Yes it does. An attractive girl is an attractive girl, however, there are many things that can alter my desire for sexual activity, so to speak, with that girl.
I've had many situations where I was dating a girl that I thought was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I thought she was so hot and couldn't keep my hands off of her. As soon as we broke up, I just stopped seeing her that way. Emotions can make you love somebody who maybe isn't the most attractive person in town, but once you take those emotions away and the bond you have with that person, it becomes about pure lust, in which case, things can change. Plus if the break up was bad, you purposely try and forget about them, not fantasize about them.
As far as being in a relationship, I'm sure lust can start to fade, if the relationship gets stale or your partners really lets their looks fall by the wayside, but I've fortunately never experienced this. I've always had the same lust for my partner and if anything it only got stronger with time.
Personality also plays a large role. A girl being hot isn't everything. If she's a bitch or simply put, not a good person, it kind of keeps us from thinking sexually about her, unless the particular guy is into that sort of thing. For instance, I have an ex Girlfriend who turned about to be a bitch and a psycho path. She was the hottest girl I've still so far ever dated, but I wouldn't get back together with her or have sex with her if you paid me. I've also never once fantasized about her post break up.
I can also see how a person might fantasize about having sex with a particular partner who they once had great sex with, but I think this depends on the persons sexual history. This happens to be a bit, but only because I've only had sex with a handful of people, and all but one were just god awful in bed, and I mean god awful. So the one girl who was actually good and who I did the most things with, still makes me long for something like we both had. Not necessarily with her, but just something like it.
I also think, unlike women, men don't fantasize about having what we can't have. If anything its the opposite. Dwelling on that of which we can't have frustrates us because its a blow to our egos. We'll fantasize about a girl who we more realistically can attain. Instead of fantasizing about a celebrity or that most popular girl in school for instance, we'll fantasize about the girl next door, or the girl who sits in front of us in math class. Again, we go for what's realistically attainable. Maybe its because we're just simply logical about how we approach dating and sex and therefore don't like wasting time, maybe its because going after easy targets inflates our ego, who really knows. I think it just depends on the person. I personally just don't like wasting my time on things that aren't likely, so for me its about making the best use of my time, even my fantasy time.
Yes you made very interesting points. I agree that looks aren't everything. Actually for me, it is more based on the interaction with the person, more based on chemistry than just overall assessment of whether or not the guy looks hot (I don't know if guys feel that way though). And I think you're definitely right about women being more likely to fantasize about celebrities (though I don't)
I had a f for 3 years who was absalutely stunning and we lusted after each other daily with out fail
Was she your girlfriend?
ya
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I forgot who I masturbated to last week, if that's any indication about a physical attraction and fantasizing. If we're emotionally attracted though, you've left a crater.
I understand, you value emotional attraction over sexual one. How do you make the difference between the two (because I won't be attracted to someone sexually, it's because I'm emotionally attracted too, however emotional attraction don't imply sexual attraction to me)
Well...I'm a bit confused on this after recent events. Seems the closer I get to someone emotionally, the more barriers I put up as a defense (not intentionally, but instinctively). Physical attraction I don't really feel much different than watching p*rn.
It definitely fades. I was sexually attracted to plenty of girls that I never consummated anything with, and I wouldn't spit on them today if they were on fire.
I see. So am I weird for still having sexual fantasies about a guy I was once very attracted to ? I've become sort of sexually obsessed with him and even if he's not around anymore I still want him and desire him with passion. I thought that the fact that it seemed mutual but nothing had ever happened was the reason.
I would think of you as being, not weird exactly, but not mainstream normal. I'd tell you what I tell people in your position - you're not a stalker, are you? Get over the guy. Stop keeping a fantasy alive, and find some one in the real world you can happy with. No one can compete with a fantasy that exists only in your mind.
No I'm not a stalker (I don't think so at least) I don't go out of my way to follow him or make plans to meet him out of mere coincidence. I don't crush on guys easily or even see them in a sexual way usually.
Its called the TRINITY
- First girl I ever liked and wanted to mary at first sight was a childhood friend and her name starts with the letter J.
-First and only Girl on the planet who is by far the closest one to absolute perfection if perfection is the balance of the human mind, body heart, soul, spirit and nature. Her name starts with J
- First one of the great ones to give me a chance to take her out on a date, and this girl's first name starts with the letter J.
What do all these three little J stars have in common? For starters, they are all Frozen Angels. Check out the defenition from urban dictionary.
link
I will miss these girls till the day I die, and still hope nothing but the best for all of them. I don't fantasize about them sexually, the imprints are different than sexual for me. For example the second member, seein her at school and just sayn hi, felt like I was standing next to a goddess and literally felt amazing. The imprint of the second one is purely missing her unique mind and personality, and on Facebook when she has new group photos and sitting and smiling on some guys lap, I don't feel jelousy, I feel like my prayers come true that she is doing well. Hope you get the point. I may be mentally ill to love the ones tat look down on me.
But as for sexual lust that still exist, check and answer my question and see if you have worse luck than me:
link
You have a sort of unconditional love for them then? I find this very beautiful.
I read the question you directed me to. You asked it 4 months ago. re you still in lust with her? Well, what can I say, apart that I feel your pain. I'm in a similar case, and the guy isn't even around anymore (it's been over a year that I haven't seen him) and I still have thoughts of him, of how we interacted that make me very horny towards him. I I knew how to ed it, I would gladly tell you.
As for Trinity, I guess you could call it unconditional love. Hope they will one day learn to appreciate guys who treat them right. Hope dies last. And as for the girl I asked to take my virginity, I get horny every-time we talk about her sex life. As soon as I go home, I have to masturbate it out. Its crazy that around her there is more adrenalin in my blood flow than even the best p*rn can provide. She is not the hottest out of my friends but there is something really sexy about her.
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