Why are so many Arab girls asexual?

[Anonymous]

I am Arab and was raised in a conservative Muslim household. But that's not me. I have the same personality as any guy my age (21). I am not that religious, I am pretty liberal, and for some reason I can't be attracted to arab women because they seem so damn asexual. I only dated once, and it was with an arab girl. I thought she was like me, that she didn't want the conservative lifestyle, that she also had urges, AND she made the first move. But I was wrong. She seemed like she only "acted" intimate and "acted" sexual, but we never went "all the way." When we were intimate, it felt like she was doing a chore. and it turned out she was only looking for a husband that she would choose, not her parents, so that she could move out. i mean, I thought it was just my mom and sister, since they think a kiss before marriage is as bad as sex before marriage. Hell, holding hands even. but now I see its all the arab girls in my neighborhood. They are truly not sexual people. Sure they would respond to a come on, or a flirt, maybe they would flirt back. But even when they do, they never respond "in kind." They seem to just brush it off as "just being silly." And after being friends with many of them, they seriously have no sexual interests, and they know I'm the guy in the group that doesn't care what the topic of conversation is, especially sex, so the know I won't judge them. I dunno... it seems like ever arab girl I've met or known is asexual, and only shows interest in men when "husband" hunting. its pissing me off. why be even flirt if its known you won't even do anything before someone puts a ring on your finger? then it pisses me off MORE when the guys would look down on a girl if she wasn't a virgin. WHO THE f*** CARES? If you marry a girl, who cares if she's a virgin? that's just stupid. Its illogical. So why get made at women who won't put out if you keep openly insulting the ones that do? I just have to know, are there arab girls that are sexual people? do they have fantasies. Do they watch p*rn. do they enjoy sex. Do they not mind the idea of sex without commitment, especially in the form of marriage? do these women exist? i believe there is such thing as people being asexual, but an entire demographic? its just... illogical to me. and please, no one saying "Oh you should love matters more than sex." I'm not talking about love. I'm talking about the basic human need and instinct of sex.

[calialltheway1993]

There Arab women can't just change their lifestyle because you want to bang them or whatever. They are the way they are because that's how they grew up. It's in their roots. They follow culture and religion. They don't sleezy people talking crap about them if they make a mistake with someone like you for example. They're looking for husbands- that's who they would bang.

To answer your other many questions:

Yes, there are arab girls that are sexual people. The word "arab" doesn't define the girl. It's just a word. The girl and her actions define her.

Of course they have fantasies. They are human afterall.

I'm sure they have at least one. Maybe not ALL.

Who doesn't enjoy sex?

I'm sure they mind sex without commitment. They aren't toys. Especially in the form of marriage. They don't do pre-marital sex.

The basic human need and instinct of sex is still there, they just don't express themselves the way others do.

I'm not going against your belief and thoughts. I give you a plus for following what you follow and living your own life, free of everything. But since you're arab, you should seriously know how arab females are.

Oh, just because you've been brushed off by a couple of arab women, and some were asexual, this does not mean the rest are the same. There are many and many and many arab girls out there that go against their culture because they want to live their life. I am not against them, nor saying something negative. I actually appreciate how they want to change old generations and start a fresh one for future generations.

[calialltheway1993]

want sleezy people*

[Norah2]

I'm a Muslim woman who also grew up in similiar circumstances. It doesn't shock me as, if they're Muslim then I'm assuming they hold values in relation to the teaching of Islam and don't want to openly show their sexual side (this goes for men too).
It depends on the girl and what she wants out of a relationship. I have been getting attention and flirtatious approaches from men ever since I could remember (even with my hijab) and I never responded UNLESS I saw them as serious future partners. This has nothing to do with my religion but my personality. I generally don't like to waste anyone's time or emotionally invest in someone I don't see to be a long term partner. that doesn't make me asexual it just makes me I guess more selective on who I allow in my sexual life. I don't think every girl (Muslim or not) is openly sexual. It really depends on the person and what they want from life/ relationships. A Muslim woman is just a normal woman after all and 99% of the time will have the same urges as any other human on earth.

[Anonymous]

hahaha wow. its quite refreshing.

Im middle eastern from a similar background and I have never husband hunted or been modest.

its the culture not the person who is oppressive.

you sit 24 years being told what to do, what's right, that's wrong, don't do this don't do that all for the sake of what you future hubby may think would give anyone a mental hemorrhage.

this isn't only in our culture, its a unified patriarchy belief that virgins are better... that innocence is purity, that a women should be "pure" till she gets married..All through history, virgin were prize as a "Columbus" ideologies that "you were here first", more so slaves were prized higher if she was a virgin.

I don't mind the concept of sex, I joke flirt sextext with other on the topic, moreover I do watch some p*rn when I get horny and its totally natural to explore my body in this manner.

lol.

[Asker]

Thank you. You actually answered the question :) Even as a guy I don't believe in a "patriarchal" society. I also hate words like "slut" or "whore". If a girl enjoys sex then what's the big deal? That's all I'm saying.

[onizuka]

Hi (: Sorry, I just saw this question and wanted to answer it even though it's old. Sometimes, it may seem Arab girls are 'asexual' but try not to generalize because I'm an Iraqi girl who is pretty sexual. However, I don't flirt with others and then act like I have no interest in them. I don't like misleading others; I try to be direct with people. I have fantasies, I watch porn and I masturbate O: I was also raised in a conservative household, but that doesn't mean I actually follow the social rules I guess. I mean, I do but at the same time, I don't. I have needs like any other person, and I don't think it's wrong. So to answer your question, yeah, there are Arabs out there that are sexual and some do exist like me. Anyways, I hope I brought some insight. Cheers (:

[MrOracle]

Look, you are failing to grasp the level of shame and degredation their culture places on them if they are sexual before marriage. Of course they have urges and WANT sex, but they also don't want to be shunned or treated as if they are worthless or "damaged goods."

Try to imagine if your culture told you that you were never allowed to smile or have fun in public, and that if you did, people would shun you, would talk about you and make fun of you, exclude you, and treat you as if you were worthless. Of course you'd still want to have fun, but you'd be afraid to; afraid of the backlash that would bring. It's the same for them.

So, have 3 real choices:

- Comply with their/your culture and marry a girl, and have all the sex you want.

- Reject the culture and relocate where a different culture is prominant.

- Try to find the very, very few women in your culture who reject the sexual restrictions as you have. This is clearly what you want, but you are basically complaining that it's "too hard." Well, of course it is, as this is the option with, by far, the lowest chance of success. There are 50,000 guys like you for every girl who is like what you want. Those are rough odds.

[austin399]

You seem to have similar motives to what I was raised on, I agree but you see I have to agree, only morons focus on sex with virgins, only idiots care about name calling, in the Roman Catholic Church name calling is a sin... It slanders someone's name, lol... But explorations as what she said above (just formatted for a guy's "equipment" lol) will take some sexuall stress off you and you can meet the right girl, just don't be an idiot like me, I am going into the army and will probably never get married... Good luck finding a guy who doesn't think those words... And girls are just as chaotic as guys sometimes... That was a mild case of what I have dealt with, try a suicidal emo chick... Little scary lol

[Lifesbeautiful]

Im sure some of them love sex , same as most girls in any religion who grew up conservative ... but probably it jsut means they hold themselves valuable until they are married. They don't want to go too far and give themselves entirely to their husbands and their husbands only. there isn't anything wrong with that. I'm sure they get urges and desires just as much as most girls would. They just have respect for themselves to hold back until they are married and then have sex and do crazy stuff privately with their husband only. If that bothers you then find another girl who doesn't care about morals and values. Simple as that.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I'm not Arab but it's probably because of the culture they are in. What if you met an Arab girl that wasn't asexual, by your definition? More than likely that girl would be looked down on, disrespected and considered a whore by most people. Why would they want to put themselves through that?

And let's keep it real: You are more than likely complaining about this because you're a guy who wants to have fun, date casually and hook up, right? But when it's time for you to get married and have children what type of woman are you going to choose to be your wife? One of the "fun" American girls or one of the "asexual" Arab girls?

[Asker]

I don't believe in marriage. I don't plan on getting married because of my culture. If I did get married to an Arab girl, it would be one I'm on the same page with. But that is proving to be rare.

[knowmeyourself]

Not wanting to have sex before marriage does not make you "asexual". It means that those girls hold certain principles which they are proud of. Try to search for a girl who would share your views on sex, relationships and whatnot.

It is all about compatibility.

[Asker]

i understand that. But these girls wouldn't consider even consider making out with the guy they like if given the chance, or even touch them. its mindboggling.

[knowmeyourself]

People think differently. This does not mean you're better or worse rather than just being different. If you think being an Arab or a Muslim does not suit you, then pick another environment to live in. Search for a girl who has the same views on relationships as you do.

[Asker]

yes I know. And I will. I'm working on it. but this doesn't answer my question of whether or not openly sexual arab girls exist.

[knowmeyourself]

Of course they do.

[Reemaa]

Lol, for god sake, just have a look on my profile 🤨🙃.

[justme20]

because your culture as well as others teach women should be chaste while men are freely to do whatever. they don't allow women to be sexually free and many are repressed or feel bad after having sex.

[Asker]

yes, I understand that, and I am aware my culture is stupid. I pointed that out. but this doesn't answer my question.

[justme20]

they are sexually repressed. they aren't actually asexual but the consequences for a female having sex verses a male is more harsh. they are considered "damaged goods" that nobody wants

[knowmeyourself]

Alot of Muslim women choose not to have sex before marriage by choice, not for being repressed. :)

[justme20]

many do it by choice and many still feel repressed. some feel awful about having sex before marriage because they feel like no man will want them or they lie about it. I'm not speaking for everyone of course :)

[knowmeyourself]

This is true for sure. I agree. :)

[MyUsernameRules]

This is stupid. In Arab and Muslim culture even men are looked down upon within the society for having premarital sex.

[justme20]

Not as much as woman. Men are allowed to have premartial sex and a woman can be killed or shunned for it. Knowmeyourself is from a Muslim country. She knows and agrees

[ElissaDido]

We are not asexual we're just not sexually active before marriage, there is HUGE difference.

[Lupianwolf]

religion and culture

[username3]

hi :) first and foremost i must say am middle eastern
i honestly do not get it are you serious or you just kidding? i mean i have girlfriends who aren't virgin , some who even live with their boyfriends, and of course they masturbate and watch p***, i think you need to get a little bit out of your neighborhood :p , where are you from? am so curious !!!
(i just wanna make smthg clear , it's not about being virgin or not whether it was for a girl or a boy, it's all about sex , God has forbidden sex in all religions obviously because there is a certain age when the human body will no longer be able to enjoy sex that's why you have to do it at a certain age)
i have a question , would you ever let your sister be with "the idea of sex without commitment" like you said?

[Shameneyes]

It's not the woman; it's her environment and culture

[Asker]

i understand that. But its not answering the question.

[eos05]

could not agree more.

[ASEXY]

1. Most people, including most Arab girls, aren't asexual. Only one percent of the population is asexual.
2. Asexual doesn't mean abstinence or lack of a sex drive.
3. Most Arab girls practice abstinence because their culture is very conservative about sex and is against pre-martial sex.

[jaydtre]

Doesn’t sound like Asexuality to me

[VoiceOfDawn]

Being sexually attracted to their partners is the first reason for someone to engage in a ( hopefully consensual ) sexual experience , so should probably make sure that that is there first , of course when arab islamic culture is involved that feeling becomes so mixed with guilt and fear that the awaited pleasure seems no longer worth it , for girls.
Point is you don't 'become' asexual because of your culture , so you can't just assume that asexuality goes with 'arab' and 'girls' , most certainly not based on a few bad experiences with some of them , who belong to the same community.
I'm a tunisian muslim girl and I can assure you that you don't have to look for too long to find a girl who has no problems expressing her sexuality freely, so it's basically a cultural thing. Asexuality on the other hand is not that well accepted, and I mean the actual sexual orientation , the one you're born with , because deciding not to have sex unless certain elements are present like a (legal marriage) has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

They are being shy

[Anonymous]

Wow your very observant

[Anonymous]

Good BA

[Anonymous]

Ur not a girl so how can you say that

[Anonymous]

Please tell me you're not Muslim

[Anonymous]

Never forget that you live in a very religious culture that warns a woman's natural libido to restraint or else bad consequences follow in one form or another. Need I tell you which ones? I don't think so.

In any case, it was like this during the Middle Ages, of which it's not much different today. A woman who is sexual is considered a slut, and a slut is considered an aberation from religious standards that deems her a poor example to society, therefore worthy of death. So just imagine living in that kind of deluded world govern by men obsessed with controlling female sexuality for their own tyrannical desires. To this day, women in Africa are having their clits cut off to control just that.

After you considered all these things, you will have a partial answer to your question I'm sure.

[Asker]

Um, in my background men are supposed to be virgins until marriage too. What passes me off is that guys can get away with it.

[Anonymous]

Then don't date Arab girls.

[Opinion Owner]

Why are you so mad about this?

[Asker]

Because Arab girls are attracted to me, and they won't understand why I don't have interest in them. And that caused this rant.

[Opinion Owner]

K so you don't have an interest in them so then just get someone other girl and she can convert over , that was your second choice right?

[Asker]

what do you mean "convert over"? If you mean converting religion, that's only necessary for marriage. And, as I've said, I'm NOT looking for marriage.

[Anonymous]

because pre-martial sex is HARAM.

[Asker]

Hahahaha