Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
My boyfriend told me I need to look more like a porn star?
Anonymous
We were flipping through the channels when we were bored and Sasha Grey was on the Tyra Banks show. So my boyfriend turns to me and tell me "she's actually my favorite." OK. So not a big deal - I've seen her films as well... But now he's been making more and more comments about how she does her makeup, and how her ass looks, and how long her hair is, etc. We were both in the middle of making out and we started fooling around and he stopped me and asked me to go do my makeup like hers. WTH. He's asked me to wear my hair extensions to bed before. He's told me a need to go to the gym to work on my ass. I actually have a nice ass. I weight 115 and I don't really know what the hell else I need to do to have her "perfect ass." I'm on my university's track team so I'm in shape. I'm actually heartbroken. I am not her. I never will be her. I will never be LIKE her. That's just not who I am or what I look like. I though pron was supposed to be separate from a guy's girlfriend? What do I do?
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks everyone who responded with a serious answer. I really appreciate it. I just needed some reassurance that this was not normal, or w/e. How do I talk to him about this? How do I bring it up? How should I phrase things? Etc. Again- thanks!
+1 y
Thanks everyone - girls and guys! I know we're all pretty much strangers here, but I feel a little better. So thanks. I'm going to talk to him next week and just lay out what an asshole he's been and go from there.
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What Girls & Guys Said
32 27All I can say is he is a major di**. Dump him and tell him to grow up. That is just wrong and I am sorry for you. You need to be with a guy that likes you for who you are.
I wish my boyfriend was robert pattinson but I'm not gonna constantly bring that up. you should leave him, his behavior is unacceptable. He's being disrespectful and he obviously isn't happy with you as you are
He doesn't like you.
that is totally disrespectful, dump him and say I wish you looked more like ron jeremy(or insert another male pornstars name)
stop whining and f*** him like a porn start...then maybe he won't be so bored and will stop watching other people f***!
He asked her to look like one not act like one
Read the question before you answer
You are letting him get to you, and I think that may be what he is trying to do. Next time he makes comments about her, humor him. Ask if you can blindfold him and tie him up like you saw her do in one of the videos. That suggestion may stop his behavior right there.
Or you can comment on what an intelligent person she is, agree that she has pretty hair, and so on without letting it bother you.
My gentleman friend did something similar by comparing me to another girl in town, and what I did was agree with him. I said what a nice person I thought she was, no competition, she isn't me and I'm not her. The only thing you can do when someone compares you to someone else is be secure enough in who you are to stop letting them get to you.
She shouldn't bother with that, he is disrespecting her. I don't think trying new exercises in bed would solve that problem.
wow what a douche bag.
dont change yourself, its really messed me up and if I've ever regreted anything that would be it.
Oh my gosh Sasha grey looks like a TROUBLED TEENAGER. that's not hot!
Don't change a thing, he probably just wants to have fun with it, he probably figures it's easy enough to recreate how she looks and he's just bold enough to ask you to dress like her. But don't, it's ok to be yourself! If he's normal he'll get over it and he'll only get over it when you continue to be yourself.
HAAHah he has a favorite?
i would dump him
you so deserve much better then that!
It's one thing for a guy and a girl to talk together and have some fun role playing fantasies in sex, but what he is doing is not consensual. Frankly he is treating you like a sex toy, not a girlfriend. Hopefully talking to him will get him to his senses. The gym comment makes me think maybe he won't though. I agree, you will never be her, but then again, she will never be you.
Why is he campering you to a f***ing hoe. what an asshole.
Sasha Grey is not a hoe. She's very well educated, and takes her job very seriously. She's an actress, not a wh0re. She doesn't trade sex for money. She films pornographic movies. Don't confuse the two.
Shes deffenetley a HOE to me, hahah so you'r trying to tell me a girl who goes around f***ing dudes and sucking thier cocks int a hoe. BULLSHIT!
That's exactly right. the word "hoe" is an abbreviation of the word "wh0re", which is synonymous for "prostitute". the two conditions of a "hoe" are as follows: 1. he/she will not have sex, unless they are paid with something of value, or; 2. when they are paid with something of value, he/she will have sex when either of those two conditions is satisfied, the person, guy or girl, is a prostitute (wh0re, hoe). Sasha Grey is neither. She's an actress, not a prostitute.
Ok teacher . ROFL
I don`t know what the technical definition of "whore" is, but I know that these days the word is definitely used to describe people of the non-prostitute variety. I wouldn`t be at all surprised if that was actually part of the definition.
Yep. "A person considered sexually promiscuous."
Yep that's true f*** him leave him alone!
your boyfriend should be acceptinq and lovinq you for who you are ..inside&out . he should eccept your flaw's & all's . because every qirl has flaw's..trust me cause I do too.
..if he can't accept the way you look inside & out; then maybe he isn't that "boyfriend" you thouqht he would be..& you should talk to him about it;; because if he can't accept you how you are ;; you got to find someone that loves you for you..
I hope I helped.
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Thanks. Yeah, I understand that but the thing is that he's ALWAYS been a sweetheart. He does lots of nice things for me and he used to be incredibly respectful. I feel like he's a completely different person right now. So for me he is "that" boyfriend. I know he loves me and cares about me but he's definitely not acting like it at all right now.
explain to him how this makes you feel. either he'll stop, or you need to dump him and move on. normal guys don't up and tell their girl they need to be more like a porn star.
he picked an awful one for you to look like too..she's not hot at all
Yeah. I have this feeling though that even if he stops being such an asshole that ill still feel bad about myself. maybe you don't think she's hot but apparently he thinks she's a goddess. I can't even feel good about myself anymore cause ill know he doesn't like me like I am.
It's hard to hear any guy say something to inconsiderate to their girl..i cannot fathom what in his mind made him think it's ok to say the stuff he does. I can understand that he thinks she's hot or something, but to suggest YOU need to work on yourself to make you look like her is ridiculous. sit him down and let him know you guys need to discuss this. you need to address it sooner than later or it'll continue to fester in your mind and heart
We've always been REALLY open and honest and outspoken about everything in our relationship. And its been a couple years so he probably said it because he's comfortable with me - but it was still really hurtful! Thanks, I'm going to try and talk to him about it, I'm still a little iffy about what to say.
Tell him you have something to get off your chest that's been really bothering you lately and go from there. he needs to know that you don't appreciate the comments he's been making about you needing to look like his porn star girl and it's really been hurting your feelings. I do think your boyfriend finds you attractive but for some reason he's gotten caught up in the porn fantasy and finds her attractive as well
I smell a troll post. I can't imagine any guy saying that.
Just because you don't find it believable doesn't make me a liar. And I really need some help. We've been together for a couple years and he's always been the sweetest guy ever.
Anonymous user (= potential troll?): You maybe can't imagine it because you are probably such a guy... except for the sweetest guy ever part. Guys can and do say such things... to really great girls... then don't get why the girl is upset.
43, huh? When will you kids figure out that the immaturity of your comments gives away your lies about your age...