How to hook up for the first time?

Okay so I am 18 and a senior in high school. I am also a virgin and have never had any kind of sex before. My friend at school has hooked me up with this guy on Facebook and he is taking me out Friday. We have been texting and messaging for a few days and I found out that he wants to hook up. When he texted me saying that he wanted to try things with me, I told him I had no experience. He said he would show me. I freaked out and asked my friend about blow jobs and other stuff. I am scared because I wanna try with him but what if I make a total fool of myself? I think this guy is cute and I wanna hook up with him but I have no idea what to do and how far to go with him.i have never met this guy before and I have also never had sex before. Should we just make out ? (I have also never made out before) or should we try oral sex or just touching? I'm scared. Please give me advice on what I should do. I also don't wanna seem like I'm an easy girl. The date is this Friday and I need as much advice as I can get
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Most Helpful Guys

  • IMO, you need to take things slow. Going from 0 to 100 in one night is a bit much, don't you think?

    My recommendation would be:

    First 2 weeks or 3 dates, whichever is longer: nothing more than making out/second base.

    Next 2 weeks/3 dates: handjobs/fingering.

    Next 2 weeks/3 dates: oral.

    Then, and only then, should you try sex.

    Obviously, feel free to adjust the timelines to match your actual circumstances, but you don't need to be in such a rush. Sex will be much, MUCH better for both of you, but especially for you, if you are relaxed and comfortable with him, and have built up some trust with him first. Do NOT let him pressure you into quick and easy sex just because he wants it; that's the best way to get used for sex and then dumped. If you stretch out the time as I suggest, there's plenty of time to abort the plan if he turns out to be a jerk.

    You say you are scared, which means you clearly aren't ready. You have to crawl before you can walk, much less before you try to run a marathon. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, or let him pressure you. Talk to him and give him YOUR expectations (a rough schedule like I wrote above, though you don't need to give him exact timelines, just a rough outline), and make it clear that you won't be moving to the next step until you are comfortable doing so, and that you need to know that he really cares.

    You're plenty old enough to have sex if you want to, but you're also old enough to realize that sex comes with lots of potential problems and responsibilities too, so it's important to have the rest of your relationship up to par before you add sex to the mix, or things can get messy, even disastrous, very quickly. As the girl, you have STDs and pregnancy to think about too, so you need to know something about the guy before you just jump into bed with him.

    • Thanks for you're wisdom. This helped alot

    • Happy to help.

  • Just because this guy is 'cute' and is being really nice to you doesn't mean that you owe him anything or that you should be contemplating sexual activities on your first date with him when you don't really know him and have never met him before! I mean you might not even like the guy? He may just be wanting to take advantage of you and your lack of experience? How do you not know that he hasn't been with loads of other women and worst case scenario, has some kind of STD?

    If you like the sound of this guy, then I really think you need to date him a few times and get to know him a little better before you take things as far as being sexual with him. Yes, share a kiss if the date goes well, but get to know him a little better before it goes any further than that! I hope this helps you and that you have a good date! keep safe and good luck! :o)

    • Thank you so much for sharing your view and being concerned for me. My friend told me that he has been with a lot of girls and that he isn't looking for a relationship with me. She said he just wants to hook up, so you are right . I heard he has been with a lot of other girls. So it's true he might have an STD and he might not care about me later on

    • You're most welcome! :o) Yeah, so he sees you as just another girl that he can 'hook up' with, have a bit of fun and then move onto the next! He may have an STD or something like that and if he's only wanting a bit of 'fun', he's very unlikely to care about you once he's got what he wants from you! Please be very careful and make sure that you get to know guys and date them for a while before you start taking things further... Look after yourself first and don't give yourself away easily! :o)

Most Helpful Girls

  • I might wait until you meet someone you know you love before you have sex. Normally I would say get married first, but at least make sure you love them.

    Sex is very down rated now, but once you give your virginity away, you can never take it back.

    • Yeah you're right. Should I just kiss and make out with him

    • You should wait until you meet him before you even decide to do that. Chatting on Facebook and meeting someone in person are two different things. You may find that you're not even comfortable with him after you meet him. But if you do, stick to making out, and don't let him pressure you into doing something you're uncomfortable with.

  • If you do something on the first date, you're going to appear easy to most guys.

    Why do you feel the need to rush into everything so quickly instead of taking smaller steps? Is there a reason?

    • Yeah because I wanna show the guy I'm experienced and I wanna turn him o

    • But you're not experienced you said. So why would you want to appear like something you're not? Do you think guys will like you more if you're 'experienced'? If that's the case, it's actually false. Pretty much all of my guy friends complain how 'easy' girls are nowadays. They will sleep with them though. But afterward, they usually just throw them away. It's sad, it's cruel, but it's reality. So please think about that before you do something you may regret. I wish you the best. <3

    • Thank you. I will DEFINTELY put more thought into it

    • Show All
  • How could you have sex with someone you have never met in person? You don't know if they have any std's ! That is so wrong ! Seriously , have some love and respect for yourself.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Check out Laci Green on YouTube. She is really helpful

  • OMG! Don't go on the date and unfriend this person that hooked you up with this guy. I realize you are only 18 and I'm sure you and this guy have raging hormones but you are SO young, there is plenty of time for you to do all those things and more but just wait and do it with someone you actually know and have feelings for. If you go out with this guy and do things with him the chances are he'll never call you again and if he does it will be just to get more favors from you. Really think about all this. Best of luck to you.

  • If you don't want to seem easy then you should probably avoid doing any of that on the first time you've ever actually met the guy... Especially anything beyond kissing. As for when you want to actually try sex or oral, there will be a point when you don't know exactly what you're doing and the only way to feel more comfortable about it and to learn how to do it, is by actually doing it. Yes it could be good or bad, but that's how it is.

    • So maybe I should just stick with kissing/making out?

    • I think sticking to making out is a great idea. You may someday decide that you want to hook up, but it sounds like now is not the right time for you to make that decision.

    • Ok thank you

  • There is no reason to try to make him think you're experienced, since most guys find it hot if you're inexperienced.

    Its normal that he's eager to hook up.

    Do you want a boyfriend, or just to fool around?

  • Own your desires. Never be ashamed of going after what you want in life.

    If those pics are you, you've got this covered. Just pick the guy you want, tell him exactly what you want and the odds are he'llbe honored to provide it.

    I'm not joking.

    Stay safe, only ever do what you WANT to do in bed, and above all, have fun doing it. Welcome to adulthood! :)