Why does my boyfriend want me to cum first before we have actual sex?

My boyfriend says he’s “pretty adamant about making me cum first before we start gettin down”. He wants to give me oral and make me cum before intercourse. Does he just find the idea hot, or is there actually a reason behind this? Why does he want this so badly? (I’m sorry is this is a naive question, but I truly want to know what it means)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's likely for a couple reasons.

    1) I'm sure he finds it incredibly erotic. I'm the same way, and there's nothing sexier than making your girl orgasm.

    2) He probably wants you to have more than one. Why settle for a single orgasm, when you can make your partner have multiple, and from different actions (oral, penetration)?

    3) It's possible that he's not super confident about his ability to control himself. He may be worried that once you're actually having sex, he may not last long enough for you to climax. This way, at least he's ensuring that you've had at least one.

    4) Sometimes, it's easier for a woman to orgasm a second time, after she's already had one. Since some women have difficulty reaching orgasm through penetration, alone, it's possible that he thinks the first one will make it easier for you.

    There may be other reasons, since I don't know his exact motivations, but those are the big ones, that come to mind.

    • I think it may be from reasons 1 and 4 that you stated. I mean I’m certainly not complaining because it makes me feel so special, but I’ve always wondered that. I’ve never been treated the way he treats me

    • Those are very good reasons, and it certainly sounds like you benefit. ☺️

  • Well i believe there is a factor of him feeling like he needs to make you cum, that that is his duty as q man, so he makes sure that you cum before he starts trusting. This can also mean he is not cofident about his "skill" and has to make you cum with his hands and/or tongue, so he can fuck you in peace and not obsess himself anymore over if he managed to satiafy you. There is also a chance he is doing it because he like the feeling of a pussy that just came, or might be the worst option, he might have seen it done in pornos and now he is replicating that

    • At least then he's watched the right kind of porn!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Be thankful first of all... Part of it is probably that he does indeed find it hot to eat you to orgasm before intercourse, and he is also showing you that your orgasms matter to him as a lot of guys get too sensitive to continue having sex after orgasm so he's making sure you orgasm no mater what.

  • Many guys love giving their Woman Oral to Orgasm first it's Foreplay for them. Also, some realise many women don't Climax by Penetration alone but if she has a Clitoral Orgasm a Pentration Orgasm is more likely. Lay back and Enjoy, it sounds like he is being an Attentive Lover...

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 20
  • Great boyfriend!!

    He really likes you

    • I think so too 😅

    • Awesome!!!

  • He's smart and wants to be a good lover. Most women don't orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex by itself.

    • He certainly is a good lover. He always makes sure I cum at least once before he does. That’s what he told me anyways, and that’s absolutely what happens

  • He's making sure that by the time he cums, you've already done so at least once. If he doesn't last long enough for you to cum from his dick one time, at least you came before. Also he really wants to pleasure you right.
    I don't even pull my pants down before making a woman cum at least 2 or 3 times first.

  • He wants you to cum because if he cums first it’s usually over then your going to be horny and unsatisfied and that’s not good a lot of women don’t cum from a cock so eating you out usually does the trick and eating oussy is great I love it nothing like the taste and smell of good pussy and to see her cum and lick her sweet cum up makes a guy so dam horns that when you go in her it won’t take long and you Weill cum hard and fill her pussy so full of cum it’s awsome

    • Dude, check the date on posts! This is over a year old!

  • So it's out of the way and he is not thinking about it non stop while fucking you.
    He probably has anxiety àbout it and that can cause ED problems for him.. but if you have already cum then that takes all the stress away

  • Ladies first. He's being a gentleman

  • Probably so when you have sex he doesn't need to worry about finishing before you

  • I can understand , his feelings once he comes it can take time for him to even get hard. So it's nicer for the girls to satisfied or half way through having her orgasms them the guy finishes off...

  • He probably thinks you won't cum during sex and wants to relax afterwards, but cares enough about you he wants you to cum.

  • What a f****** rip, to only get a clitoral orgasm, he is a total b**** where, get on top of him and ride till you climax

    • What? I’m confused sorry lol

    • Having a internal climax is far more connecting then external one

    • That makes me very ashamed of being a male, he is being a hardcore chump

    • Show All
  • Safety precaution in case he cums in 2 minutes I'm guessing 🤷‍♂️

  • He is scared he won't last long enough during actual sex to make you cum. At least this way if he cums quickly you've been satisfied first. Its actually great. A lot of men wouldn't be this considerate.

  • The reason I do it is to get the girl good and wet so my big cock will have an easy entrance

  • No clue. Just ask him why.

  • He wants to make sure you are satisfied before he is, not a bad thing.

  • Good enjoy sex

  • He sounds selfish. He should not make you cum if you don't want to. Nect time try telling him sternky you want to just have sex, and it ends as soon as he cums.

    • LMAO.

  • He is not selfish like most guys.. however making it compulsory may not be feasible always when u may not be in the mood

  • To make sure you dont go without or he is in a position where your orgasm is now work for him.

    I do the same thing.

  • I guess so you can have multiple orgasm during intercourse or if cums to fast during you’ve already cum anyway

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