Sexual Relationships
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Girls, why do you think "is it me" if the man your with has erection issues?

After seeing yet ANOTHER post on this issue I snapped and have to post this... . you and your man are having sex. If he has issues with getting or maintaining an erection right away it becomes about you and I see posts "doesn't he think I am attractive?"... . If a guy is with you obviously your someone he wants to be with and is attracted to. Women have is easy. All you have to do is lay there and spread your legs and your a rockstar in bed. You can do it anytime you want as many times as you want. Your always ready. A guy has to get and maintain an erection. then we have to figure out how to please the woman. if that woman is relatively new then that can be worse then figuring out a rubix cube since women won't tell you what they like and all of you are different. so we have to try everything and hope one of our tricks work. so we have to do all that while trying to stay "in the mood". It is easier when your young and basically we are walking erections. but as you get older it get harder. but women want to make it about them which is so infuriating and there is no rational reason to do that. why not be sympathetic and listen to him... . Many women are so horrible when it comes to this matter. You women make the issue 100000000x worse when you make it about you and not about a serious issue. Men are driven by sex. We see pussy and we are going to get hard. Age does have a factor on this. But most of the posts I see are from the 18-24 demo. So the woman could be ugly and gross and we are still going to get an erection. it is a physical reaction. A guy not getting and erection is NEVER about the woman, always about the guy. But you women start in with "I must not be attractive enough" so you make it about you and make the guy feel 1000000000000000x worse then he already does. So stop being so selfish and maybe support him. Unless you don't give a shit about the guy. . Now... this is not ALL women so some of you calm down. I am sure there are some women that react approprately. Also, FYI, I never give MHO to anyone who posts Anonymous. Even if they deserve it. Your already anonymous on this board, it is ridiculous to post at anonymous.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • All we have to do is lie there... well if thats all we have to do why the fuck can't youkeep your dick hard? Because that isn't all we have to do. Most men enjoy a woman who actively engages in sex. The reason women take it so personally is because there are a lot of men who will have sex with women they don't particulalry like. It is often assumed that men get aroused very easily and arte easy to please... now if you're a woman and you can't even keep your man hard then you take it personally, of course you do. Imagine if you were trying yourbest foreplay and you couldn't even ge the girl wet? Are you telling me you wouldn't take that personally? Of course you would. A good lover will always take pleasure from giving their partner pleasure and if they can't do that it hurts emotionally.

    • If I was 16 or 20 maybe I would take it personally because I am not experienced. After 23-25 when I had a lot of experience... no. Especially not at my age now. I know what I do works. So if she can't get there that is her issue.. But there again, women have it by the balls.. what do you do in that case? grab the lube and your off to fucksville. Guys can't do that. When women get into the "it must be me.. bullshit" that just gets into the guys head and fucks things up even more. So if the woman had been understanding and worked with him, actually "BELIEVED" him.. then maybe you overcome the issue right there. Other then giving a blow job what is it exactly that women do? I guess if she gets on top then that is all her. But if a guy is on top there is nothing for her to do. I have never had a woman do anything and I rather it be that way. if she tried to move it would mess me up and it would not add anything positive to the experience.

    • Wow. I don't know what to say to that except I am so glad I never have to sleep with you! Just wow. Your lack of understanding of the human psyche is very clear, as is your total lack of imagination in ther bedroom.

  • Its happened to me, I never thought it was me. I'm aware that his testosterone level has fluctuated at times and his thyroid too. Going soft can be for many reasons. And I know if it happens to him its medically explained. I made no mention of it unless he does.. I understand and feel bad for him so support him any way I can.

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What Girls Said

(7)

  • Because if they can't get it up, or they can't finish or whatever- i think that it means im doing something bad. I'm trying my hardest to please them and they just aren't responding or getting anything from it and i feel bad because i want to pleasure them.

    • Well you need to understand that it has nothing to do with you. And by saying it and making it about you it just makes him feel worse. All guys have issues at some point. It might be that they are tired or distracted, or it might be medical. I take heavy narcotics for my back pain. It has caused issues in the past due to interactions with other medications. it wasn't a ongoing or huge issue but it would cause me to lose the erection quicly if we were changing positions or something... but I do worry about it as I get older...

  • Well I have never had that problem before, so I think it would have to be him, because I look in the mirror everyday and I'm very happy with what I see. I know the guy's job during is a lot harder than mine, but I also don't just "lay there" I am very vocal and tell a guy what I like so he doesn't waste time doing something I don't like.

  • I felt that it was me.. because my ex-husband told me it was. He always blamed me.

    • Well that is an insecure cocksucker that wouldn't take ownership of his issue. Someone in complete denial of someone that was just a complete douchbag. any guy that blames his woman is worse then any women that won't believe the guy when he tells her it is him and not her.

    • That is one of the reasons I am not with the cocksucker... he treated me like shit.

  • I agree with you when I'm with someone new I want to be on top and I have no problem telling him what I like that way we both end up satisfied

  • My boyfriend has low sex drive issues, it's not me at all. Sometimes I get sad and feel like it is but I would never push him to talk about it because it really is an embarrassing thing! It was a big enough deal for him to admit he had a problem in the first place. When we do have sex its always awesome and I make sure he knows that. I also have made sure to understand what turns him on so that it's hot for both of us. It's no one's fault if it doesn't happen. I care about him and would never be so selfish as to assume it's me, as long as he shows he cares in other ways, then it's fine by me. It's a relationship, not a hookup.

    • right. I have issues with low sex drive and low testosterone levels. so 1x a day is fine. but when I went out of town with my new gf a couple weeks after we met, then she wanted it 2x a day. first day was fine. but the 2nd day I just can't do that. So we did it once early. Then later I took care of her which I told her I would always do. I Love oral sex and would eat her out as much and as many times a day as she would let me. So when we were done i just told her "you know how crazy I am about you and you know you turn me on like crazy. I am completely satisfied an happy. I hope you will believe that and why don't we just cuddle and I will give you a back rub." I told her if we had to have intercourse a that point it was going to take forever. with my medications for my back issues I take percocet and morphine. those are downers to start with so it brings sex drive down. plus dulls the nerve endings and makes things take forever.

    • Sounds to me like you did the right thing... if she got upset over that, then that would be her issue. In fact you really did more than my bf does for me to ease her mind, in his case he also has anxiety so bringing the issue up is rough on him so I understand and never push. We do it when he's feeling it (because I ALWAYS am!) and that's that. That being said, yes, there are woman out there that can be selfish about lack of sex drive. You just have to find someone that appreciates you and is patient with you about it.

  • when we are having sex (not penetrative) and my boyfriend gets soft, its usually during dryhumping and I give him a blowjob to make him hard again; thats what I do.

  • Like you said... maybe because we realize the secret rage and disdain many guys feel for us, but will fuck us just because we're there and they are sex driven.

    • I have no idea what the hell your talking about... but that is most certainly NOT what I said...

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