Losing virginity pain.....

well basically my boyfriend really wants to have sex and to be honest so do i, the only thing is that I'm still a virgin and I've never even fingered myself so I'm probably epically tight :/ the hole in my hymen looks really small and I'm pretty small for a 17 year old plus he is pretty big (penis wise) what do I do to reduce the amount of pain and should I be scared ?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'll post this standard recommendations once more:

    Just do NOT plan a "I-lose-my-virginity-evening or -day"

    -Do it with a guy you love and who loves you.

    -Let it happen gradually, doing more and more , gradually discovering and exploring each others' mind and body, pushing limits over a period that can take months:

    Making out, then light fingering, oral, heavy fingering, until you're both completely familiar with the other one's body and reactions, likes and dislikes, limits.

    Then one day, unplanned, when you're BOTH really in the mood, both relaxed, really wanting and horny, on birth control and using condoms, Morning After Pill ready in a drawer (in case of a Friday evening accident -accidents happen on Friday evenings before a long Easter weekend, all pharmacies closed- Murphy's Law) and no one possibly disturbing you (switch off those cell phones!) then softly go all the way: one finger, then 2 fingers (3= girth of the penis) Just that little bit more than the evening or week before.

    It will probably not hurt that way.

    The first time will not be fantastic but the next times will be.

    Success!

    For most girls it does NOT really hurt IF the guy is caring.

    My wife described it as 'a slight burning, soon forgotten'.

    Don't forget to lock the door and to switch off those cell phones!

    If you're not relaxed enough and if it's legal in your state, a glass of white wine can help a lot and, yes, I tasted American wines from California: they're quite tasty.

    (don't get drunk!)

    In short: just 'let it happen' gradually, bit by bit, as the relation with the guy you love grows more intimate, taking the necessary precautions.

    For guys:

    Thus be sure you get her hornier than she's ever been, really wanting to do it right at that moment, without any hesitation in her mind and very relaxed.

    Is it necessary to add that there never will be 'too much' foreplay for first time sex?

    I posted this already

    link

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    • (NO, this does NOT mean that every girl wants to go through childbirth every time she makes love !



    • Once more : USE CONDOMS!

      Why? The statistics re against those who don't use them:

      Quarter of teen girls have a sex-related disease| Reuters:

      link

      Half of teen girls have STIs by 2 years of first sex | Reuters

      link

      By the way, a vagina can stretch enough to let a baby pass

  • You should not be scared! You should have fun! If it's too big and it does not work first time around, laugh it off. You'll try again. No big deal. On practical side, use lubricant. It's all. It will work. :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well it's going to hurt regardless of anything you do. I think you should start fingering yourself before you have sex to try to loosen yourself up a bit. Take a couple tylenol or ibuprofen before the act, it might not hurt as much then.

    You can't really avoid the pain all together though, it kinda just comes with the whole losing your virginity thing. You will also bleed so don't be alarmed with that either. I actually bled my first three times. But after that I was fine.

    If you are scared then plain and simple, you aren't ready. You shouldn't be scared to have sex with your boyfriend if you love and trust him. It's normal to be a little nervous but if you're scared then you're just not ready. You should really think about this and make sure it's what you really want. Because after you give it away, you can't get it back. Make sure this is the guy you want to lose it to and that he's a good guy. So just think about it. Hope this helped:)

    • omg Did it hurt the first three times? D:

    • yes it did Lol

    • A lot don't feel pain and a lot do. You'll have to see for yourself which one you are lol If you've been using tampons for the past few years you're likely over the hymen obstacle but there will still be stretching that you'll feel.

  • You can't avoid being in pain ! Perhaps if you're a sporty girl but still.. As long as it happens on your will, all you'll remember is that it was a beautiful moment, which you shared with the one you love ;)

    • I read many girls who had no pain. (my wife just felt 'a slight burning', she said)

    • You are right, many girls don't feel anything ! What I meant was there is nothing she can do make the pain go away, like medicines or brand new painless condom ;).. She will have to deal with it. Plus, if he is a virgin too, she won't be in pain for a long time ahah :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Prepare yourself a bit by fingering. Have a seriously long foreplay where he uses his fingers and mouth on you before his penis. And use some lubricant to be safe.

  • try a lubricant.

    and try fingering a bit. I'll hurt less while having sex

    • and try fingering A LOT.

  • Do anal since that will stretch to accommodate his size.

    • nice suggestion but anal really isn't my thing...

    • Anal sex isn't healthy for different reasons:

      -Bacterium's living an being absolutely necessary in the intestines can cause havoc elsewhere in the body (vagina, mouth, stomach)

      -There's a risk of rectal prolapse link for both girls and bottom guys.

      -For a bottom guy, if his prostate is hit at a moment he as an even tiny infection there, the infection COULD spread over the whole body, causing sepsis (bacterial or viral blood poisoning )

    • holy sh*t. I am never ever ever having anal sex ever. Ever ever ever. that is horrifying.

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