Denied......again. What man in their right mind turns down a blowjob?

[Anonymous]

Why?!? I'm not asking for anything in return. I even make that apparent. Yet he has turned them down numerous times. Sex too on occasion. But a bj?!? His excuse is usually, I'm tired baby. Last night it was, I have to get up early. Now I know that there are times when one gets tired or stressed and sex is the last thing on their mind. But not the case with him. He watches p*rn quite a bit (not too much) I don't mind he watches, I've offered to watch w/him. What gets me is I've noticed he watches on days I've offered a bj and was denied. I understand that sometimes you need to masturbate because and easy quick release. Not having to worry about your partners needs. So here's where my question lies, is a bj that much different than jerking off? If you know your partner is willing to satisfy you without wanting anything in return is that any different that a quick jerk in the shower? I'm getting so frustrated by this.

[Anonymous]

My ex used to do that. It had nothing to do with sex drive...it was his way of controlling me. Years after it didn't work out between us, I heard someone say "whenever your partner denies you anything, it is their way of punishing you in the relationship." I don't know how true that is. I think that it has more to do with control. He couldn't really dominate me in any other way in our relationship:

He couldn't get satisfaction from dominating me during sex, because I liked it too damb much.

He couldn't dominate me mentally

He couldn't dominate me emotionally

But he knew how much I liked sex, and whenever he denied me, he enjoyed that power over me.

The thing about a relationship that hits this kind of block is that there isn't anywhere for the relationship to go. If your partner is getting their jollies off making you upset, I think it is a pretty good sign that it is time to leave.

Nothing is wrong with you. In fact, he is probably being such a p*ss poor boyfriend because he knows you're too good for him. Just leave. Find someone else. You get to decide how you are going to be treated in a relationship, no one can decide it for you. And bluntly: sex is a very easy commodity to come by... there's no reason you should be going without.

[Asker]

That is some scary input. And seriously something to consider. He does have a dominant personality. Thank you for your perspective = )

[Belgie]

Hard to tell. I'm not sure if things like that are different for gay guys.

If you're in a relationship with this guy, it's puzzling why he'd choose p*rn and jerking off instead of a bj.

But if he's not your current boyfriend or f***buddy or anything, then maybe it's his way of saying he's just not into you.

I know I wouldn't accept a bj from someone I wasn't interested in.

[ronangel]

I think p*rn for men is like romance novels for women. Everything is idealized. The sex is perfect and the stamina is fantastic. Both partners are sensitive, even if one partner is violated initially, it is the best ever.

Let's face it gals, you have to work at a relationship and above all communicate (without words when you are intimate).

[l-hedoniste]

He's not into blowjobs. Try something else.

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't take it personally. I'm a guy and I hate blowjobs

[Asker]

Seem to be getting this response a lot. And I would take it into consideration. But I know its not the case. Ill spare explicit details...haha

[Anonymous]

Some people just don't like oral sex.

[Anonymous]

ive done it a lot, what's it to you. I find it a lot different I don't really enjoy people on my d*** who I don't know

[Asker]

Not the case here. We've been together for 2 years. He loves me, as I love him. But I see where you're coming from. There has to be an emotional connection. = )