My Girlfriend never wants to fool around.

[smichaels0731]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year and a half. We have become best friends. We are neighbors back home and are in College. We don't really hang out with anybody anymore except each other. I'll be straight forward. We never fool around. We used to, however, a lot. For me, as a guy, it's not just about the sex and/or whatever other stereotypes that guys are attributed to sex with. It's obviously much more than that and makes me feel a lot more intimate and closer to her. Now, I know it is a psychological thing for her (maybe even a chemical thing). She doesn't feel pretty very much (even around me,) I have seen her, at this point in the relationship, with no clothes on or anything many times and yet she has trouble getting comfortable. She is also tired at night a lot (or says she is). She definitely refuses to take a shower with me. She is not confident with her body at all. She is also too lazy to go work out. When we do fool around, it's always me who initiates it all. If I never try, it never happens. This leads me to try more often to see if she wants to because she never tries on me. This can be annoying for both of us. I have talked to her about it many times, and it usually ends up in an argument. We might have sex the next day after that but then it goes back to square one where I am the only person who wants to have sex. I have tried many different approaches, even candlelight and wine while relaxing in front of the TV. She always says the same thing. She just doesn't want sex or feels like she wants to get into it. Anybody have any thoughts? Thanks a lot for your input!

[alisamilligan]

she feels insecure you need to start complimenting her make her feel good about herself she really likes you but she feels like you don't notice her as much or she might just have that problem like everyone sees she is ugly or whatever oh and the workout thing she might be embaressed to workout in front of you or she feels that you wanting her to workout with her that she is fat or you are saying that and trying to get her in shape like she is not good enough just give her the option tell her if she wants to but she does not have to she is perfect the way she is.ok you start all the sexual foreplay the reason she does not start the foreplay has a lot to do with how she feels about herself if she feels ugly or fat or anything she does not feel she can turn you on and she would feel she would look dumb trying to or she does not feel she can or she is just not sexy like me I'm OK with starting it sometimes I'm like your girlfriend but us girls we like when the guys make moves it makes us feel wanted we want guys to start because we feel if we start we think what if he is not in the mood or is he feeling me tonight you know things like that if you want her to start try and make her feel good by touching her but not sexual kiss her hug her talk to her about what she is feeling do what you are doing now but listen to her and try to see what she feels really it works I love it when men make moves!

[smichaels0731]

Hey, thanks for your advice! I have to add that I always tell her that she looks gorgeous, (I may even do it too much if there is such a thing). I don't tell her she needs to work out or any of that. The most I may occasionally do is ask her if she would like to come play racquetball with me or something in which she declines. We practically live together at the apartment I have (she moved in) so we are around each other constantly.

[Cremiux]

try getting out. friends are impotent too, not just each other...go hang out with good friends let her do the same.