Sexual Health
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Sex toy etiquette - Toss them or reuse them?

This isn't a personal question, but someone else's question got me wondering what other people do. What do you think is proper etiquette when it comes to using sex toys you had during a previous relationship with a new partner? Do you think it's okay to use sex toys from a previous relationship provided they are sterilized? Are they okay to use as long as they were only used on you and not your ex? Or does the fact that they were used with your ex, even if it wasn't used directly on them, still matter? Does cost of the toy change anything (i.e. some sex toys can cost over $100 and would be harder to part with)? What if they are the types of toys that never come into contact with genitals (i.e. handcuffs)? Consider these questions in terms of sex toys that you used with your ex or sex toys that your new partner used with their ex.
It is never okay to use sex toys from a previous relationship with a new partner.
Vote A
It's sometimes okay, but not always (comment to explain what's acceptable and what isn't)
Vote B
It's fine to use sex toys from a previous relationship with a new partner, provided they are sterilized.
Vote C
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It would depend on the toy. My default rule is that the sex toy comes and goes with the partner (pardon the pun). Partly this is not to pass cooties, partly because I just find it a bit icky, and partly sentimental ("Ah, Ms. Rabbit..."). This assumes the toy can be reliably sterilized; if not, the matter is settled at the outset--her toys are hers.

    Expensive toys would mean a relationship of some depth and duration--the one-night stand does not merit the $300 leather hood. Depending on the relationship, it represents either an extravagant waste (it goes), or bittersweet memories of good times past (it stays).

  • why does having them during a past relationship matter? just keep them star ;)

    • Well, I didn't say how I felt about the matter, but I can see it bothering some people because of the idea that they're used (like, they might think it's gross), or because it's a reminder of things that their partner did with their ex.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You really can't sterlize a sex toy. Just wiping it off with some alchol will not do it. And possiblely boilling might work but I am not sure a toy could handle that for the amount of time with would take. I think it is okay if the toy was used on you by the ex partner but to reinsert a toy that was in an ex's vagina or anus without telling them where it had been is not really fair.

    • It depends on the material that the sex toy is made of. Rubber or jelly rubber are porous and thus cannot be sterilized, but silicone, metal, and glass toys can definitely be sterilized.

    • That is true about which ones can be sterilized and which can't but I think the real problem is that people think that clean is the same as sterile and there is a a big difference. But if they are actually sterilized then I think it would be fine.

  • Those things are expensive, I would reuse. Then again, I usually have my own to begin with. I remember one of my ex gfs and I had a fight over who got to keep what vibrators and dildos we bought together. lol Other than that I keep them!

  • No I wouldn't replace them as long as they are clean and useable.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • What's the big deal? It would be like asking, "I bought cloths with my ex, can I still wear them?"
    If a woman showed me her sex toys, I wouldn't ask her when she bought them. All I would think is, "Oh, I can't wait to use them on you!" Or, if you wanted to use them on me, I wouldn't complain.

  • Personal sex toys? I keep. Only I use them.

    Sex toys I used with my partner? I toss them out. I think they should be tossed.

  • It depends on the type of toy. If it is one he might have worn and used on you then probably not ok. Otherwise no big deal.

  • They are your toys, only enter you. Those toys that entered your partner, must leave with him. Sterilization of sex toys, unfortunately, isn't 100% safe. Unless you boil them in hot water, but that damages them, and you never know wjat bacteria is stuck there

  • I think that expecting freshly-bought, new toys in a relationship is like only having relationships with virgins just because a virgin is "untainted" or "new."

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