My boyfriend wants me to dance for him?

Question

i told him I danced hip-hop when I was younger, and then he asked me if I would dance for him and I said no because I don't like dancing in front of people and it makes me self-conscious, also my mom used to force me to dance, like literally would beat the sh*t out of me if I didn't preform well, or didn't want to dance, and I told him all this and why it makes me uncomfortable. but he kept pressing...then said he'd want me to "dance sexy" and lap dance...i said I'm nervous and don't want to and I feel like he is just being sleezy and horny but he keeps trying to be all "but you're beautiful...i love everything you do...i want you to trust me, not be embarassed in front of me, express yourself" and although I understand he wants me to "trust" him I don't get why he keeps pressuring me even though I said no, its just so disrespectful and its making me really upset.

sockz · Accepted Answer

he wants to share fun times with you. sure he's taking the wrong approach with all this pressure, but maybe its because he doesn't know how else to persuade you. from what you wrote I don't think he's intentionally trying to upset you.

yes. bad things happened in the past and they were unreasonable. but if you let those negative experiences shape who you are, then you may as well give up a part of yourself.

take whatever approach you feel is best, include him in it if you want, but find a way to be happy with dancing again. take your time and don't expect results overnight. the important part is to keep at it because you need to create a bunch of happy memories to override the bad ones you have know. otherwise dancing will always be associated with bad times.

NicoleBanks3 · Accepted Answer

If your boyfriend is pressuring you about anything, it's a bad sign. Especially something sexual like this. It shows he doesn't respect you or the fact that you don't want to do it. He might think his badgering is harmless, but it isn't. It shows a side of him where he treats you like a sexual object rather than his girlfriend. Tell him exactly what you told us. Say that you aren't comfortable dancing for him right now and his constant pressuring is not helping his cause, it's making it worse. You have to be firm about it. You don't want to come off as a bitch or unwilling to please him. Your boyfriend needs to respect you when you don't want to do something.