Why does society slut-shame on women but not on men? Are you against slut-shaming or do you think both men and women should be slut-shamed?

[Anonymous]

Before you f*cktards get offended, i want to say that especially conservative people IN MY EXPERIENCE are hypocritical when it comes to sexuality. So it is an anectodal statement. I mean you are either slut shame on both men or women or noone. I personally see no reason to slutshame anybody. I also think if you are promiscuous man, go find someone like you.

[TonyBologna25]

Because a woman’s sexuality is much different than a mans basing it from a biological standpoint. These standards are in place due to an innate biological reason. It’s not just a social construct.

Women biologically are the more selective sex and it’s been like this from the start of time. The average woman has a lot more options than the average man. The average woman can get laid by simply spreading her legs. The average man has to work her up with charisma and humor and connection. So nobody admires someone that does something that takes absolutely no effort, talent, or skill.

Men biologically spread their seed to as many women as possible. This is a result of men producing 7x more testosterone than women. Being sexually promiscuous and aggressive is considered masculine for this reason. The more masculine a woman is, the more unattractive she becomes. Just as the more feminine a man is, the more unattractive he becomes.

This is also the reason as to why innocence and purity is a feminine trait. It’s seen as attractive for women, and extremely unattractive for men.

Women and men have sex for different reasons from a general stand point. Physically it feels good, but women tend to have sex with someone they emotionally connect to. Biologically it’s unnatural for women to have sex for purely physical reasons with mass quantities of men. Women in general desire stability and emotional connect when selecting sex partners. The more the deviate from that, the more Testosterone they have, so that means they are more masculine, and therefore the more unattractive they become from a biological standpoint.

Women who are heavily promiscuous statically cheat in marriage much more. interestingly enough, men who were heavily promiscuous don’t have much of a higher chance of infidelity, Men want to have babies with a woman who will keep their offspring safe and stable. A huge slut doesn’t give us men that assurance.

Hope this might open your eyes. Not trying to dig or piss you off, but I think this rhetoric of women and men are the same is bullshit lol. There are just far too many biological differences that change our societal roles. We shouldn’t just choose ignorance because we’re afraid to be called sexist.

Men and women are different and there’s nothing wrong with that. Women have advantages over men in certain ways as well. Not a matter of overall superiority or inferiority, but just a matter of recognizing that our biology shapes Our societal views and roles.

[Oram52]

This is BS. Promiscuity used to be common when people lived in tribes. Libido is same in both men and women. Its only when civilizations developed men refused to raise kids they weren't sure were theirs. Hence monogamy which was reinforced by religions. There were many cultures around the world where it was normal, including in America among Native Americans. Monotheistic religions put an end to it by imposing their morality. There is no research to prove women only want emotional sex. Otherwise look around, look at Scandinavian countries where women don't face slut-shaming. Once women could prevent pregnancy, religious morals lost their influence, women became financially independent women enjoy sex as much as men. Its culture not biology that determines this.

[TonyBologna25]

Libido occurs with healthy levels of estradiol as well. However, women seek sex for different reasons than men. Testosterone dominant individuals seek out to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Estrogen dominant individuals seek out sex for primarily an emotional connect and bond. Women who exhibit aggressive promiscuous behavior deviate away from the norm due to their higher than normal levels of free and total testosterone. The more you deviate away from your biological norm or role, the more unattractive you become. You can say it’s bullshit, but facts are facts and you blindly stating that our society is based on a social construct rather than acknowledging there’s a biological correlation doesn’t solidify your point. Women are emotionally stimulated a lot more than men in a lot of different facets, and if you don’t believe me, you don’t need to. Facts state that when men have higher counts of E2 and estradiol, they become more emotional. Women produce a lot more of this, and are therefore more emotionally stimulated by day to day life. It’s common knowledge in the world of biology. It’s deemed factual and has been for many years.

[Oram52]

You provided no facts at all. Science says no such thing, and sexologists have been studying this for few decades now. Just because estrogen amplifies emotions doesn't mean its precursor to women enjoying sex, as in an emotional bond must be formed before they enjoy sex. Just looking around should negate that. Also its oxytocin that creates that bond. There are many examples that should negate emotional bond for sex. If it was biological that women need emotional bond to enjoy sex then women would automatically refrain from doing so. Good example of this is Iceland, if it was biological women wouldn't be at forefront of enjoying sex. They themselves would restrict sexual restrictions demand emotional bond first yet that is not the case, women themselves pursue men for sex in Iceland. New York men outnumber women 2 to 1. If your theory was true then it would've made sense women make sure their is emotional bond first, when it also suits them to do so when men are in shorter demand. Yet in a city full of financially independent women it is not so, one of the easiest cities to hook up. Texas sex education consists of "abstinence" which has resulted in higher teenage pregnancies than national average. If emotional bond was biological then teenage girls would seek that emotional bond, yet high teenage pregnancy rates say otherwise. I've also mentioned above monogamy is recent phenomenon, sex between multiple people was normal. Its easy to see between cultures/countries that aren't influenced by religion. Conservative regions where sex is seen as negative only there barriers to women enjoying sex exist. Even in Conservative states of America among millennials its become norm. Researchers have brain scans now, they have scans of actual regions of the brain, they've even managed to scan female orgasms. No such theory is supported among science. Attitudes to sex are dependent on sociosexual orientation not gender.

[TonyBologna25]

I’m at work, and I’m not about to try to find links that provide well known recognized facts. If you want to deny that our endocrine and neurological system, and reproductive roles as a whole have no impact on our sexual behavior and values, then its up to you. I wrote a whole take on this a while back that included studies and sources, and if I find that, I’ll link it.

[TonyBologna25]

And the brain scans. You’re wrong. Neurologist have discovered differences between the male brain and female for a very long time now. My girlfriend has a masters in psychology and learned this her sophomore year of undergrad. Just because you say it’s not true, doesn’t mean it isn’t.

[Oram52]

I've also studied them and you are absolutely correct brain scans do show differences, and so does hormones. We're talking specifically women not being able to enjoy sex purely physically. As in you're theory women need emotional bond to enjoy sex, which has no basis in science, and like I provided few examples above observationally its not true either.

[TonyBologna25]

They can. But women who target this dynamic typically have higher counts of free and total testosterone. Women who have average counts of free and total testosterone and healthy amounts of E2/Estrodial typically use sex an emotional bond. This is a huge factor as to why women are the more selective sex and why it’s easier for women to find a casual sexual partner. Who pays for sex? Men. Pussy is commodity due to biology. Honestly, how many female prostitutes are there in comparison to male. What about strippers? It’s against the norm to have a women who just spreads her legs like nothing.

[TonyBologna25]

Brain scans show that men utilize the logical side of their brain and women tend to use the emotional side of their brain more. This directly correlates to what we’re talking about. Don’t believe me? Why has the most logically driven subjects such as mathematics and engineering predominantly men throughout all of history?

[Oram52]

There are more strippers because are more visual, both women and men are visual but arousal is stronger in men. That's why women read romance, and also prioritize other things like confidence and charm, while men look at short dress and heels. There are more prostitutes simply why would women need to? They can simply go on Tinder. I once read a fat feminist who was cheating on her husband bragging about how her fat ass had sex with 35 men without leaving home. If slut shaming wasn't normal, and society was sex positive then it would be even easier for men to have sex, decreasing the need for prostitutes.

[TonyBologna25]

You’re validating my point then. Women don’t need prostitues for the fact that they are biologically the more selective sex, thus why it strays from the norm when women are sexually promiscuous. It’s a masculine trait because it’s associated with high counts of free and totally testosterone.

[Oram52]

Scientists have debunked left brain right brain theory, there isn't consensus on it yet. While women are more emotional due to estrogen it doesn't translate into libido, as in only feeling horny when there is emotional bond. Otherwise there are plenty of wives emotionally unhappy with their husband still having sex. You're confusing amplified emotions with emotional bond. Otherwise women wouldn't be able to form friendships either without forming emotional bond.

[Oram52]

"You’re validating my point then. Women don’t need prostitues for the fact that they are biologically the more selective sex," I'm confused how did you reach such conclusions from all my points above, I just mentioned fat feminist and 35 men. Iceland, NY, Texas and teenage pregnancies. If your argument about sexual liberation being masculine was true again women would be selective in that case, but they are not. Nightclubs and bars are full of horny women.

[TonyBologna25]

Debunked by who? My neighbor is a neurologist and we have drinks at our amenities every so often. This would be news to him. Is it debunked in the same way there are 42 different genders? Women are attracted to emotional stimuli much more so than men. This has to do with their hormones and brains and other parts of their biology. This is why sex driven by an emotional connection is more attractive to most women.

[TonyBologna25]

I reached that conclusion because it’s common sense that there is a massive correlation between biology and our roles in society.

[TonyBologna25]

We are not just androgynous human beings at birth with no biological characteristics that simply shaped by society alone.

[Oram52]

What neurologist friend would that be, at least ask him for some neurological evidence then, and at least let us see? " biology and our roles in society." It depends which ones. But it has no correlation with women needing EMOTIONAL BOND to enjoy sex. Just because women need both physical and emotional stimuli to be "attracted" it has no correlation with physical act of sex. Also research shows opposite for casual sex women put even higher emphasize on physical looks than men. If women didn't care about looks any guy would've had a shot with hot girls. Yet research proves opposite, women are attracted to money, status and appearance. You still haven't shown any correlation between emotions and women actually needing emotional bond beforehand before having sex. Otherwise casual sex wouldn't be normal. There has to be correlation between A -----> B. Giving example of Iceland again if your theory was correct then Iceland wouldn't be so sexually open.

[TonyBologna25]

Women are attracted to emotional stimuli much more so than men. This is because women thrive on this. Ever notice the girl that says she hates her ex, yet fucks him time and time again? It’s because that guy creates a huge emotional impact on her whether it’s good or bad. So you’re recognizing that women are emotionally driven on a biological level, but reject the idea of women seeking an emotional connection in regards to intimacy and sex?

[TonyBologna25]

Research shows that women are attracted to status and money because those things offer financial and emotional security. Again, their attraction is based on those emotions because they are again attracted to emotional stimuli much more so than men.

[Oram52]

"no biological characteristics that simply shaped by society alone." We are in complete agreement between hormones influencing us. For one we are physically different, I don't have breasts. The point here is there are NO hormones, no biological imperative, no biological necessity for women to need emotions to enjoy sex. Research proves no search thing, we have brain scans, and other research in endocrinology, neuroscience, psychology etc. Its not to say men and women aren't different, not to say our hormones don't influence. It is in regards to your specific theory that somehow casual sex is masculine and women need emotional bond to have sex. It has no basis in science and I've provided many examples which negate this. Another example is Matriarchal societies, where casual sex is norm.

[Oram52]

"reject the idea of women seeking an emotional connection in regards to intimacy and sex? " Both men and women seek emotional connection hence concept of love. I am not rejecting I am saying science negates it, casual sex is all around that negates it. You have provided absolutely no evidence and no observational examples either. I've provided Iceland, New York, I've mentioned before monogamy it was norm, it was norm in many cultures around the world before monotheistic religions, matriarchal cultures etc etc. Yes but I also mentioned research shows for casual sex women out even higher emphasize on looks than men. Money and status is for LTR. Even then if you negate money and status women put same emphacize on appearance, hence why couples match appearance wise.

[TonyBologna25]

You’re kind of just coming up with this conclusive ideology that all the valid points I’m making are under this umbrella of “it’s simply not true”. The facts that I’m stating are exactly that... facts. If you want to debate with me that the earth is flat, I’m not going to go find you a bunch of studies that validate my point. I don’t want to spend the time or effort educating you on something that a freshman community college student would acquire in their first year of bio. If you honestly believe that our biology doesn’t impact our sexuality from male to female, then you can believe that. You’re more than entitled to. This isn’t a jab at you, but the reason I like to debate is because I like to learn more about the opposing side and it expands my knowledge and adds perspective. This isn’t accomplishing anything for me. It’s frustrating me that you’ll deny all common sense and knowledge in an attempt to validate your point. I don’t want to participate in this anymore. You’re more than entitled to your beliefs, but I suggest you do some research without any confirmation bias and just get the facts written by groups of medical professionals that neurologist, endocrinologist, and doctors recognize as factual. Do this rather than reading articles produced by extreme progressives that have a clear inclination towards bias.

[Asker]

But i still think we should not just blindly follow our instincs of whatever. Biology is not a reason to be sexist. Nobody should be slut-shamed

[Asker]

The thing it is easier to go to prostitutes to become promiscuous but become innocent or virgin again is impossible. I hate non virgin men wanting virgin women.

[TonyBologna25]

We are adaptive of course, and should make rational decisions. I don’t think recognizing the differences of between a man and woman’s sexuality and why we as a society view the two differently is sexist though. I’m not out here shaming promiscuous women. I just understand why it’s looked down upon.

[Asker]

Also biologically women are hypergamous and hairy but many men dont like hairy women or hypergamous women. So biology is not the answere for everything.

[Asker]

I personally think there is no reason to slut shame anybody because these promiscuous dont do anything to you. We should change the society. In germanic countries or where I live is slut shaming very rare

[TonyBologna25]

Shaming in society keeps things in order. For example, when I was a bodybuilder using steroids and looked like a monster in everyday attire, people made comments in an attempt to shame me. Mostly on Instagram. Anytime you deviate away from a social or biological norm, you will be shamed and that’s just how life is.

[TonyBologna25]

And women who have a lot of body hair have higher counts of testosterone as well. This is why it’s unattractive lol.

[Asker]

So it is ok to shame on hairy women even though it is not their fault and also I mean normal amount of body hair. Majority of women have hair on their body. It is not of your business. Racism was normal back then and shamim on black people was normal. Shaming things that does not hurt you in any way is useless. Also society shame on hypergamous women, so they shame on female nature. In the nature 80% of the male population is useless and women only go for most handsome, attravtive, tallest, or strongest man. So it is unfair when it comes to biology only women are shamed. In the media conservatives and traditional people are highly shamed and liberal ideas like being promiscuous is praised. So shaming is not good. Shaming is bullying which lead to many mental disorders. Let people live the way they want. Non of your business.

[TonyBologna25]

Shame from a societal standpoint exist and it keeps social norms and orders in line. It might be unfair, but it’s life. I believe a world without shame is far more destructive. Women have advantages in society just as men do. In regards to hypergamy, we currently live in a progressive society in which women are praised to divorce their husbands, take away the kids, and discard of them as if it’s nothing. It makes them “strong and independent.” Over half of marriages now end in divorce, and most of the divorces are initiated by women. And women, get a huge upper hand in court, especially with custody. So this is why I personally don’t promote hypergamous behavior as it’s become a huge issue in our society. If a woman breaks up an entire family and discards of her husband as if he’s disposable, there should be some shame associated with her behavior. Just as you preach, we are animals that are victim to some of our less than desirable biological predispositions, but we are developed and can still be held accountable to what’s right and wrong.

[TonyBologna25]

And it’s not only women who are shamed and demonized for particular things. Men are demonized for a lot of things as well.

[Asker]

"Shame from a societal standpoint exist and it keeps social norms and orders in line. It might be unfair, but it’s life. I believe a world without shame is far more destructive. Women have advantages in society just as men do. "I dont say we should not shame but there is no point in shaming promiscuous people "In regards to hypergamy, we currently live in a progressive society in which women are praised to divorce their husbands, take away the kids, and discard of them as if it’s nothing. It makes them “strong and independent.” Over half of marriages now end in divorce, and most of the divorces are initiated by women. And women, get a huge upper hand in court, especially with custody. " As you see societal norms are not always good. These kind of women hurt men by taking their kids or belongings. I am ok with shaming people who hurt someone like these women, rapists, etc. but shaming on promiscuous people is noones right "So this is why I personally don’t promote hypergamousj behavior as it’s become a huge issue in our society. If a woman breaks up an entire family and discards of her husband as if he’s disposable, there should be some shame associated with her behavior. " But by that logic people dont want to be women to be women. Female nature is hypergamous. So that is like hatin on women but I dont support that but I also dont support dopple standards regarding to promiscuous behaviour of men and women "Just as you preach, we are animals that are victim to some of our less than desirable biological predispositions, but we are developed and can still be held accountable to what’s right and wrong." Yes, that is why shaming on people who dont hurt you is wrong. And being promiscuous is not even that bad. Not everyone want to have a family and i also know polygamous married happy women. So what? Forcing monogamy is also not good because not all people is monogamy

[ArrRenn]

There is no good reason to shame another person. It only, and always, engenders anger.

Anger leads to hate. No good ever came from anger or hate.

It is my understanding that societies today overwhelmingly slut-shame women, as well as males who do not live up to society’s expectations of the male, because it is acceptable in a “man’s world”.

Which is to say, a “world run by bros”. “Bro’s” are adult males following the definition of manhood put together by adolescent alpha males—superjocks, for example—and winding up in a state of arrested development due to silent popular consent. The rich, powerful and influential “men” are hardly more than teenagers with adult authority.

Think about it.

[Vickymoore9]

I’ve gone through phases growing up where I slept with a lot of guys and it was known. I was never called a slut to my face I had one girl who commented to others about me. I confronted her and she apologized quickly to me it never bothers me she just needed to be called out. I think it’s normal for other to get jealous of people who are attractive enough to have sex more easily

[SydneySentinel]

I have mixed feelings about causal sex. It's not for me but if that's what someone else wants, that's their business. I especially cannot stand the double standard. It's wrong to shame anyone but especially when it's done for just one gender.

[Ceasar97]

I think that nobody should be slut-shamed or congratulated for being promiscuous. I look at it as you do you and I will do me. Why should I judge others for things that they do; having a lot of sex usually doesn't harm either party. I am far from promiscuous, but if I judge everybody that I am not, then there is something wrong with me and not them.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Calling everyone a dictator before they have even responded discourages an open and Frank discussion. Name calling send to be the first resort of many on the left.

2. I don't accept the premise that it should be called "slut shaming" as that term is heavily laden with leftist values.

3. If someone is promiscuous - make or female - I recognize their behavior as being promiscuous. I have the right to form judgments about the behavior of others, as we all do. I do not chase after someone to convey my opinion of them. That serves no purpose and I don't expect them to care about my opinion, BUT. . . if they ask my opinion, I will express it in unequivocal terms. And if some person asks my opinion about a slut and it is relevant to them, not just idle gossip, then I will express opinion.

4. I have no double standards on the subject of promiscuous behavior. If a guy banged six girls last month, that is just as slutty as a girl who banged six guys in a month.

[OlderAndWiser]

Autocorrect:. Dictator should be fucktard

[jgibsonian1986]

Young Men and women shouldn't be shamed period. Shaming literally makes them remember that shame forever and that sucks. It's definetly not good for you to sleep around for a meroid of reasons weather your a man or woman, but you don't shame someone for something like that.

[SarahsSummer]

I don’t think anyone should be shamed for what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom.

[i1T2daty]

I don't think anyone should be subjected to persecution for partaking what so obviously is pleasureable. I feel your anger, it pisses me off as well

[Mia-Wallace]

Never seen a conservative girl around me marry a very promiscuous man. If that's not applying the standards to both genders, I don't know what is.

[normalice]

Its the hoarder mentality, if the things being hoarded were assigned their own bill of rights and could walk away at any time.

[Miristheiss]

Are you part of society?
Shame all you want on slutty men.
If you do not want to be with a guy and end up as his 30th lover then by golly say so... say his sexual values gross you out and move on.
Shame away... no one is stopping you.

[eninning]

Love all your opinions you seem like a great person to be around not afraid to speak your mine, that's awesome

[Bandit74]

Probably because men and women aren't exactly the same and the dating power dynamics are different.

That being said you should be asking women this question because ultimately it's up to women if promiscuous men are shamed and for whatever reason women seem to be more accepting of promiscuous men than men are of promiscuous women. Not only that but women shame promiscuous women more often than men shame promiscuous men so from my perspective if you want it fixed women need to stop shaming promiscuous women and start shaming promiscuous men.

[Asker]

And what is your personal opinion?

[ScienceWoman]

I think having sex with lots of strangers is gross, bit I also dont really care what other people do as long as theyre honest.

[Phoenix98]

If I'm against it one way then I'm usually against it both ways meaning both men and women.

[AngelLily]

I don't believe in shaming but I definitely don't like it when both men and women sleep with everything

[NickiB1]

have you ever heard of the term fuck boy?

[Asker]

Fuck boy is not an insult. It is even sn compliment

[NickiB1]

just like being termed as a slut a fuck boy is someone deemed as not good enough to be in a serious relationship hence only good for sex. not sure what world you live in. I never be like ooh girl I'm gonna marry that fuck boy. More like girl don't waste your time with him. he's just a fuck boy

[Asker]

Fuckboys are even romanticized. Have you ever seen someone use the term "fuckboy" as an insult? People use the terms "whore, cunt, hoe, bitch etc" to degrade a woman

[Tomsta]

Kim. Fuck boy is used as an insult. Player can be used as both insult and praise

[Asker]

@Tomsta fuckboy is not the same as a slut or whatever

[Tomsta]

Depends on who it is aimed at. Someone such as myself would hate being called that and would put it in the same field as the word slut

[NickiB1]

this is my last reply to this. literally the definition of a fuck boy is as follows. A weak or contemptible man who has many casual sex partners. So if this is what you call a compliment that's tells me all I need to know about you. And yes it is used all the time at my school as an insult. literally they make fun of the guys we all consider male sluts and deem them fuck boys.

[igoforoldergirls]

Standards

[ChiTown33]

So let me get this straight. You ask a question. Then in the description you tell us how to answer it? You can tell this question was written by a woman lol. Why even ask the question at all?
If you're a slut or want to be one, just own it and don't give a damn what other people think. But sorry i'm going to hold my opinion regardless of what you rhink or like it 😁
Like or not gender comes with societal expectations. I don't like all the expectations society places on me as a man.

[Asker]

That is my personal opinion or answere, you fag

[ChiTown33]

Lol, classy

[ZeussLightningBolt]

I'm a moderate Conservative. Personally, I see these kinds of girls as an opportunity, but I certainly wouldn't fuck her without a condom, and I'd be scared to give her oral. But I'd have to know the girl a little first before I did it with her anyways.
No, I don't slut shame anyone, because I've known a few girls like this, and they were actually very nice. But just my luck the moment I met them, they got out of the habit of casual sex. The only thing I would say is I don't believe that these girls who have fucked multiple men without condoms have never had an STD. That's why I would wear a condom and avoid performing, receiving oral.

[genericname85]

cause that which is easy usually gets less praise. as a girl, getting sex is easy. as a man it's hard.

[Asker]

Then men should not be easy

[genericname85]

well if nobody ever tries to fuck, humans just will die out xD and us men take that obligation. it's not our fault, women don't :P

[Asker]

How about not shamin anybody? Haha it is not women's fault that they cam get sex way easier

[genericname85]

well if they would offer it more, men would try to get it less and if everyoe does it, you can't just shame everyone :P

[Asker]

Just shame nobody for havin sex

[genericname85]

I don't do that anyway. But if you don't give people a chance to shame, that's easier than trying to make them not shame you. Or you could not care, which is of course also a valid option.

[Asker]

Why should I chsmge my lifestyle so that they dont shame on me. They should change

[genericname85]

you can only change yourself, not others. that's why.

[genericname85]

so either you change yourself or you accept how others are. those are the only options.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Slut shaming is a way to control women sexual impulses so that some men don't feel so bad. Then they use as an excuse that they have no morals, that they don't want used goods, bla bla bla. A women 's sexual history doesn't define her dating value! It's just sex! Doesn't change anything about you. Zero. None. Everyone has the right to have as much consented sex as they want. As long as they are not cheating and taking proper precautions there is nothing wrong with it. The amount of sexual partners a women had has nothing to do with her being a loving, caring and faithful girlfriend or not! And that is final!

[Mijopapiii]

Because men can't be sluts