Sexual Health
+1 y

Are Threesomes good or bad for a relationship?

My boyfriend has hinted a few times that he would like to have one of my girlfriends join us for a threesome. He does know that she and I have hooked up in the past but that was 3 years ago. I have never considered doing one, but he says they can make our relationship stronger. Is this true? should I do it? I think it would be easier with her but at the same time whenever we are together I would know that she had sex with my boyfriend.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • The majority of the time, relationships don't survive threesomes. Most people are too jealous to share, and it's very easy to feel "left out" or that your partner is "enjoying" the other person more than you. Sometimes that's actually true, but even when it's not, it's something that many people can't handle.

    You can't always predict how you'll feel either. About a year ago, a girl came here and wrote that her boyfriend had been pushing and pushing for a threesome, and she had never been with a girl and wasn't comfortable with the idea, but she finally did it because he wouldn't let it go. It turns out that she LOVED being with another girl (even though she was still primarily into guys), and that her boyfriend was the one who found out he couldn't handle sharing her, even with another girl. Seeing two girls together was his #1 fantasy, but he couldn't deal with the reality when one of them was his girlfriend.

    I'm not saying it can never work, because my own relationship has survived threesomes, but my Girlfriend is bi and also obsessed with making me happy, and has no jealousy about me having sex with another girl (she just doesn't want any feelings involved). That's very rare; most people aren't like her and couldn't handle it. I myself wasn't sure I believed her, and I resisted for months until she finally convinced me she was totally fine with it. I still wouldn't have been shocked if she turned out to be jealous, despite her assurances, because again, most people would be.

    Threesomes can be great fun in a casual/FWB situation, where no feelings are involved, but in a relationship? Most of the time, they are the kiss of death.

  • Bringing someone else into the relationship is a bad thing. Feelings between people can develop during sex, and jealousy is also a huge factor. If you are naked and trying to please your man, and you see him getting off to another woman instead of you, it is likely going to hurt a lot.

    Him saying that it would make the relationship stronger is very manipulative of him. I have never heard of any study showing that a threesome helps a relationship. He is just making it up in order to get you to do what he wants.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yeah it is not a good thing to do for your relationship. It will most likely destroy it. You will become jealous and paranoid and hate the fact that your friend has f***ed your man. I don't think it is really a good sign either that he is persistently asking you to do this. A threesome is a cool weird and random sexual experience for you to have as a single girl with other people but when you are a part of a couple and the other woman comes into it, well that's when things get complicated because it isn't just about sexual experience whether you think it is or not because there is emotion there between you and your man.

    • lol. yeah just try explaining that to any decent guy. if you gave another man a threesome. then I'm for sure as hell getting one too. in fact its part of the menu

    • Who says a threesome has to be with a guy and a girl or two guys... Ever heard of girl on girl on girl. And decent guys who love you wouldn't want to f*** other woman in front of you. It's a cop out.

  • I've never had one but from what I've noticed in most cases, no they rarely, if ever, make a relationship "stronger". Typically they ruin relationships. Even if one parter claims to be okay with it and goes through with it, jealousy and insecurity are sure to arise from the threesome. Especially if it's with another female that you know.

    I would say threesomes are only good for non-relationship people. Doing it once you're in a relationship usually doesn't end well. You don't "have" to do it just because it's what he wants. Think about it long and hard before you agree to anything.

  • You better think it twice, think if you'd like to be with this girl again having sex with her, going down under to her vag and see your guy doing the same, and having her down there in you. Think if your Boyfriend wants to take advantage of the situation or you both really will enjoy the threesome. Be honest with you first and see the positive and negative points in it and if you are very sure of doing it then go for it and enjoy it, but if you have the minimum doubt in something then don't do it and make it real clear with your guy. Good luck.

  • It's your call. How comfortable do you feel about it? I definitely do not think it's true that threesomes can make relationships stronger. If you did do it, your friend would see YOUR boyfriend naked. What if your friend starts crushing on your boyfriend afterward or vice versa?

    How jealous would you be of your friend during...would it be hostile between your friend after that? Would you two be able to stay friends after that?! Good friends share, but it's more like sharing advice, but genuine best friends would never share a guy.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

1 9

  • He might like sex with her better than you.

  • Well, the logic that a monogamous relationship would be strengthened by a non-monogamous experience seems just a LITTLE flawed.

  • he is just being selfish.. its not about you rekindling an old flame with her its him trying to create a dream come true to then leave you and brag about his 3some and all his boys will call you up asking what's up/\ do not put that label on yourself... what you did in the past does not mean he gets to share that with you!

  • uhhh threesomes are a bad idea in general if you ever want to get with somebody who hasn't have one or most guys that want to have kids and a marriage.

  • No it won't. If you do it just know the next time you're intimate he's thinking about her

  • It depends on the people involved. Most couples are not made stronger by threesomes because for most couples, it's one person pressuring the other into having one, rather than something they both want to try.

  • Tell him you will have the threesome but you want it to be him and his guy friend with you and see how he reacts then make a decision based on that!

  • they are good if you both know what the real rules are about having them.

    seeing another girl f*** him will make you be a better girlfriend.

    you both (mostly him) need to know that the extra girl is just an addition to your f***ing. you can't get jealous of him f***ing her & he can't get pissy if you girls are enjoying each other.

    • *him seeing you get f***ed will also make him a better boyfriend

  • They are bad

  • They are fun when they are done "right". There needs to be guidelines from the start and they cannot be broken for anything or it won't work. I think he's just saying it'll make things stronger to butter you up into doing it. I mean after-all, it is every guys dream to have a threesome. So I'd say go for it because it'd be fun and you both would love it, but again stick to those guidelines. Maybe if sex makes you uncomfortable, you can all just do oral together.

Latest Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?
Home >  Sexual Health  > Are Threesomes good or bad for a relationship?