I slept with him on the first date... but we are still dating.

I met this guy through a friend of mine. We exchanged numbers and we talked on the phone regularly before we decided to go out on a date. We went to dinner and then came back to his place to watch a movie. Everything was great and we ended up sleeping together...I have never done this before! I have only had sex with one guy before him, and he was my fiance and we had been together for six years. After it happened we both talked about it and we both said we never expected that to happen...but it just did. He called me right after I got home and he's been still calling me ever since. We have gone out since then also. I have kind of taken an "indifferent" attitude and I have not shown any type of clingy-ness towards him...Kind of like making him think that I'm the one that's in control of the situation. We have not had sex again since then, even though he tries! LOL I just want to know what anyone thinks about this situation? As a man, what would you think of me? As a woman, what would you do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I highly disagree with sex on a first date, unless it's planned ahead and your feelings are shielded. Having sex with a guy on a first date is like saying "yes, now think of me as easy and forget studying anything else about me".

    If you don't think I'm right about that, how do you explain his trying to sleep with you again? Give a child his first piece of chocolate and he will become oblivious to everything else, as all he wants now is chocolate. It's the same situation with a man. I'd suggest withholding sex and seeing just how interested he really is in you. Likes/dislikes, career plans, and the little things that make you... well you. If he keeps initiating sex, then it's obvious your at a lost cause. Please refrain from sex on a first date if you really want something legit from a guy. What you'll only have on your hands now is a horny oath with little to any goals except sex.

    Don't get me wrong, it's very possible to develop feelings AFTER a first night meeting of sex. But the chances are far less. And it becomes painfully obvious if you made a mistake or not.

    • Oh I agree with you! That's what I've been doing...holding off on sex. I just felt very stupid for giving in...but at the same time I wanted it. I hadn't been with anyone in more than a year since I broke up with my ex and I've got to admit subconciously I was craving it as well. I honestly have no expectations. I'm just gonna see how things go.

  • That's fine if it happened naturally and you both wanted it. Sex doesn't always need to be wrapped up in emotions and relationship dogma.

    If you are looking for a relationship then you lucked out because this guy got the goods and is still coming back for more.

    However don;t get too cocky. Don't lead him along too much. Its good that you aren't being clingy and its fine to enjoy a little bit of cat and mouse but all relationships have to develop and move on sooner or later so prioritise getting to know him and being in the relationship rather than the silly games of dating.

    Hope it works out for you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • If he's mature, he won't be making too big of a deal out of it. Sex is just a part of life. It happens. Anyway, if he's that judgmental that the two of you having sex early on is going to change how he treats or thinks of you, than that's not the sort of relationship you want anyway. If you want to wait before having sex with him again, tell him. If he's still persistent in trying to have sex with you, I would seriously consider not seeing him again! If you do, than that's great, make him work. And by work I mean work on your body lol. Seriously though, the time you have sex with a guy isn't going to make that much difference in the long-run.

  • In my opinion it's best to wait at least until the 4th date to have sex with a guy but I'm dating a guy right now with whom I waited almost three months to have sex with and he's not playing his cards right. There is not a perfect formula of when to have sex. Hey, we aren't perfect and things happens sometimes. I think you are doing the right thing by not being clingy but women need commitment and exclusivity after we have sex especially if we like the person. If he is smart he will ask you to see him exclusively. In my opinion you should wait to hear that from him before you have sex with him again.

  • Keep doing what you're doing. Just don't become clingy and just be yourself, he obviously likes you. It's not so bad that you slept with him on the first date and nobody should judge you for it. Just do what feels right.

    • ?... Yes he obviously likes her, and he's obviously horny. There's a difference though.

    • If that is all he wanted he could get it from somewhere else. She said she hasn't given it up since and he still sticks around. Obviously he likes more then just the sexual part of her.

    • Or that he can't get it anywhere else...

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Seems to me you're doing something right! I'd keep doing what you're doing and see how it goes from there. Keep going on dates and all..show some interest but not too much that he thinks you're in love with him. (no guys I'm not telling her to play games) See if he sticks around after not giving him any again for a LONG time...

  • The fact that you slept with him on the first date is perfectly fine. If you wanted to and felt it was right then there should be absolutely no judgment in that.

    Do what you feel is best but there's no need to try and control him. Let things develop naturally.

  • If you are comfortable with your decision to sleep with him then that's fine, at the end of the day its up to you if he continues to call and such he probably does like you a lot but if you wanna make sure hold out on sex for a little bit and see if he sticks around if he does then he cares about you and it will make you feel more at ease about sleeping with someone so quickly.

    best of luck :)

  • I dated a girl for a year and a half. The same girl who I ended up sleeping with on the first date. -funny, we also watched a movie at her place and we just kinda ended up having sex. She also said that she never does that, and she wasn't quite sure how it happened with me. ( I believed her too, and still do for good reason). We also talked regularly on the phone prior to the date.

    If you like him enough to have a relationship with him, then just let him know. There is no point in playing around or playing hard to get because you already have been together.

    As a guy I wouldn't think any less of you, not if you portray yourself with dignity and integrity and not like you sleep with every guy you meet. (I'm sure you don't but just saying :) I had profound respect for my Ex Girlfriend and we had sex on the first date. Sp if there is chemistry, and you like each other then go for the gold! (lol) Good luck!

  • it happens. I don't think it's my ideal. I would try to date a guy for a long time before anything like that happens.

    I definitely would almost think that's all he wanted; the good thing is though, he's dating you and it sounds like he wants a relationship.

    so

    definitely keep being 'indifferent' but if it helps, talk about it and see how he feels about the situation.

    i'd try to avoid it but be grateful that he didn't just leave you because it's a very dificult situation.