Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
Am I a 23 year old virgin loser?
Anonymous
Hi I am in a weird situation I'm 23 years old a still a virgin, never had a girlfriend and really have no experience. it might seem strange to those who do not know me well as I'm kind-hearted, honest, good looking, in amazing shape (im ripped), and highly intelligent (a straight A student). On the other hand I lack confidence, am shy and can be very socially awkward.especially when I approach women. I'm worried that when I eventually do get a girlfriend she'll judge me for being a virgin and think I'm some kinda weirdo or something? do you guys think she will and would you have a problem dating someone in my situation?
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What Girls & Guys Said
39 23Don't think that a woman will judge you for being a virgin! That is what I am looking for. I am currently 19 years old and have never had a boyfriend. Consequently, I have never been kissed, but I have to say that I am somewhat okay with that. I find that I am looking for a guy in a similar situation. I want a guy that is new to the whole relationship thing because then I don't feel intimidated. I understand what you mean when you say you feel you are "some kinda weirdo." I feel that way too, but I have begun to take pride in myself. I have been given many strange looks and have gotten many weird replies but I have learned to brush it off. I keep telling myself that there is a guy out there that will accept me for who I am.
Please don't think that you are "weird" for how you are. I would love to find a guy that doesn't have a lot of "experience," because then I wouldn't feel pressured to try and be someone I'm not.
I fee like I'm rambling, but I hope this helps.
Hay buddy, I am in the same boat your in and probably feel the same way too. I am also a 23 year old virgin and sometimes I do feel like a looser. It is important that we stop thinking like this. I know it's hard but be strong and have confidence. There are things that can help you out for meeting woman and which I am trying now, for example David Deangelo E-books, which I recommend. One thing man stop acting NEEDY and wanting it so bad, be PATIENT it will come. Learn about woman and how to talk and attract woman. I wish you the best.
Your friend,
Mike
You are NOT a weirdo. If any girl judges you because you're a virgin, she's not worth anything. It's OKAY to be a virgin. Honestly, what's the rush? Why does everyone have to have sex NOW? Twenty three is really not that old, and life does not revolve around sex. I'm not saying that you are one of the people who think that sex is everything, but so many people think that, and then they have sex, and it's not what they thought. I see it everyday. If you're as sweet as you sound, I think you'll find someone. And you're not a freak. I know some girls who would find that attractive.
hey that's not bad at all being a virgin at 23 I know someone whos 18 leaviing for the air force in 3 months and in the same boat as you trust me he's not a great guy with his personality he's like the opposite of you so he might not get a girl but you will in time it may take a while but as a girl to me my opinion if your good looking or not but have a great personality like you said that you do well it seems like it any girl would fall for you and being a virgin well that doesn't matter it shouldnt matter weather she's a virgin or not and who knows if your honest to her and say that you are maybe she might be a virgin too its always cool to know your not the only one in the relationship that's a virgin and if she's not a virgin she wouldn't care but that's just me and as for being a loser your not :P
i love this question. I have a cousin (a girl) who is DROP DEAD gorgeous like, for real, she is sooo pretty. she is 22. she hadn't even had her first kiss. she's gorgeous, she's smart, funny, interesting, but terrified of guys and no flirting skills. while at a conference, she met a guy. he thought she was the most adorable thing he ever saw. she told him right up front that she had never been kissed and he was so sweet about it. she finally got that kiss after like 3 dates and they are so happy together. I've never seen her like this. I think any girl would love to date somebody like you, I know that I would.
Dude, you are not alone, I too and a 23 year old virgin (male). And I can say it has driven me insane to the point where I feel that I am un-repairable. My first (and only) "kiss" was when I was 8 and I had 1 "girlfriend" in high school for about 2 weeks before that went out the window. I have been reading internet stuff how get women attracted to you and all that crap and it just depresses me more. So when I do go out I drink some liquid confidence, think about what all this crap I'v been reading tells me, then as if through a third person perspective watching myself fail at it and get p*ssed. And then I drink too much liquid confidence which then makes you exactly what all the books warn you about. My only advice to you my friend is, dress nice. for no reason at all what so ever. Eventually women will walk up to you and be like "what's the occasion?". better yet go out with a group of people dressed up for no reason at all. good luck.
I read about half of the responses from you ladies out there and I just have to say. If you think 23 y/o virgins are cute that is just maniacal. Men and Women are wired completely different. To us men we see this as failure, as if we "lost the football game" or something ridiculous like that. Men are extremely competitive and need that competitive feeling, be it from sports, video games, arguments, whatever. So when this happens to us we see it "losing" or being a "loser" because every other guy out there talks it up as "scoring", so when we don't score, no score = losing in our minds.
Yes, ideally I would love to meet a girl around my age who is also a virgin. In fact, that would be worth the years of anger and solus I went/going through. But it will never happen because it's some sick fantasy for all you women. And in my observations women "settle" or stay with people because they see it better then being alone. So stay with those boyfriends that treat you like dirt. That way you will never get your mid-late 20's virgin fantasy because no one at that age has any confidence left to intervene and probably sees it as "well maybe this is just a bad day" or some other asinine excuse. Last time I said something to a guy that I thought was mistreating a girl, I got a mean look, a thank you and got to watch them walk away holding hands.
Best Wishes to you dude, and good luck ladies with those fantasies. You can only disappoint yourselves
dude, I wish there were MORE male virgins. I'm almost 21 and still a virgin. no boyfriend or anything. I'm not hot, but I'm pretty damn cute, haha. I wouldn't judge you and none of my friends, virgins or not, would either. the innocent thing is cute, in our opinion and the women on here all agree =D
I expected you to say you were fat or ugly.
Lol not ripped and HOT!
Anyway, girls love virgins.
I personally don't mind them.
I'd love to take a guys virginity!
That's not dorky to me at all.
girls don't like virgins. people are just being nice on here. I would recommend just losing it. more girls will approach you then.
Do you realize the paradox of your statement? How is one ever supposed to lose one's virginity if virgins are undesirable partners?
Like I did. don't tell her. there are tones of girls looking for a one night stand. find one you like treat her good and things will fly by
I am dating a guy that sounds just like you, and I am in total love with him. Yes, the fact that I was his first ANYTHING was intimidating. But actually I loved it. I loved that fact that I was that girl that got to kiss him and be his first girlfriend. It really blew me away. If a girl is into you, she won't have a problem with your experience level, honestly she won't care.
The best thing you can do right now is stop worrying about losing your virginity, and just develop some platonic friendships with women. Don't be picky or limit it to girls you might be attracted to - just make some friends and hang out with them, whether in groups or one-on-one. This will get you comfortable around women and you'll learn what makes them tick. Interacting with a girl will become less of a stressful/awkward situation and more like something you're used to doing. You'll start seeming like a confident guy, which girls like regardless of how experienced you are.
You also might want to consider not waiting for a "girlfriend" - waiting to fall in love before you have sex is great if you're lucky enough to meet the right person at the right time, but you could keep your options open. If you have female friends, they will probably take it upon themselves to make sure you meet some of their friends, and they might even know a girl who is in the same situation as you.
I lost my virginity at 23. I found a girlfriend and got all worked up about the same question you are asking, what would she think? I told her and it turned out she was a virgin too. Being honest about it, whether the girl is a virgin or not, is the way to go. And any girl who is worth spending time with, or sleeping with, won't judge you for it.
I know what it feels like.I was in that situation not long ago and I am even older than you (I lost it at 26). I had to tell the guy because he would notice anyway (i'm a girl).Anyway, I think the right person would not freak out and would have patience with you. I was not lucky - I got dumped shortly afterwards and it took me a long time to recover but I wish you luck. Whether to tell her is up to you, but she would certainly notice your inexperience so do whatever feels comfortable for you. I think sex is overrated and everyone can become good at it if he or she wants.
hun I find that great I think its still good that there are some good looking and smart guys out there that are still virgins I would love it I find it very cool but maybe I'm weird lol
Girls won't be weirded out by dating a 23-year-old virgin. A lot of people (boys and girls) don't have sex until ages after-- I know a couple of guys who are 25-26 who've never had sex. It's not a bad thing and anyone who thinks that isn't someone to be respected.
Why would you lack confidence if you are all those things? If you can't think of anything to say to girls, then at least smile, and tell them "I'm sorry [that you're being so quiet/awkward], I'm kind of shy, you're so beautiful" and you should be good to go. Otherwise, just keep asking them questions-- everyone loves talking about themselves. It saves you from talking!
Sometimes its cute to be shy, but if you are to shy then a girl may mistake it as self-centered. It is normal to be shy. Maybe it's still not your time to blossom if you are that shy. You do need to work on it tho.You will gain the confidence slowly but surly. Good luck.
Confidence is key. If you say something like "Well.I'm.actually sort of.a virgin.", girls will be turned off. It makes you seem like a guy who is clueless about anything regarding relationships or physical intimacy. You'll come across as timid and innocent. Girls are definitely not interested in getting close to a guy who's like this.
Don't feel ashamed of yourself. If you're in that position where the issue of what you've done comes up, don't be shy or beat around the bush about it. Just say, "I haven't really done anything." If she asks why, be honest and blunt with that too. "I just haven't had the opportunity" or "I just haven't found the right person yet." Or whatever. If you don't act like being a virgin is embarrassing to you, they won't see it that way either. Speak the truth and speak confidently about it. Any girl who is turned off by you being open and truthful is not worth your time anyway.