clear and things still don’t go as I’d hope. But i prefer guys who are waiting til marriage or are celibate waiting for the right one because they don’t expect so soon

[DizzyDesii]

Now if you’re talking about how much sex the guy gets AFTER we’ve started having sex, thats a bit different. He’d need to become my husband so that i feel free to fck him whenever without religious guilt holding me back. It takes a lot for me to feel satisfied during sex and i’ll likely watch porn after if we’re not having “enough” sex.

[Jamie05rhs]

What do you mean, things don't go as you hope? I hope you weren't referring to rape. You need to get a gun, sis. So if he tries anything, just blow his head off! (I'm not even joking.)

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs i dont need a gun to defend myself but thank you.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. No problem.

[Vegasrunner]

@dizzydesii No guy that has any value is going to wait six months for sex. How long did your current boyfriend wait?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Vegasrunner Shut the fuck up, dude. Leave her alone.

[DizzyDesii]

@Jamie05rhs yea he always has something to say. But to answer the question, Vegas, like I said, no one got sex under 6 months

[Vegasrunner]

@dizzydesii W I asked how long did your current boyfriend wait?

[DizzyDesii]

@Vegasrunner if i had a boyfriend CURRENTLY, i would have told you.

[Vegasrunner]

@dizzydesii Gotcha, so the 6 month strategy is designed to keep you single?

[DizzyDesii]

@Vegasrunner relationships can fail for nonsexual reasons. I’m not going to explain anything further to you. Have a good day

[Vegasrunner]

@dizzydesii I asked if that strategy was designed to keep you single.

[RobT312]

Good point, but i think it mostly works out. In all my dating history only one girlfriend didn't take responsibility when it came ti an equal relationship

[summiter]

It is a two way street and it takes both people in a relationship to make it work

[coachTanthony]

You would think lol

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Like someone already said, sex is overrated as whole. That said, both my wife and I are propronents for the legalization of polygamy for those that can afford it.

[SnowedIn]

Wheres the bedside table on her side of the bed?

[coachTanthony]

yes with 3 empty bottles of Nyquil and tissues lol

[melanieeeB]

What? No
If you don't wanna be in a monogamous relationship, then don't be in one.
And if you're lacking sex, have a conversation with your partner and if that is so damn important to you and isn't changing, leave, break up and go fuck around. It's that easy.

[Vegasrunner]

@melanieeeb Sounds like that's what he's saying. That's why there are so many single older woman out here.

[SaoirseS]

What "sexual responsibility" are you talking about?

[OfMiceandMen]

I've never been a fan of women who use sex as a bargaining chip to get there way in a relationship. I don't expect sex, but, if she uses sex to her advantage, then I tend to tell her don't play those games, and if she wants to be like that, she can do it with someone else.

[NathanDavis]

never been in a relationship where sex was seen as a duty

what a sad life to live would that be...

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s about control.

[Agape93]

"Sexual responsibility"? You do realize you are NOT entitled to sex, right? And if you think it's at all ok to push for or demand sex in order to keep a relationship or keep it monogamous, then you shouldn't be in a relationship at all.

We are people. Partners. Loved ones. We are not just someone to dump a load into. If you want that only, hire a hooker and leave the rest of us alone.

[PetiteMisSmooth546]

Somtimes the sex with the guy is boring

[coachTanthony]

Do you tell him or just leave him hanging?

[PetiteMisSmooth546]

Tell him, suggest things, try things

[BarryLiverstone]

Which woman pushes monogamy and doesn’t back it up?

[coachTanthony]

All the ones that control the amount of sex that is had.

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh a woman controls sex? Hmm like with a remote control.. if partners exist in an exclusive relationship then both people are responsible for meeting the needs

[coachTanthony]

Pffft that's not the real world

[BarryLiverstone]

To be clear. You are asking why does a woman refuse to have sex on demand. Right?

[loveslongnails]

Wild guess coach --- Women just don't understand men, in general? :-D

[coachTanthony]

It be like a man saying Hey I want you to not work stay home take care of the house, kids etc don't worry I will give you money and she says OMG that's exactly what I want. Then he gives her 20 bucks a week when she thought it would be 100. No difference here.

[loveslongnails]

LOL That's an odd analogy, Coach. I think it's more like not realizing the simplicity of the hormonal male mind and expecting it to be, or do, something that it's not.

[coachTanthony]

Not sure what that means. It’s all good …appreciate the comment s

[loveslongnails]

Basically -- women who demand monogamy, loyalty (even from porn), even from having female friends, as proof of love, do not understand that the vast majority of men are sexually greedy. They: A) want to have "sexual release" far more often than the woman does B) don't necessarily want to have full blown sex and please their partner to achieve that release C) often view being "sexually taken care of" as the female equivalent of him providing for her and the family Most women expect that once a man marries, his sexuality will pretty much conform to whatever hers happens to be. If she was gung-ho while dating and early in the marriage but her frequency and desires change shortly thereafter, the man is supposed to change with her.

[coachTanthony]

Most women expect that once a man marries, his sexuality will pretty much conform to whatever hers happens to be. You are saying they expect a man to suffer and be frustrated once they get married? That is more truth then thinking a man will simply lose interest if she does.

[loveslongnails]

Sort of coach - I'm saying women expect the idea of monogamy and loyalty and SELF_CONTROL to raise their man up over the lower forms of life and think with their brains and not their dicks! I suppose that can translate into " well, if I'm not giving you enough or in the mood very often, like I used to be, you just have to deal with it --- but no porn or fucking other women."

[coachTanthony]

I see your point believe me. Men see the potential of intimacy in the beginning that could last the rest of their lives then the rug pull happens lol

[loveslongnails]

For some men that's true. For other men, it suddenly hits them that " Am I supposed to have no other women sexually for the next 40 years?" Hmmm... well, yeah, that's what you're agreeing to most often. And the only guarantee is that whatever it is now, or recently was, it's going to change like everything else changes.

[coachTanthony]

Most men wouldn't care if they never have sex with anyone else for the next 40 years as long as the woman they are with are giving them sex for the next 40 years. So again I understand your point 100%

[loveslongnails]

Not sure I agree with your premise, coach. Stats tell us that the two most prevalent reasons that men cheat are ego and variety. In the book The Truth About Cheating, relationship therapist M. Gary Neuman suggests that in a survey of 200 cheating men, 48% said they’re emotionally dissatisfied! Can you believe it? And the second reason, variety -- is self explanatory. So even when the sex is constant, stats indicate that men will still get bored, their ego will feel trapped, and they'll just want something different physically. It's the emotional stat that throws me, but it almost sounds like a compensatory explanation that's sellable!

[coachTanthony]

I think most men who cheat are not doing it for variety they are doing it because they ain't getting it from home. Now does it happen sure.

[loveslongnails]

I realize that's what you're thinking, which is why I suggested checking out some studies and surveys. Not getting it at home is just one reason cited, but it's not as high on the list as you think according to the research.

[coachTanthony]

Yeah all my thinking is anecdotal for sure.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm not sure what you mean. Can you clarify?

[coachTanthony]

Women who only want their man to have sex with them (monogamy) but choose not to have the sex or decides once or twice a month is enough. That is it in a nutshell and this happens all the time.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ohhhhhhh. Gotcha!

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm really not sure.

[Jamie05rhs]

I mean, I get that sometimes they're not in the mood. But I know for a fact that a lot of times they ARE in the mood but they just don't want to have sex with him because they're being petty.

[Jamie05rhs]

(I'm sorry if I offended anyone.)

[Minahh]

"Sexual responsibility" 🥴🥴🥴

[coachTanthony]

Trust me I know

[OddBeMe]

You mean not resist sex even if they don’t feel like it? That sounds like rape.

I would, and do, study more ways to get her in the mood. Cleaning seems to be working so far.

[msc545]

Women lie, cheat, and steal, and feel they have a right to do all this.

[Anonymous]

Why do you constantly ask such misogynistic questions?

[Anonymous]

Women are more likely to want a monogamous relationship because they're more interested than men in establishing an emotional connection. Men, on the other hand, simply want sex, sex, and more sex, which, the theory goes, explains why dudes just aren't built for monogamy. It's not their responsibility. It's responsibly of guys to jerk off when they aren't available.