My hole is too tight.. but im not a virgin?

I have lost my vcard recently (very painful) and i thought sex would be easier after. doesn't seem so. He can't go in my hole because i think i tense up? But how did he pop my hymen then (well i think he pushed it in thats why)? I just expect the pain now and dont even want to have sex.. he can fit one finger easily.. i feel soo abnormal.. i got a dildo and lube but my god i can't imagine even another finger in my tight hole.. i feel soo embarrassed and stupid i am becoming very depressed over this.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Let's assume you're turned on enough... then the issue is probably that you need to relax, and go slower. Let's also assume he's well endowed. He should let you control the motion. Either you on top so you can move as you're comfortable, or him on top but he you pull on his hips when you're ready for it, then stop him when it starts to hurt.

    Also, if you're of legal drinking age, a drink or two (NOT to get drunk) can help relax you.

    • I dont know why everyone says go slow. Slow is too much suspense and I start drying up and tensing up.. this is all new to me

    • Maybe my hole is just too small?

    • It sounds like most people are more experienced than you, so maybe if everyone is telling you to try something, you should try it. If you start to "dry up" in that length of time then you're probably not turned on enough.

  • Wow tight vagina! Nice. Just get comfortable, use a vibrator on your clit to help you. Lots of foreplay. For some it hurts for several sex sessions. You just need to relax, get nice foreplay... oh some positions make it worse other positions make it better.

    • What positions are good? I found laying on my stomach is best. I find it very uncomfortable to completely open my legs.. dont know why.. whys tight good? Its too painful.

    • That's because you aren't comfortable. Some ladies like it deep hitting their cervix others can't handle it. Try a position where you can be in control how deep, angle and access to clitoris it'll help to relax you vaginal muscles. Tight is good many ladies go through surgery for the tightness you have. All vaginas are different just a all penis are different. Some vaginas are loose, tight, in between. Doggy with your legs closed, you on top you'll be in control, standing up from behind, missionary.

    • All vaginas stretch during sex and go back to normal afterwards.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I was very tight in the beginning and I still am. It will get better with time. I personally loved the pain and still do. I never say no to a man with a huge dick that will make it hurt. I know I'm weird!

    Just keep going at it with a dildo. Start with the smallest one you can find and when that's comfortable get the next size bigger. You're going to be just fine, consider it a blessing as most guys love a tight pussy.

    • I feel depressed tho. I avoid sex because of the pain.. I finally put a tampon in successfully, and got myself a middle sized dildo..

    • Don't be depressed. It will get better! Have you ever heard the expression "No pain, no gain"? Everyone has their cross to bear, everyone has something holding them back. You have to just work through the pain and don't lose sight of your goal. Sex is indeed a very pleasurable experience and soon you'll be enjoying it yourself. Have you tried a couple of drinks prior to having sex? It can help to relax you, let go of any inhibitions you may have and also helps mask the pain.

  • Hymens stretch during sex and shrink back down and/or heal if need be. It's normal but if you feel like something is wrong, see the gynecologist or get help from an advice nurse. Try doing other things for foreplay to encourage those parts of your body to relax and open up in preparation for sex.

  • There's no such thing as being too tight.

    You are either not lubricated enough or yes, you are tensing your muscles up and aren't relaxed enough.

    Sex can take time to become pleasurable. It has taken a good few times for me before it became amazing.

  • You need to relax . also when you're alone just finger and pull your perineum alittle towrds your bumhole thst woll help you relax your vagina for sex

    • How do I get 2 fingers in? Looks impossible. And how to relax?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Laci green is your friend.

    https://youtu.be/9qFojO8WkpA
  • You're stressed. Virgins aren't tight because they're untouched, but because they're nervous. You need to relax. The more you do it, you'll ease into it. You need to get more into foreplay. More lube.

    • How can I relax? The thought of something going inside of me scares me and i clench..

    • You need to focus on your mindset. Something may be subconsciously bothering you. Get in the moment. Only focus on the sex you're having. Get a drink, DO NOT GET INTOXICATED. Just loosen up if you think it'd help, but do not drink if you think you would over do it and end up at risk of being taken advantage off. Just do something that relaxes you. Take control of the situation if you think it'd help. That way you may feel like you can relax. But I really do think you just need more foreplay, and lube.

    • Our foreplay usually lasts 15 minutes with lots of lube. I get VERY aroused but when I know he's about to enter, my body tenses up. Ugh. I dont know how to relax.. thanks a lot

    • Show All
  • OK, how big is the dildo? Is it finger size more like cock size?
    Do you tense up before sex? Some people do and then the hole closes up.
    Maybe you need to relax a lot before sex, then have a lot of foreplay.
    Best I can offer.

  • 1. Be calm and relaxed
    2. Let him finger you slowly before in order to stretch you
    3. Take it slow and then slowly increase the pace