Sexual Health
+1 y

Sex on the first date-- why won't men respect no?

I love Eddie Murphy, I truly do, and one of the best stand up routines in his career, aside from Delirious, is RAW, but I have to say the one part where I got a bit peeved was when he implied that women withhold sex on the first date only to play with guys heads. Yes, Some women do that--as many men play games just to get " the drawers", but game players exist on both sides of the fence. It is also wholly true that women may not want to have sex early on for a whole host of REAL reasons. I don't know how many times I have a heard a man cry, "Women like sex like us, why won't they give it up?" only to hear that same guy call a girl who DID give it up an "easy whore" who he won't call again. You think a girl wants a reputation as a slut or easy--to be the kind of girl that men don't take seriously, won't call back or even consider as marriage material? Guys, Women can't be pure angels and have dirty sex too--it's either or. If you want an experienced woman who enjoys sex, why call her a whore? If you want a virgin, why try to get her in bed the first date, then call her a prude , a game player, cold or frigid if she doesn't comply? Besides, would you tell your sis or daughter to "give it up?" why not if it is so okay to do? Another thing -- women have to worry about pregnancy , men don't. How do I know, after only one first date, that you will be the kind of guy to stick around if that happens. Although men don't like to think about this annoying little fact, pregnancy can happen with or without protection. So, say I sleep with you on the first night and get knocked up. You don't stick around and there I am, left with three choices, abortion, Adoption or Birth--all of which have their own lists of repercussions., including, in the case of birth and abortion, risk of scarification and death which happens more times than people think And then who gets blamed. Me of course and dude is scott free. Female concerns in regards to first date sex are REAL not imagined. example--I knew a girl, a law student, smart , sexy and sweet who really liked a friend of mine-made the mistake of a first date sleep over. He didn't call her and she ended up feeling like a used idiot. Do you think she will make the same mistake again--no--but this time the guy will call her a "tease" or "frigid" Women can't win in this scenario. A woman's concerns can be valid and real, but men don't have to worry over them since he will be considered a "stud!"--it is up to the guy to decide if the woman in playing games. If she is sincere and you like her, respect her wishes, take it slow. If she trusts you bad feels as if you care about her wants and needs, you will have a far better relationship. If a man knows a woman wants to wait, why can't he simply respect it. If he can't--why can't he just move on to the next notch on his bedpost?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think this goes to the particular guy.

    Not all guys are after sex on the first date, and many would probably not respect it if they got it. After all they barely know you. Not to say that they would not go through with it, but it might keep them from calling again because they may feel like this is something normal for her, and they really are not looking for a girl like that.

    On the other hand, if a guy gets pissed about not getting to sleep with a woman after the first date, then I would say that's a great way for the girl to easily weed him out. He is probably only after one thing, and is probably not the type of guy that she is really interested in. So, don't worry about him, and be happy that you didn't have to go on 4-5 dates to figure out that he was a loser.

    I truly believe that women can have self respect and dignity, while at the same time being an absolute tiger in the bedroom. I just think that when it comes to first date sex, both sides (men and women) can learn a lot about their prospective partner from their relation to having 1st date sex or not having it.

    Honestly though, the majority of men do respect that women want to wait, and those who don't, I wouldn't even take the time to worry about.

    • I agree with you--it is just unfortunate that some people tie a woman's virtue into her sexuality--that isn't to say a woman should be an promiscuous idiot, but people should gleen the difference between immature sexuality and natural desire for sex...

  • Your question is bringing to mind lyrics from a Randy Travis song: "There's a constant contradiction - what feels good and what feels right. And you live with decisions that you make in your life."

    Morality isn't always about making easy decisions. Morality isn't about being able to run with the masses in whatever direction they're going. Sometimes morality requires a firm line in the sand and a refusal to compromise just because someone wants you to.

    • Very, very, very good point! Remember that ladies! Thank you!

    • Ya know some of these girls on here under 18 thinking they know everything about sex and relationships need to hear this stuff, because they think that everybody is sleeping with everybody first date or not. Some or most of them have no clue how to make decisions on their own, they just follow what the see on tv and other media and what the other kids at school are doing.

    • I agree with you completely Harrja5.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You are a dream come true when it comes to the voice of women!lol Thanks for putting it all in perspective!

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5

  • Oh I respect no. But I get all of that out of the way on the first date. I am not someone who likes to play games or drag things out. I am very straightforward and I like a straightforward woman. So I will ask her rather quickly if she finds me sexually attractive and I will reciprocate. If we have fun, get along, and are attracted, go for it! Life is short. Have fun!

  • I respect no, in fact I've rejected women who have tried to sleep with me on the first date/encounter.

    • can we chat please

    • Are you gay?

  • Well keep in mind, a lot of women make guys wait when she has given it out to other guys much quicker. And deep down he knows this, or suspects it. So when he is told to wait, he's gonna feel like you're not all that attracted to him. He'll be like, "She's given the box to all these other guys way sooner, and she's making ME jump through hoops and wait? Hell no!" So just keep that in mind the next time you wonder why guys have a problem with waiting.

    • Mostly true. I have seen complete whores making a dude wait, because she was confused about "having a relationship." But that didn't stop them from like 20 other dudes and they were very vocal and proud about it. It's an American problem. American women. Very entitled and very hypocritical. That's why I just get the facts out right away and on the first date I ask the hard hitting questions right away. I do not waste my time or money.

  • um... if the girl wanted to have sex then I would take her to hotel put her on the bed have sex that's not wrong and I don't know why you guys think it is

  • If he won't respect no, don't bother respecting him.

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