Why does my boyfriend choose to masturbate instead of having sex with me?

Is this a guy thing? We tease each other sexually all the time. He can have me anytime. Why doesn't he just go for it? He always likes for me to initiate it. I want to feel wanted sometimes too!
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • doesn't sound like he's an initiator. a lot of guys (me for a long time) are almost always in the mood or can be in the mood. I found a lot of times when I initiated that I was rebuffed. not meanly or anything it was just that a girlfriend wasn't in the mood. so that made me sort of not want to initiate.

    perhaps tell him that would like to or appreciate if he'd be the one to initiate sexual intimacy

    • Thanks! I've tried having this talk. I feel like the man in the relationship when it comes to sex. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm pressuring him or begging for sex. It's becoming a bit frustrating now and a big turn off. Not saying I want to end the relationship, but I'm feeling like I don't even want him touching me now even though I really do. I just feel like if he did do it, I'd feel like he's only doing it because I want to. I want him to want me as much as I want him!

    • well he may be doing it because you asked and wanted... but he wouldn't do it if he didn't want to either right? I understand your frustration. we want to "feel" wanted. even if we know we are wanted we want to FEEL it

  • If this guy is anything like I was in my first couple relationships, he probably feels it isn't his place to initiate. If you think about it, everyone is looking in on how a guy initiates anything sexually, while a woman can basically do no wrong in that regard, because nobody sees women's sexuality as creepy.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Lazy, plain lazy! He can't be bothered to fuck you so he imagines it and wanks.

  • try to talk to him about it!! tell him that you would like to have sex with him

    • thanks for MH

    • You're welcome!!

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 13
  • Tell him that you want him to initiate sex. He may be hesitant because he is afraid of being rejected. Most problems can be solved by adequately communicating with your partner.

  • No lol that's not a guy thing

    I think that's pretty disrespectful... must make you feel like unwanted

  • We are not that complex. I would fuck you. Masturbate thinking of you later. If you want do both. Don't worry about it, your over thinking. If anything, ask him what he is thinking about when he does. Don't over think his answer, maybe assist him.

    • I've tried that. He tells me that I have a high sex drive and need to learn how to control it. Meanwhile, you're constantly masturbating. What is that to tell your girlfriend anyway? He says he's trying to teach me how to control it. I feel like its just an excuse!!

  • Yes it's a guy thing. May be he is a good guy, because he is not trying to take advantage of your leniency. I think he loves u so much that he don't want to make u feel uncomfortable... that's the reason he will cooperate with you after u initiate something... Or simply - may be he is not ready for it or he thought u r not ready for it...

  • A lot of guys don't get all that much enjoyment out of sex.

    • Because they have spent years wanking the excitement out of it. Ruining it for yourselves!

  • That is not a "guy thing" That is unusual.

    • I agree completely. What man wouldn't want to be dominate in the bedroom?

    • Your line of thinking is absolutely correct

  • same reason you choose to take a bath instead of a shower.

    comparing masturbating to sex is apples to oranges. i've also heard psyche's say people will masturbate more when they are in a relationship.

    on the flip side, i can recall a relationship i had when i was 19-20. together for a year, and she would smother me w/ attention n sex. i used to lay in my bed, daydreaming about the time she'll finally go home so i can jack off.

  • He doesn't know you want it

  • maybe he is shy and afraid you would say no if he initiates it

  • He is chronic..

  • Yeah as other guys have said sometimes it's just for a quick release and not having to deal with someone at the time to get off

  • Impossible to please women. Christ.

    • No, its not impossible. y'all are the complicated ones. If he tells me that I need to learn to control my need for sex, but every time I turn around, he's masturbating. Why masturbate when we are equally sexually attracted to each other? I can help you get off with no problem.

  • Do you ever masturbate when sex is possible, simply to get off without having to deal with all the other stuff... to fantasize, to do it the way you like, quickly and efficiently?

    Sometimes jerking off is quicker and easier than trying to get your partner going and warmed up and off... sometimes you simply just want to cum with no other bullshit.