Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Why would my husband asked me how many sex partners I had before him? Is he feeling insecure?

1 4

Superb Opinion

  • That is odd,. Usually guys want nothing to do with that conversation. I had to have it after I was married and my wife would not drop it until I told her.

    There is no number that is going to make the guy feel better. He does, but doesn't want a virgin. Some guys will be fine with their number being super high, but want the woman to have a super low number. I just don't want to have that conversation ever. What happened before we met has no bearing at all on our relationship. I do not want to know how you learned to give an amazing blow job. <fingers in ear going lalalalalalala>

Most Helpful Guy

  • I always see people saying that if a person has no STD then body count doesn't matter...

    If that were the case, men would be lining up to marry adult actresses. Body count does matter to many guys, no matter how inconvenient that is.

    As for your husband asking... absolutely pointless question. You mentioned a night out. He probably noticed something through body language that made him wonder.

    A friend of mine has suffered all kinds of problems due to thinking body count didn't matter. But when she tries to warn younger women, they won't listen.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Only he’s knows for sure but most likely he’s wondering how he stacks up to past lovers. To be honest though it’s really none of his business. How many partners you’ve had in the past doesn’t make you a slut any more than a man who’s had the same number of partners. If he’s judging you for that reason then that’s a big red flag. Women’s sexuality and sexual freedom is no one’s business but your own. So don’t feel bad or ashamed for any reason.

  • Sounds like it especially considering you're already married and he knows there is no worry of STDs. If he wondered that while y'all were still dating that's one thing but you're married now and know each other are both clean.

    • Yes I think so too. I have never asked him that question. Not even sure what to say. Tell him the truth or not lol because my number is kinds up there.

    • It shouldn't matter honestly. If you're clean then it shouldn't matter at all. You're married so he knows by now you don't have any diseases. At this point if he's asking and he's affected by it then it's his insecurity of being scared of being compared to other guys before him in bed. Because none of it matters. He's married to you, he's the one that ultimately won in the end. He should be content with that alone.

    • Or he could go the other direction and secretly the thought might turn him on. There is always a chance of that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 29

  • He should have asked that before you got married. It seems strange he is asking now. Maybe he always wanted to know and it's just stating to bug him now for some reason.

  • Probably. I totally get wanting to know, but it's just dumb to wait until after you're married to ask that sort of thing.

    • Why in the world would you want to know? What is it with women? What happened before you met that person has no bearing at all on your relationship. Other then making sure neither of you have an STD, it is just not important at all

    • It's way more common for men to do that, so not really sure why you aim that at women. But I would want to know because I waited for marriage to have sex and I wouldn't want someone who didn't.

    • I understand if he asked me when we first started dating but he asked me after 17 years of marriage. He asked me after a night hanging out with his friend. One of his friends and I used to date.

    • Show All

  • Stupidity and insecurity come to mind

  • That's a very common question that guys ask. That's usually the first thing I ask a woman whom I'm interested in.

    • You aren't representative in that though.

  • Yes. That is certainly something an insecure man would ask!

  • Seems strange he would ask after you 2 are married, maybe he is just bored and feels like he loves you enough to find out and not care about it.

  • It could be one of two reasons. One is good and one is bad.

  • probably after you asked him. otherwise guys don't dig up the past.

  • Possibly crazy he wants to know now after getting married lol

    • I know right. He could have asked when we’re still dating. But why now?

    • Dono maybe someone told him somthing or he read somthing thats making him think about it

    • He raised the question after a night hanging out with his friends.

    • Show All

  • Why do women often try to hide their bad behavior by calling someone insecure for asking?

    • The fact that body count matters to men is insecurity though

    • Just because someone doesn't want a low quality immoral person, that doesn't make them "insecure." It is low quality people that know they have made bad decisions in life and will NEVER be good enough to have a high quality partner that frequently call others insecure for having standards.

    • No way your username is high value lmao that's amazing

    • Show All

  • Not sure. I have wondered about my wife but I'd never ask.

  • He wants to know if he fucked up and married a woman who is liable to cheat

  • Curiosity. I've asked a number of girls who they fucked previously and none ever had a problem telling me.

  • cuz ur past would say a lot about what kind of person u were or u r

    • Like?

    • for example if u were a cheater in past there is a possibility u would cheat again in future or present cuz u have tendency to cheat

  • Maybe he just doesn't want STDs or something

  • Probably insecure and worried you are comparing him to other guys.

    • I think so too

  • Why are you still with him after that?

    Any man would be out the door if I was asked that question.

  • Perhaps your ideas off opening the marriage is opening his mind to what that might look like and one way to know is too reflect on the past. Is he asking for details or that was it?

  • Stop shaming men for caring about body count, we have very valid reasons for it to concern us!

    • What kind of reasons?

    • Women with high body counts are more likely to cheat, initiate breakup or divorce, and have trauma, bad habits, and STDs. After taking a certain number dicks a woman loses her ability to pair-bond forever.

  • I would assume he is insecure. Like, I know my partners have taken tons of loads in them but I don’t want to hear about it. Lol

  • Show More (15)

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