Help! Can't stop thinking about the mind blowing sex with my ex!

My ex and I broke up a year ago, but I still can't stop thinking about the mind blowing sex we had. I consider myself to have a pretty high number but this really blew everything else out of the water. All the cliches... toe curling, everything else fades away, want to stay in bed for hours sex. The problem is, I am in a very serious relationship now. Not to say that I want to get back together with my ex, we were't the right people for each other and I am very happy with my boyfriend now.. but its just not the same. I've tried coaching my boyfriend and he's great, not doing anything wrong there's just not that certain something that made my ex so unforgettable. I really don't know what to do, I thought this would fade away with time but it hasn't. Advice? I am so afraid that the answer is just that sometimes you don't end up with the person you connected with the most in bed.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm having the same problem. The guy was really bad for me, but he was hot, strong enough to pick me up easily, very well endowed and gave COSMIC orgasms! I'm talkin mind blowingn make you scream, hyperventilate sex, and this is all without actually going all the way! (I know, right?)

    Over a year and half later I can't get it out of my head and I get butterflies when I think about some of those moments. I can still get "perked up" just thinking about those nights.

    Remembering why he's super bad for me does absolutely nothing to quell the involuntary physical reactions to thinking about that unbelievable sex. When a guy makes you have put of body experiences, remembering he's a jerk isn't quite enough.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I didn't read this but that's just something time will get past. I remember my ex girlfriend saying I was the best, just thinking every girl says that was not true. After we broke up she came to my friends how's trying to grab my junk for a while, when I went to get my stuff see was all over me trying to give me bj''s, when she say me at stores she would follow me catch me where no one could see and stick her hand down my pants. Man I tell you it was hard not to have sex with her because I knew if I did we would probably end back up together. Over time she moved on, but it did take time, it wasn't like a week or two it was like 3 months of this. I did a lot of beating off cause of her. Lol

  • remember all the bad things that went on in the relationship that are the reason you two aren't together. I feel like that's about all you can do.

    I had a girlfriend a while back who was great in bed and do this day I haven't really had a sex life like it...but the fact is she is my ex for a reason and I tried to focus on the reasons we aren't together and kind of put the sex in perspective (e.g. the sex was great but was it really worth all the _________?)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Do you want to go backwards or move forward? The blue pill or the red pill? There is a reason why he's your ex. Just know if you want to go backwards, you will never be able to move forward. I hope you don't ever mention or talk about your ex in the way you have here, to your current boyfriend. What girls fail to realize is once you tell your partner how great one of your exes was in bed, he will have that running through his head whenever you are engaged in the act. Guys don't like being told there is someone better then him. (just a warning for ya)

    • Lol the girl I was talking about did that exact thing, but instead of telling him someone's better she should discribe how he was doing it, not him literally, just some guidance.

    • Yeah guidance is fine. But blatantly saying it to your partner is a no no. If it happened to me, I would next the girl. I already have sex running through my mind quite often, I don't want to be reminded of how my girl told me her ex was the best she ever had.

  • Let the past in the past.

    Your current boyfriend is probably doing other things that combined with the sex makes it better than how things were with the ex.

    You need to start having great sex with the guy you are with and forget about the stuff you had the ex. Compare past with presnet will ruin the relationship.

  • I'm afraid I agree with your final assessment. In the end, its not prudent to choose our life partner based on who was the best in bed. Sexual compatibility is an important consideration, but most of the people I know who made it their primary criteria in spousal selection ended up divorced. Sometimes the memory of the best sex you ever had in your life has to be sequestered away in the corners of your mind...you can revisit them in your fantasies...but they are very difficult to duplicate. But hey girl, don't stop trying! ;-)

  • You only remember it as so good because you can't have it anymore. Think back: It surely was good, but can really nobody else ever beat it? I doubt. Part of good sex is also the relation between him and you (and that's why I only sleep and slept with my wife - it's by the way really mindblowing).

    In the end ypu have to answer the question, why sex is everything you kept in such good memory.