I'll be honest.
Waiting for marraige -- It wouldn't be a dealbreaker with me, but it would weigh down really heavy on the relationship. I believe that you have to be in love to have sex, but you don't have to be married to be in love. I'm not a religious person, so maybe that has something to do with it.
But since it would weigh so heavy on the relationship, the girl would have to be extra special to make me want to continue the relationship if I have to wait until marriage to have sex. I'd think we'd have to have virtually everything in common and a way to ease sexual tension to take the weight off, like cuddling, making out, and most of the stuff they teach you in high school for abstinence ("outercourse/clothes on," for example).
Since virtually all men are heavily influenced by sexual feelings (what they say about a man has a sexual thought every five minutes or so is TRUE), it will be extremely difficult to find someone who will not be sexual.
What I really want to tell you though is that the guy who forced himself on you is a jerk, and might have traumatized you to dislike sex to an extent. What I think would be more realistic, and it might be tough, is find a nice, attractive guy that will care about you for the way you are, and experience some sexual chemistry with him--if he really cares about you, he'll know you're really sensitive about this and will respect you and take it slow, and it will be an experience that's a lot nicer and much more pleasant than what happened with the guy that tried to rape you. And if it goes all the way, that's ok and it's not the end of the world (just make sure to use protection).3 0 0 0Its a good way to find a good guy, it shows he likes you for who you are, and not because you give him what he wants. If I like a girl, I don't care about waiting for sex... infact I don't even mind if she never wants to have sex. I'd not give up on someone who I think is amazing for some silly selfish craving (its not even a physical need) so I could live without it if that's what it would take. I know you are just waiting until marriage, I guess I'm just trying to point out what I (and perhaps some guy) would go to, for someone they love. :)
5 0 1 4This is probably coming from someone who is terrified of sex and has convinced himself that it's not important because he was either never able to initiate it. so what happens when a guy like this finally gets married? perhaps he'll love his wife even more and go through that experience with the love of his life... or maybe he'll understand what he was missing out on and decides it was just the mystery that made him so fond of her. this is not a black and white issue, it's very personal
Nah I'm not terrified of it, its just not number one on my list... If she wants to wait I'm not going to force her into it, I'd be able to initiate when she is ready, making initiation when she doesn't want it is not something you want to be doing.
There should be more people like you :)
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I know you posted this a while back, but I wanted to share a story from when I was younger. (I was younger than you, so it kind of doesn't apply, but it can show both "sides" of the situation.)
I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, and on my second date I went out with a guy who was 19. I'd know him for a while, but we'd never been alone together until then. After the date, he wanted me to "take care of his business" for him in the car in my driveway. I refused, and he didn't call me again. Well, the next weekend he took out a friend of mine who did give in and sleep with him, and surprise - he never called her again either. Like others have said, the ones like that aren't worth your time. You stick with what your heart tells you. BTW, I am not religious, so that had nothing to do with my decision that night. I did not wait until marriage, but I knew at that time that I wasn't ready and for him to ask me to do that when he knew I just started dating told me he wasn't the right one either.0 1 0 0i know you asked this a month ago but I was looking for something and found it - yes it is possible something very similar happened to me, and when I met my boyfriend we really liked each other he asked me if I waned to go have sex, I was terrified to tell him but I had to - that I was a virgin and wasn't comfortable having sex now or soon probably not even until I was married. I thought there was no way in hell he'd stay, but he proved me wrong he stayed that nice and for about two years so far, It is possible :)
if its that important don't do anything until you are comfortable, with your reasons they should respect your choice, if they don't they are the wrong guy1 0 0 0Simple answer is yes you will. Not all guys are sex-mad :P and there are men out there who just like you would rather wait until marriage, maybe you're just looking in the wrong places. A guy should never ever disrespect you and tell you what you should and shouldnt believe, if you want to wait until marriage to have sex then that's your right, if he loves you enough then he too would wait for you :)
Don't give it up to anybody just because you think he may leave you if you don't sleep with him. If he's not willing to wait then he's not the right guy for you :)
Good luck
xoxox0 1 0 0
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4 14For some guys, yes, it is a deal breaker.
For some guys, no,it's not.
Stick to your conviction. The guys that it is a deal breaker for are not worth your time.4 1 0 0Waiting is a good way to weed out the bad ones. Waiting til your married though might be a bit much especially if youve had sex with someone before,its a little hard to understand for a guy and he might be insulted.
3 1 0 1The answer is YES!
You wouldn't believe how many men out there are looking for a woman just like you!
Stay pure and stick close to God. Your body is a gift, a special gift. You will not believe how staying pure will impact your life for the better. I could go on and on. Gt involved with your church and seek out guys who feel the same way as you do. Trust me, they are there!
God bless you.3 1 1 0i'm glad to know that I am not the only one waiting. I would say that waiting is the right thing to do. you will soon find someone with your own interests too. it's just a matter of time.
2 1 0 0That makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one too :) guys who are willing to wait as long as it takes are few and far between though
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, too. Everyone on here seems to think I'm stupid and too religious for waiting. Yes, I am a Christian, and I love God. God designed sex, and he designed it for marriage. But in addition to that, why would I give myself away to someone I'm who hasn't made vows to me at the altar, to be faithful to me unto death? No one seems to understand that. They just tell me that kind of stuff just happens in fairy tales.
"God designed sex, and he designed it for marriage." And God told you that, of course. You must have a fascinating life. XD
I understand what your saying and I believe that there isd a guy out there for you but you will have more stupid people to go throught than other girls. If it's what you believe stick to your guns and wait until you find the right guy for you. I wish you then best of luck.
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