Sexual Health
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Am I overreacting to my mom's sex life?

I am 24. Ever since my mom divorced my dad 4 years ago she has been constantly having sex. She is 40 and looks younger. The men, however, are always in their mid to late 50s. My friends always make fun of me because they think she is gorgeous and because of her large breasts and butt. I am in grad school and live at home because I live like 15 mins from school. She always is with a different guy. I can hear them late at night fuc*ing. She seems to love it and acts like it is normal. My friends say that she enjoys herself and I should embrace it. She is really dirty though. I have heard her begging for anal sex, I can hear the men she is with spank her, and call her dirty names. They always play grab ass. And they get drunk, the men drag her into the bedroom, she loves it, etc. She gave a guy a blowjob on the couch at 4AM once when she thought I was away. The guy **** slapped her and came on her face. She tries to be discreet I guess but thinks I am mature enough to handle it. She even thinks I am happy for her. What do I do? I hate that she is a slut. She tries to have them over late at night and apologizes for making noise but acts like it completely normal. Also why are the men she is with so old?
Am I overreacting?
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Is she a big slut?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Something my Mom has pointed out to me and my brothers is that; "When a woman marrys young and divorces young, many of them appear to try to make up for lost time". (Guys do it too.)

    Doing the math, your mom is 40, you are 24, that means she was around 16 when she gave birth and became a mom. She was only 15 when she found out she was pregnant. She didn't have much time to grow up from being a teenager to a teenage mom with responsibilities. (Can't imagine the shock of that.)

    In many ways she appears to be celebrating her freedom from marital "responsibility and accountability" (herself). Knowing nothing about the dynamics of her marriage it's also hard to see why she is acting out her sexuality in almost anin your face "public" manner. I always think about it like when my family's two English Bulldogs, Chesty and Gertie have to "behave" when we have company. When company goes home they run around acting their normal goofy selves, on the furniture and doing the things they know gets them our attention, good or bad! They don care whether it's good or bad they are just getting attention! Sound familiar?

    From my take on your description, her behavior bothers you a lot. She is running around the house getting attention, good or bad. As difficult as it will be, only way things are going to change if you choose to remain under her roof is you are going to have to discuss her behavior with her. You need to communicate that it pains too to see her demean herself with the revolving doorway of guys using her.

    Another option might be to move out, find your own place, right now that's probably your best option. It will get you the peace and quiet. Just not the peace of mind. That mom isn't being abused by the guys she's bring to her "bed". It's her house, but it doesn't make you any less concerned for her physical and emotional safety. Wish you luck!

  • I suppose that the big problem is that technically, it is her house. My mom is divorced too and she's brought her boyfriend home as well. Although they normally are very quiet and discreet when they lock themselves in her room, I know how you feel that it bothers you. Becuase these are our lovely mothers that have raised us to be good children and seeing them doing things that are impulsively bothers us a great deal.

    But in my part, I also think about what I'm doing when I'm with my boyfriend. And she's not stupid, she knows what I'm doing. I guess that whole thing about mothers-know-everything is true. but regardless, she doesn't say anything to me or objects about it. She says that it is my life and she doesn't have much control over me anymore, even if she doesn't like what I do. Of course, she is right.

    Because of this reason, it is why I tend not to say anything to her either. I have talkd to her about some stuff, of course, but in the end, it's her life. We as the kids, don't have much control over either.

    I would say you should talk to her, at least over her discrection issues. In a way, it is a kind of bad example for you being her daughter, to hear her in action in her sex life. Telling her how you feel about all that might make her see reason and she'll calm down.

    Hope all goes well :)

  • older men makes her feel younger. after her divorce, she got her freedom back, and she wants to live again, and put herself back out there. some people don't make it through this transition well. did she take time to get over her divorce? how does she feel about men after one bad marriage? Women don't react in the same way as men. Men can just get over it. Some people are introverts, which means that after a hard time they become depressed. some people are extroverts, which means that they act out in ways such as changes in behavior and promiscuity. your mom seems to be an extrovert. you have to be sure to stand by her and keep her strong so she can get better. your opinion matters most to her and if you speak up, it may seem that she doesn't absorb it, but it does sink in.

  • So, I guess how would you feel if it were your dad having all this fun instead of your mom. I really think calling her a slut is kind of old school. She's probably just exploring her options and having fun. We throw away all those slut terms after we get older and realize you guys would do the same if you could.

    It's her business, but really you should talk to her, but try not to be so judgemental. Tell her you are happy for her to be having fun, but because she is your mom, you'd rather not see or hear anything going on.

    She probably is with the old guys because they are making her feel attractive and wanted. She may calm down soon. We all go through phases in our life.

    Also, maybe it is time to move out.

    • I totally agree with you. Take an arrow up from me.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Your mom's sex life is, despite your impulse, none of your business. If she wants to beg for anal while getting spanked, that's absolutely her affair.

    She's grown. She knows what she's doing. She doesn't seem to be putting herself in danger from what I can see. It looks like she has the sex life she wants, and she's happy with it. DO NOT screw with it.

    Your mom does need to learn discretion, though. She is not doing all the work she could to separate you from her sex life. It would be different if she lived alone, but she doesn't.

    Have a sit-down talk with her about how you're going to share the space. Let her know that witnessing her sport is making you uncomfortable, and you'd rather not be there.

    You're a grad student. You've had roommates before. You've had this problem before. Same thing.

  • Sadly, your mother gave you bad instruction about sex and sexuality and has created her own problem. Her behavior is well within the norms of sexuality and she should have let you know that there is a lot of acceptable variety to sex.

    The larger point is that her sexuality is none of your business. You are currently a guest in her house. Learn to politely ignore the person getting laid in the next room.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • How long has your mom been married to your dad? Sometimes when women have been in a long term relationship and it ends they feel like they wasted those years. They don't feel attractive anymore and look to find that again. these guys probably make her feel sexy, and good about herself. She is on her own now and just wants to explore her new options. It may be like this for awhile. So its cool! Give your mom a break. Move into your own place.

  • ...

    ...

    ... WOW... I have no idea what to tell you.

    move out? I think I would.

  • You may like to think of her in any way but she is mature, sex addicted and would continue to have it. Better to accept the reality.

  • I think you are just jealous. Yes she could have been more discreet, but it's her house, it's her life. I think it's just time for you to move out and give her some space.

  • If I have a chance I will help your mums sex life.

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