Why he wants Anal so badly?

Right i met this hot guy off tinder and we kind of arranged a casual friends with benefits realtionship between us before meeting as we both agreed on having casual sex and established the fact that we are not particularly looking for a relationship right now... He took me out for drinks the first time and after that he invited me to his and we had amazing sex all night, probably 4 times total and he made me come twice and really hard (unlike many other guys i met) and he let me stay the night at his and in the morning he was very nice to me and i left... then he was really excited about meeting me again and after a couple of days he asked me to go to his place and have sex, which i did! I went to his place and we had sex again all night and he put the effort again and made me come many times and in the morning he was all nice and we also spent a lot of time talking, getting to know each other, asking personal questions and cuddling in the night... then the third time we met, again a few days later he invited me to his and then we had sex and he asked me if i want to do anal, to which i refused and i said no... after i left, few days later he texted me and asked me if i want to go to his place and to have sex, but this time we would have to do anal and he even told me that there's no other way around it and he wouldn't change his mind on this... He said he wouldn't want to have sex with me anymore unless i let him try anal once... i completely refused and told him that i have no desire to try anal and he has been texting me almost every day since then trying to convince me and change my mind... Why is it such a big deal? Why he is willing to sacrifice our casual relationship just to have his anal? Its so weird...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I would never do anal (or any kind of sex for that matter) with someone who I did not trust to respect my boundaries. For many guys, it's a trust and control thing. As the receiver, you're in an extremely vulnerable position. So vulnerable that because of the nature of anal, you can get physically hurt if your partner is not respectful of your feelings and boundaries. This guy does not sound respectful at all.

    The reason why so many women wait to do anal until their in a committed relationship is because it is a sex act that takes patience, trust and care. What is shown in porn had completely misconstrued the practice in the minds of many men. I have read articles and interviews from current and ex porn actresses and actors talking about the job related injuries surrounding anal. Not something a guy thinks about when he's jacking off but those people are professionals and injury (sometimes long term) is a risk of a job they're getting paid for.

    I would not engage this man. He is using you with little to no consideration of your needs. If you only want a fuck buddy, find one that respects the buddy part

  • What a fucken twit.
    Don't let someone force you to do something you dont want.
    Tell him your ass hole is precious and made of gold and if he put his dick in there he's gonna fucken ruin it.
    He wants to do anal so badly because he's just into that kind of "shit." (No pun intended)
    Text him,
    "The sex was great. But not " that" great. Bye."
    And never message him again.
    And a way a guy seduces a woman into doing shit for him is by being super sweet.
    He kept doing all that awesome stuff to you so he can fuck your asshole forcefully.

    • he is such piece of shit! i told him i have never had anal sex and i would keep it for someone special, like long term boyfriend or husband... yes i am guessing he was performing well in bed and was being sweet to me so he can get me to have anal sex with him... maybe he is just using me because he has never tried anal before? i am really upset about this whole thing and never had a guy saying anal or no sex at all...

    • Yeah; most guys who do hookups are fucken using you. That's why I don't do hookups. Sexis great but in the end it's empty, its a disaster because the person you had that intimate relationship with doesn't even cafe about you. Save that for someone who you trust; someone who you know will cuddle you and love you and want to have fucken kids with you and get old and wrinkly together. Screw him!

    • Even care about you*

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  • "we would have to do anal and he even told me that there's no other way around it and he wouldn't change his mind on this" I would say bye and never contact him again, he can't respect your boundaries then he's not worth it. I'd tell him that him telling me I have to is screwed up, that it's not mutual, perhaps you'd be more open to it on your own time but now even vaginal sex would seem scary solely because I think he would try to stick it in your ass without your consent. If he's holding sex against you he's definitely not worth it.

  • i think he just wants it real bad since the beginning but he just held back to not make u run away, i dunno what to say... if you want to keep that relationship maybe you could do it, i mean i don't think it's that bad i never tried coz i am virgin but i just know some girls love it so much, i mean he seems to be a nice guy i suppose, maybe to please him i dunno

Most Helpful Guys

  • You are right and everyone else is right that he should just get the idea that you don't want it, and be OK with that.

    However... you seem to have sexual chemistry with him. You say he makes you cum. You say he puts in the effort.

    If you're not completely opposed anal, maybe you should try it with him? Not because he wants to, but because maybe he knows what he's doing and can show you how great anal sex is.

    He would have to go slow, though, use lots of lube, and make you feel comfortable about it.

    • yes unlike many other guys, i do have a strong sexual chemistry with him and most of the time i wouldn't even come if its a one night stand, with him i am able to come many times and we do get along and talk a lot, plus he is not sleeping around and hasn't been an asshole to me really except the anal part. I am willing to try but i am afraid what if he disappears after that? like he got what he wanted and then he is off to find someone else or just simply lose interested in me...

    • There are never any guarantees. You can never make anyone stay. He might not be interested in you anymore if you don't try anal with him; or you might do it, and like you say, then he might disappear because he got everything he wanted. So, you need to get out of this what you want for yourself. This could be sticking to not trying anal; or it could be exploring with someone. But think of yourself first, and don't be afraid.

  • I think a guy shouldn't beg a girl especially for sex because it makes him seem needy as fuck. And I don't think you should ever ask a girl for anal. I believe it's one of those things that you just try to do gradually without mentioning. Like trying fingering and if she enjoys it take it from there. I think he fucked up because he's practically begging you.

    • yes you are absolutely right! he definitely fucked up by asking me too soon and he is literally beginning me almost every day and hoping that i changed my mind... i would be up for anal if his approach was different and if he really put the effort into pleasing me, not ask for it on our 3rd fuck date. he doesn't appreciate the fact that i am having sex with him without any obligations or expectations because not many girls would do that...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's a fetish of his. Why are you so adamantly opposed?

    • i am not against it i just dont think its appropriate to ask a woman so early, its been 3 fuck dates only plus anal is mostly for couples and long term relationships and it requires patience because it takes time to practice and to make anal go well...

    • I suggest you tell him just that though I don't know that it's restricted in the ways you mentioned. Once you learn the skill, it's transferable. Here're some tips in case it's new to you or hasn't gone well before:

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a6855-comfortable-anal-sex-for-beginners-a-guide-to-the-first-time

    • I'd only do anal if a guy let me use a strap on on him. srsly.

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  • He wants to have anal sex with you so that way he doesn't have to wear a condom.

    • well he never wore a condom from the beginning... i let him have sex without protection

    • Thank you very much for the upvote. It just sucks he keeps trying to make you want to try anal. No means no. Also I do agree he is throwing away a good casual relationship. I don't think most guys would complain. I wouldn't.

    • You let from random guy you met on tinder fuck you without a condom? That's super risky behaviour.. I would strongly recommend against that in future... I'm not one to shame a person for what they choose to do with their body - hell I've had my fair share of casual sex and one night stands - but do it safely ffs!

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  • He's an asshole and he's trying to see what he can get you to do. It's a game for him.

    • yes i think he is a classic user and expects me to do everything for him and he is trying to see how much he can use me...

  • lol thats pretty fucking weird its not a guy thing by the way lol thats just his preference this shit was hilarious tho lmao

    • yes its so weird... something doesn't add up... is he trying to degrade/ humiliate me? he said i should make sacrifices for him...

    • i dont think its a degrading thing because anal sex isn't degrading it might be because he thinks that anal sx is this magical thing and he really wants to experience it if you let him do it once he probably won't want to do it again that bad he would be chill about it or it might be a dominance thing like he wants to dominate you completley

    • do u think i should let him try then? I am curious about it but i am afraid it would really hurt and then he might just disappear after i let him try anal with me... i think he is obsessed with it because he has never done it and wants to try and see whats like...

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  • If he wants it so bad... break out the strap-on and give it to him;-P

    • hahhaah i actually i said to him it would be fair if i use a strap on him and he told me that i should submit myself to him and put up with the pain and make sacrifices... dont know if he is playing some mind games

    • @Asker he sounds psycho a little.

    • @KawaiiPie67 Me or her BF/husband?

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