Why does he ALWAYS go soft when I'm on top?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I enjoy sex, a lot. Girl on top isn't something we do often though, and when we do, it becomes nearly impossible for me, and I feel bad like it's my fault. :/ Is it my fault? or is he just not into that necessarily? or is he already getting soft when we start this position & it's coincidental? And don't say "No one can answer you're question but him." Because that answers about 93% of questions on this site... Tips or other comments appreciated. :)

[posted]

Lol I know you don't want to hear it but that is the best option, it does answer most questions on this site lol but it is 'hard' to answer it. Wasn't intentional but see what I did there? Lol, in all seriousness I wouldn't be much help on this kind of matter but I would hope it is coincidental but that would mean he already finished, do you make a lack of noise when in that position? Maybe he doesn't get to see what he wants. You shouldn't feel bad he may not be into it, you can try to go about it casually and ask him if he likes it when your on top and if there's anything you can do to make it better.

[Asker]

I don't think it's necessarily me, because I feel like it's not enough time for him to get bored with me before he starts losing it! lol, I've had past sexual relationships, and I was just fine! It just makes me nervous & self conscious. Sometimes I make comments, and he blames himself, but.. idk!

[posted]

Awesome blocked out my link because I'm not lvl 4 and made me rewrite all this.. lol I found a link that may help pegym(dot)com/forums/erectile-dysfunction-forum/28273-erection-problems-when-girl-top.html Anyway don't feel self conscious about it, it's probably him if it has worked fine before. Read the link and ask him if he thinks you can do anything different to make it better for him. If he doesn't want to talk about it, it may be best not to pry if he feels sh*tty about it.

[Asker]

I'll take a look at it... A few times I have said something during, and he just says "I know I know, it's my fault." and we go on to something else. Once I was on him reverse-cowgirl, but he was doing the work. He said the position felt amazing! But, when it's me, I feel like I don't even have the chance before it's impossible for me to do so. :/

[Anonymous]

This is indeed hard to answer. If he goes soft before you start is really for you to answer as you should see it when you are there! On the rest I can speculate for you, but again, I would ask him if he notices it too.

It could be your fault. But "fault" is really the wrong word here. E.g. maybe you are grinding him too hard? That can actually be painful. Which I would guess would eventually kill the mood. Try to find a balance between grinding and up and down motions (in and out, basically) as this is generally more pleasurable for guys.

Again, just a guess. You should talk to him.

[Asker]

Well, I know he is hard at the beginning! And it's definitely not me being too rough either, because I'm still trying to "get the feel for it" when it becomes pointless. I've had past sexual relationships, and I've been just find on the top! I don't understand how it could be just less exciting for him than other positions though. :/

[Opinion Owner]

It can always be a personal preference too. Or just hitting the wrong spot for him. Do other things. And talk to him.

[Asker]

I think maybe he just really enjoys being the world in control. One day, I'll ask him. :P haha. I've tried the whole "What things do you really enjoy" thing before, and he gives me cheap answers that women would give. lol

[Mrsmaddox]

I've got the same problem with my hubby buy found out it's not you or him. It's about the blood flow make sure he's propped enough where his heart is above his pennis and make sure he's hard before you begin on top. Also try a rubber cock ring, don't use a metal one they are very dangerous. Hope this helps.

[Matgis]

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[Matgis]

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[markosia]

See my boyfriend gets me to go on top every time, and I do. I grind, get a rhythm with him, bounce on it, and as your boyfriend, he goes soft as well. Yet he still puts me there. I'm not that experienced because I only just lost my virginity to him 3 months ago but I'm just a little confused. I am going to ask him whats it all about but I just don't want to put him in a position where he has to tell me I suck. Any advise?

[JINGIIS]

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[KimberlyNicole]

I have the same problem for me I think my bf just isn't into that position maybe it's boring for him lol but I like it so I talked dirty in his ear and kissed his neck while riding that seemed to help keep him hard. I don't know just a suggestion maybe it'll help? :)

[goflipaburger]

It has nothing to do with attraction, its more about circulation and distraction. I'd say let him help you by thrusting, that can bring some blood back in him :p you can also jack him off while lowering yourself

[Robotic]

You know how to do it ;D

[TimmyThomas]

Because it is hard for him to pretend you are a dude when you are on top.

[Asker]

Cute answer.

[NonchalantBro]

hes not a f***up

[Asker]

?

[JZ_817]

Are you just grinding when your on top? Because for me (and maybe your bf) I don't really feel that much pleasure in that but I noticed that women seem to enjoy that position more. I never get soft tho..

[Asker]

Well, I don't just grind. I spend a few seconds lowering myself onto him & I grind my hips around (because that feels SO good to me), but then I try go in an up-down motion & it becomes difficult to do so when he becomes soft. :/ While we are in other positions, he usually has no problem staying hard. He's probably in control 80% of the time, so I guess that's why it makes me feel so bad that me on top doesn't work for hi!

[JZ_817]

hmm. Next time try leaning forward towards him and a bit and let him do the thrusting

[Asker]

I don't want it to be all him though! :P That's sort of the situation. I don't want him to feel like I'm boring after a while, because he's always doing all the work. Girl-on-top is the #1 woman in control position, after all.

[Dragan]

Probably this sexual position is not excite for him

[blake47]

he needs to wear a c*** ring it sounds like the blood is rushing away from the p**** causing him to go soft. rubber bands work too just make sure its not too tight or else some serious issues can arise \. and you can get vibrating rings too. its not yor fault its not like your unatractive to him its just something that happens to some guys and its an easy solution.

[Anonymous]

Blood is effected by gravity raise you arm and the majority of blood will flow out of it, same with the penis. This can be especially true for people who have lower blood pressure.

[Anonymous]

Could be the positioning of him being on his back just makes it hard for him to keep an erection? I'm not sure. I don't believe it's a coincidence anyways. It wouldn't have anything to do with you either as it still feels good and the view is great. I would just stay away from that position and add in something to replace it. ;-)

[Asker]

Can his position actually factor toward his erection? (haha, I'm going to google that!) I think ONE time, it went alright. I was a little tipsy, therefore I had no shame in taking control & being extremely horny haha- I think he found that sexy. (I'm a shy person in general, and although I'm comfortable with him, I'm still a TAD bit self-concious when I'm sober. :P)

[Opinion Owner]

I've never really known anyone to be like that but that's the only logical kind of thing I could come up with here lol.

[Asker]

I just thought of a time when I was on him reverse-cowgirl, but he was doing all the work, and he said the position made him feel amazing! I feel bad that it's like him doing 80% of the work though, like he'll think I'm boring. :/ I also don't feel like I have a chance because he loses his hard so quick when I'm on top! (I leave that other 20% for other positions where I take over, but girl-on-top is obviously the #1 female in control position! lol)