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Why does he always go soft during sex?

Why does he always go soft during sex?
So my partner age 40, been with him since he was 36 is very healthy. He eats good, he is in shape, slim/muscular, does sport, doesn’t smoke and never did, don’t do drugs, only drinks small small weekends. I am pretty sure he doesn’t cheat or have porn addiction. His dick often goes soft during sex since the beginning, also when I give him blowjobs and he isn’t able to have a very hard erection for very long. He is always able to orgasm and finish, but it often goes soft and I don’t get why.

Before him I was with a guy also age 35/36, he had a bit of a stomach, not in very good shape, drank more, smoked and he always naturally had the hardest erections.

I don’t get how there can be such a big difference or why my current partner has these problems. Sometimes I don’t even enjoy it is often getting soft halfways and sometimes I don’t feel much because it is so soft and I always feel bad giving blowjobs because it never stays hard. It has been like that since the beginning. I don’t think it is a new problem, he said from the start he take a long time to cum and I was the first ever to make him orgasm from a BJ. I don’t think it is because he is nervous or something, he is very confident and has been with a lot of women before me and otherwise he is really the best in bed so caring and attentive and he can do magic with his tounge.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • that seens to be a job for an actual doctor... someone can appear very healthy and lead a very healthy live but still have some issues. i mean if it was always like that with him, i don't know but as men go towards their 40s, lack of testosterone can become a thing naturally.
    maybe get in touch with a specialist for testosterone therapy. that could fix the issue but seeing an urologist and a cardiologist would be highly adivsed. maybe even an oncologist, cause testicular and prostate cancer are a thing even for healthy people.

  • ED happens for a lot of reasons. Something you could do is the nocturnal penile tumescence test. This will tell if he gets sufficient "morning wood" during the night and indicates if the ED is physiological or psychological.

    He should see a doctor for a Viagra or Cialis prescription at least because he is "healthy enough for sex" but also consider ge may need to pleasure you in other ways sans penis. Google the book "She Comes First".

    • Thanks for the answer. I will try to check the book out and I hope he is willing to see the doctor. I don’t know what sufficient morning wood is and how often, but night time and morning sometimes when we lay together I can feel he is hard, he also gets hard when we kiss and he is excited but he always shortly after get soft somewhere along “the ride”.

    • I understand. I was the same way and finally went to the doctor at age 43.
      Part of my ED was psychosomatic because my wife and I were not getting along so well, but, also, I was not in good health and have cardiac issues. I can still get a mushy morning wood, but sometimes it's actually still good. However, while I am awake, I cannot pop a boner.

      This is the description of the book at the website of author, sexologist Ian Kerner:
      https://www.iankerner.com/books.php

    • If you want to want to talk about this privately, you can PM me.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 22

  • He is desensitized by Porn. He jerked off for so long to hardcore porn that now, even the best blowjob on the Planet won't make him "rise".

  • Does he take any medications or OTC drugs? Has he had a physical exam in the past year?

    • No meds or drugs and yes

    • But perhaps he need to go again

    • Yes, there are physical causes which can either be diagnosed or ruled out with an exam and some lab tests.

  • You might have outgrown him.

  • Sounds like he suffers from ED. Pills can help.

  • It's probably best he see his doctor to specifically check this problem rather than a standard check-up. There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

  • Does he get regular checkups at the doctor?

    • Yes he does, it doesn’t seem anything is wrong

    • If he is healthy, is he worried about pregnancy? And before you answer you use protection that can fail.

    • I don’t think so we have a child, and he is more interested in having more than I am. I have a copper IUD, i know it can fail but it is like 98-99% safe.

    • Show All

  • He needs to see a doctor. These issues probably won't get better on their own.

  • Sexual performance anxiety

    • Whoever gave me a thumbs down stop being ignorant and do some research. So stupid.

  • Low testosterone could be the reason, and a visit to the doctor would answer that question.

  • Best thing to do is have him consult a doctor. Could be erectile dysfunction, for which there are treatments.

  • Might have a blood flow issue. He should talk to his doctor about it. Maybe do kegels and take viagra or something similar.

  • Have him see a doctor. There could be a medical issue.

  • Sounds like early stages of ED.

    • Is it also possible when it has been like that for four years and I don’t know how it was before me and him got together

    • Not sure. He would need to see a urologist. But it can be stress or anxiety as well. Maybe some meditation and relaxation can help him.

  • he might be gay or masturbating too much

  • He could have underlying cardiac problems or he could feel a lot of stress to perform.

  • Yes ma'am I go soft all the time

    • Whyy:)

    • I don't know I just do I get very hard very fast but then slowly go soft during intercourse

    • Could be mental

  • He needs to get checked out. This could be multiple things

  • Some guys stress about their cock, they don’t think it’s big enough to satisfy any girl.
    Has he tried Viagra or Cialis?

    • Hasn’t tried anything. His penis is small-medium sized and small balls (i feel like i sound mean haha, but the size is perfect for me and I have told him many times how good he makes me feel and that i love his d) and he seems confident and sex is really good, that is really the only problem that it often goes soft. the only sign of insecurity he showed was in the beginning he was like is it okay i take a long time to orgasm and he didn’t wanted to let me give head for long because he was used to not being able to orgasm from it.

  • Maybe because he is stressed or he thinks about different stuff

  • Maybe it's his prostate, try pegging him.

  • Show More (2)

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