Guys, Why is my boyfriend masturbating to real girls on social media? Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

I'm dating this guy who I've known since high school and who has never ever had a girlfriend before and who has never even kissed a girl. He always just the class clown and was too shy to talk to girls. We are both 20 and attending college and have been dating for about 7 months now and barely started having sex. I went through his search history and saw that he would look up girls we knew in high school frequently so I confronted him about it. He then told me he would masturbate to them. I didn t know how to process this. He said it s been a bad habit he has even before we started dating. I asked if he was interested in them and he said he would never date them but he just finds them attractive. He says he just acts on impulse. I don't care if he watches porn but I feel like looking at other girls is taking it too far. I feel like he just settled for me but he denys it and says he's super happy with me. I threatened to break up with him and he started crying and said he said he would never cheat on me. Is this normal? We both really really like each other and I know he has good intentions, he even chose to delete his social media without me telling him to. Im just wondering what exactly goes through his mind?

[MrOracle]

While masturbating to real girls he actually knows by stalking their FB pages is potentially crossing some boundaries, you might want to read through the rest of this Take and pay attention to the reasons why guys watch porn (high libido and desire for variation).

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

in my opinion, I would make it clear that you're okay with him watching porn, but you have a problem with him using girls he actually knows for that purpose. That's a reasonable limitation, and there are legit reasons for it. He should be able to adjust to that.

[Asker]

Thank you! This explains a lot. My best explanation for this behavior would be, since he never ever had sexual relationships with a girl for a long period of time until he was 20, he only watched porn he got tired of it and needed something more realistic and turned to people's social media which turned into a habit and continued to do so when I came into the picture. When we started having sexual relations with each other he would wanna do it every single day. Do you think the guys desire these girls? Or has bad intentions? Should I be worried about this?

[MrOracle]

Not really. It seems he's perfectly willing to disengage from social media for the sake of your relationship, so there's really not much to worry about.

[Gman1]

I think you need to lay off his secret fantacy life.
I think his biggest mistake was trusting you to not to go through his internet browser, and for telling you the truth after you snooped.
I don't think he sounds like a bad guy... but it sounds to me that you are delving into Realms that you cannot comprehend... but perhaps you were teaching him a valuable lesson to delete his internet history.
Yeah, I don't expect you to agree... But you have no right snooping through his shit... If you treat you right and if he's loyal to you then so what?

[Asker]

I totally agree. Snooping through his stuff isn't right & I wish I didn't have a reason to. My first thought was that he was interested in other girls so I freaked out. I didn't know it was gonna be about him masturbating to this stuff. I just wanted to see what you guys thought about this behavior? Is it just a fantasy or something's he truly desires? Now I just feel insecure about myself and would like for you to explain this behavior of his if it's something normal

[Gman1]

"Normal" is a broad term... I personally have never masturbated to pictures of fully clothed women or people that I know, not even girlfriends. Let me give you something to think about though... How would you feel differently if you found hardcore pornsites on his web browser? My guess is you probably have the same thoughts and feelings knowing he's masterbating to other women. Why did you feel you had a reason to snoop again? Just so that you know... All men have different fetishes and tools that they use for fantasy... in women do too. What I have learned in my life is that it's just better not to know about these sort of things. Curiosity killed the cat after all 😜

[Anonymous]

totally normal. have fun with him.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it's totally normal. I do it all the time. It's really not even as bad as porn as they aren't even naked

[Asker]

Isn't it worse since it's real people that he knows? I feel like porn is a fantasy but looking at people's social media is a little too personal. Why can't he just watch normal porn? Does this mean he if he could he would have sex with them? I really don't understand.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally get what you mean, but it's like... you know how you can still be attracted to guys that you know while in a relationship? it's like that, it's just that he finds them physically attractive, the same way that he would find Emma watson attractive or something haha. Just because he does this that doesn't make him a cheater. If he does turn out to be a cheater then it's not because of this it;s because he;s a dick haha

[Asker]

yes this makes sense. and it's a little more comforting to hear this. I literally thought he had a problem. All the girls he looks up always post bikini pics and let their boons hang out. Would y'all just see them as sex objects and after y'all ejaculate it's just like "eh she means nothing to me" or is a strong desire to get with these girls on social media?

[Opinion Owner]

No, at least in my case it's a case of jacking off to pics of girls that i know that post really slutty pics. Most of them i hate personality wise, it's purely the just jerking off to hot girls, and the fact that you know then is for some reason a pretty good turn on haha