Sexual Health
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My guy says he wants to watch me touch myself because it turns him on? ...

BUT, I find this idea very daunting and get very shy and nervous when he asks me to do this in front of him. He's the kind of man who knows exactly what he likes, but I came into this relationship very inexperienced and I'm still discovering what I like. To be honest I've never really got off on masturbating on my own even, and I've never been able to reach orgasm by myself... I feel guilty because he's made it clear he want to watch me but I feel like there's a pressure to perform and I just falter and go shy every time. I really love him but I'm worried he will get frustrated at me but I really can't help being shy, I just am, and while it turns him on I really struggle. just any advice at all?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • There's the question of loving you enough to back off countered by loving you enough to want to share erotic love.

    You certainly won't get off when feeling pressured, nor will this be a great show that turns him on, nor reach the desired erotic level.

    What's need is you being able to influence him in guiding you through this foreign trail. Perhaps he can offer videos, stories, massage books - even hands on help.

    If he simply orders such a performance, then this might be classified as bondage role playing - way too advanced for you - but maybe fun later on in your experiences. Explain that to him, expecting a loving answer.

    Not working out after serious efforts on your part to get him on board? Maybe someone else might suit you better as a guide & lover.

  • This is an issue with a lot of women. From what I understand, for some women this is the most intimate act - and because they almost always do it alone ... it feels weird to have a guy there, watching. I understand. How about offering a compromise where you will "pleasure yourself" for a short time and he will then help you finish off?

Most Helpful Girls

  • This type of thing should come naturally to you. If you're feeling shy about it, it means in my opinion you need to still get more comfortable with this guy and that you shouldn't do it. If he gets frustrated, it's bad on his side. If you're partner isn't comfortable with something, you must respect that so he HAS to respect you. Like you said, it's how you are and sooner or later after getting closer you should then naturally want to do kinky stuff like that. Don't put pressure on yourself, and don't force this. If will come when it should come.

  • sweety, if he likes it .. do it!

    lots of guys like kincky stuff ..but this guy only ask for a normall thing

    there are girls who like there biyfriends to do it too .. its easy

    also you don't have to be turned on by it ... his the one who likes it

    agin.. sweety we are girls.. just fake that you like doing this to your self and he will eat you alive ..

    Good luck

  • yeah honestly I can't do it either. It's sort of strange, I'd rather go to another room and masturbate and get off by myself then with him there. I'd feel kind of like he's being creepy or something... that's just me.

    • im honestly relieved I'm not the only one that feels like that. I want so badly to be able to do it for him but it just doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not the kinky type and knowing I'm being watched makes me really self conscious - I wish I knew how to shut it off!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you really want to please him in that way, build up to it. Practise on your own, watch some p*rn, read a romance novel, watch fight club, what ever you need to get into the mood, then do your best. Or you could compromise with him, make a video kinda like beautiful agony (google it), and flirtaciously give it to him. They are tasteful, and huge turn on.

  • Just tell him that you are not that comfortable yet to do this for him, if he asked why then tell him.. you never got off on touching yourself and plus your not that experienced and might be shy..

  • eh. just fake it ha ha :D

  • If you are in a stable intimate, trusting relationship, I would do this for him. I will place myself in his shoes and tell you what I would want.

    Keep the lights low. Take care of grooming (I do not prefer bald, just trimmed and shaped) and hygiene. Get into a comfortable position on the bed , knees up and spread. Use a little thin lotion (not silicone) if you tend to be dry.and let him watch closeup from below. Work yourself up as best as you can with a combination of rubbing at the clit and occasional finger thrusting. When you have gone as gar as you can, ask him to finish you with oral. Even if you don't have an orgasm, show enthusiasm and enjoyment, but not to the point of faking an orgasm. This should be a genuinely exciting, intimate experience.

    This should come easy to you and he/I will not expect and "performance" beyond what I described and the closeup view and pheromones in the air will do wonderful things for his enthusiasm to dive in..

  • Well, you need to practice. Nothing is sexier than watching another pleasuring themself. My girl is inexperienced in that department and I just help her out, she learns what she likes and watching her learn is a bigger turn on.

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