Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
Why is it wrong for a man to refuse to date or marry women that have engaged in premarital sex?
Anonymous
If the guy is waiting I mean.
Updates:
+1 y
So what Distant I'm supposed to marry some woman that's spent years fooling around because she has "changed?" Because she's no longer a slut (usually because she became a single mom or lost her sex appeal with age). These women stop being promiscuous
+1 y
Because they are replaced. Why would any sane man take used goods? In our granxparents generation marriage didn't fail and infidelity was unheard of. Now feminism has came and told women its OK to whore around. And marriage failing hurts men more
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What Girls & Guys Said
71 42Also...what if you marry a virgin and she completely sucks in the sack? Lol you have no way of knowing if either one of you can satisfy your partner. It would suck to spend the rest of my life with a guy who couldn't even come close to getting me off.
Anybody can be openminded and adventurous with their partner, they don't have to sleep with hundreds of people to get to that point, it's a mindset.
nope it's a skill. Just like walking and talking aren't mindsets, they are skills, same for sex.
well what if the guy was a virgin but he had a huge d*** lol
@Blobb anyone can learn skills - if they are willing.
Its not wrong if that's what you believe. THAT SAID not all women who have premarital sex are sluts; it just means that they don't share the same belief as you. And you can't seriously blame the higher divorce rate on the fact that people don't wait for sex, its because nowadays there are so many stresses and divorce is more widely accepted and not as taboo as it was for our grandparents.
Also "marriage failing hurts men more" What the f***? You don't have any right to say that, I would say it hurts both parties equally. I've known so many women who were absolutely crushed by a failed marriage.
Stick with what you believe, but try to be more accepting of people who don't share the same belief as you.
Men have to pay more for divorces if they make the mistake of marrying a used up slut, usually lose their kids too. I do blame it on feminism, he timeline matches exactly with he rise of feminism. Which told women its OK to be whores that sleep around. Women shouldn't marry or date players either. As a man that's a virgin and actually follows these things filthy hypocritical sluts make me sick. Especially if they pretend to believe in Christian beliefs they don't live by.
So you are saying that before feminism and the guys whore around that it was OK. There was plenty of whoring around in the past before feminism. It was just because women did not say anything. Now we are just upfront about everything.
Wow I don't have a problem with your beliefs, I do however have a problem with you being a d***. Not everyone is Christian or religious and you have to accept that. Men have been sleeping around for ages, even so called "religious" ones and they kept women in relationships that they had been unfaithful in by telling them divorce is wrong. Feminism taught women to be strong and independent. I am sure there are a lot of virgin feminists, so it has nothing to do with feminism. The reality of today
is that religion is becoming less popular. That is not the affect of feminism that is the affect of science and learning more about the world. Also you say that men lose there kids and have to pay money, what about men who leave their wives as single mothers and then go marry a younger woman or just go out to party. Do you know how tough it would be to be a single woman with kids? I think you are a sexist, chauvinistic, asshole who generalizes everything.
They made that choice when they opened their legs without considering their personal income and whether they were ready to bring life in to the world. It's not my fault the dumb sluts don't have any foresight, now is it?
So you want them to have the feminist ideal of working on their own to gather an income, but not be free with their body? And if you married her, as a virgin, planted the seed, showed her want an ass you can be, and only then did she get a divorce, or conversely the man she committed to left - then yes it was his fault to. Hell, when people get prenant it is always 2's fault unless it is rape. Eggs + sperm = kid. Someone stuck it in. You should take care of the consequences too.
"So you want them to have the feminist ideal of working on their own to gather an income, but not be free with their body?" Yes, exactly. If a woman isn't a virgin I will immediately dump her.
this
I am curious why is a woman who has had sex "worthless" to you? What changes in her that earns her such a title? A woman who has sex is still beautiful, she is still smart and caring and perfectly able to have children. Sex changes nothing. Unless you are so insecure that you don't think you could measure up to other guys? And most womens "used goods" are still perfectly intact and if they didn't tell you they had sex you wouldn't be able to tell. Also you apply the term slut way too liberally..
A slut = a woman who has sex with many many men whom she has no feelings for what so ever. BUT I have had sex before marriage and I am not a slut. I love that person and I'm devoted to that person. Sex is not casual to me, it is sacred and only meant to be shared with someone I love.
A slut or whore according to the Bible is a prostitute or any woman that is a fornicator or has sex outside marriage. In the end times, there would be many fornicators. Most Christian women these days, by biblical definition, are whores and fornicators and quite unrepentant about it. The world does indeed deserve to stand condemned, unfortunately the closest thing to a God in this world is me.
abstinence is necessarily. I don't mean to challenge your beliefs, but to refuse to be with somebody over such a trivial (it really is) fact, is ridiculous. You should date and marry someone because you like who they are, not where they have been.
A person's past is part of who they are, whether they like it or not. What someone does with their back against the wall or when they think there are no consequences reveals who they really are, their true persona. And there's no changing that. So yes, people can and should and always will be judged for their past
It's not wrong.
Why would it be wrong?
Not every woman who engages in pre marital sex is a slut. Your views are clearly misguided. I got raped when I was 20 and got pregnant from the outcome. I wasn't ready to be a mother or have sex, would that make me a bad person. Yes I chose the keep my baby and it was the best choice I ever made. I am still looking for a man who doesn't engage in premarital sex. There aren't many who do. Don't be so quick to judge something, you don't understand please.
Um, because if you love someone something stupid like that shouldn't matter? Women aren't tires that get worn out and need to be replaced, THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS, with feelings, emotions, goals, and dreams just like you. A woman is not an object that gets used up and is no longer vauble. You marry someone for who they are on the inside, not because of the condition of their vagina. Oh really? A failed marriage hurts men more? Prove it. You can't speak for everyone and certainly not most people either. Refusing to marry someone who has a different belief system then you is fine, but seeing women as items with expiration dates is not.
Let me ask you a question have you remained pure. If not how can you ask your partner to do something you were not capable. That is why marriages fail because one partner expects the other to be better than themself. Unrealistic expectations and lack of communication kill relationship, not women that are openly-sexual women.
Yes I have
It isn't wrong... it's your choice. You've just got to realize that you may never find a perfect virgin bride, they're hard to come by nowadays. Your morals/beliefs could cause you more pain than satisfaction! Think carefully about this one, these girls do exsist, but will you meet one?
Your best bet may be dating websites, meeting these girls on nights out is unheard of!
Why is it wrong? Not wrong at all!
I'm a virgin.. we're not THAT hard to find!
"we're not THAT hard to find!" You kinda are.
well hello there. you found me! haha
Actually, a lot of girls lie that they lost their virginity and they didn't, and vice versa. The only way to know the most accurate percentage is by going through medical records, which aren't going to be broadcasted. And it is very easy to lie about your virginity, especially to someone who is waiting till marriage before having sex. And most girls have either had sex willingly, been raped, been molested, or were circumcised. So good luck finding a virgin without baggage!
good luck with finding a partner without baggage! we all come with our baggage. it has nothing to do with being a virgin. plus, a person can lie about many other things... things that would supposedly affect the relationship. once one lie is discovered, then that person shouldn't be trusted with anything. and lying about virginity is really very easy to discover. if you don't know why or how then... I don't know how to explain it!
I don't think it is wrong to turn down a girl because of her past. If you want to wait till marriage, and you want a woman that feels the same way, that's completely fine and good for you. Nothing is wrong with that. Here are the things that are wrong, and why:
To call women that partake in premarital sex sluts and whores is wrong. Despite your views on premarital sex, you do not know these girls' sexual experiences. You do not know that they weren't raped. You do not know their views on premarital sex. You do not know what they consider sex to be. And you as a man do not know the current female pressures to be beautiful, to fit in, and to be sexy.
To blame the large amount of young women that have premarital sex on feminists is wrong. You do not know where the pressures that pushed these young women into premarital sex stemmed from so you cannot assume it is feminists that these young women have turned to to justify their actions.
Not wrong at all, but degrading women and calling them sluts isn't good, just because they don't have the same thoughts. If you are going through with this then I suggest finding a partner that isn't it a westernized country. Thailand etc.
Indeed, I'm quite serious I would rather end up alone than ever consider dating or marrying a woman that isn't a virgin, for any reason whatsoever. Unless the reason was rape.
There is nothing wrong with dating a woman who has had sex before. I'm a virgin but I would date a girl who's not, provided she would respect my decision to remain so until marriage. I don't think it's necessarily wrong, it's a matter of personal preference. However, if your view is "you're a s*** and God hates you!", then that's where you will have problems.
How many guys pull the "if you you really love me, you'll have sex with me" card and how many girls fall for it or don't think to say "if YOU really love ME, you'll respect my decision to say 'no'"? I read a book last summer called Loose Girl: A Memoir in Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen. I would recommend reading it.
Well then the women that fell for that are weak-willed. They failed in their basic biological task of being the gatekeepers of sex. QA is right IMO
I respectfully disagree with you, sir. Most of the instances I know of when that BS is pulled occur when girls are teenagers when they are more emotinally fragile and think love is just a touch-feely emotional high, when true love is ultimately willing the good of the other person. Read up on "eros" and "agape". In fact, a lot of people around my age still don't seem to fully grasp it. If you ask me, the "men", being physically stronger, failed in their basic tasks as the protectors.
Again, I urge you to read Kerry Cohen's book "Loose Girl". It will give you an insight, however great or small, as to what goes on in a girl's heart and mind when she is looking for love and wanting to be seen as beautiful and valuable.
From reading the synopsis it sounds like a book written by a bitter slut that desperately is trying to justify said slutiness.
The key words in the synopsis is "descent into promiscuity". In the book, she notes that she is not proud of what she did at all. It's about how she was looking for real love and how she felt she had to hand herself over completely to get it. You and QA are very wrong. My question for you is where does it say that the basic biological task of a woman is to be the gatekeeper of sex? I would argue that the man is because he is physically stronger and has a duty to protect.
because us girls would get kicked to the freak'n curb yeah you wish it was that easy buddy...
It is that easy. Most of you are lying whores.
Maybe you should reassess your expectations for your potential mate and work on your inner self before hitting the dating scene. Most women- virgins or not- don't want to date someone who says most of us are "lying whores".
Most people are trash, and liars that cannot be trusted. Women are no exception, but most women use sex to hurt or control men. Most women cannot be trusted, because they will lie and use and betray you.
Lmao and vice versa! How many guys use sex to hurt or control women? RAPISTS! Mainly men! Helloooo. lol you are such a troll
because girls are ofended and insulted if they are refused. To put it in man language. it be like doing up a car to hand over as a birthday presant and the birthday girl/guy not likeing it.
For one, I disagree with marriage being an ultimate prerequisite for sex. It's like, "we have a paper now, we can legitimately and legally have sex! Yaaay!" I mean, no. If I want to be committed to someone, I can do it without a paper. I don't need a certificate to justify our mutual sense of attachment.
And let's not forget that the ideal of "getting married and living together with someone forever and in love" is sort of disappearing, due to the influence of the media and that various sociologists and other "experts" claim that versatility and going for something better constantly with no restriction is beneficial for gathering experience, while being bound gives limitation to personal development.
Bla bla bla, I know that was boring. Even I realize that, haha.
HOWEVER.
What you should take into consideration is not the fact of whether she's virgin or not. It's whether she is promiscuous or not. Apparently, I accept how you would reject slutty girls that have had sex with more guys than a dozen "merely to have fun". But I don't think you should say "damaged goods" (in fact, why do you even use the word "goods" for a human.. virginity is a one-time only thing) about someone who used to be in a relationship for 4 years for example, then her boyfriend broke up with her for some really stupid reason.
Still shows a lack of self control and poor judgment.
well if you tell me what she would gain from that self-control, I'll be glad to hear. Just make sure the reasoning is non-religious.
Wow, that doesn't happen much in today's society. Cheers.
But if you are expecting a virgin, like yourself, that's probably not going to happen. But there is nothing wrong with it.
Not wrong.
Everyone has a preference
its not wrong it just means your going to end up alone for the rest of your life, with standards like that.
all ou lives we hear about how men will only stay with us if we f*** them and as soon as we do they tell us they want a virgin...how is this fair
although if your a virgin too its differnt, but if youve had sex youn can't complain fi she has
also not being a virgin doesn't mean your whoring around, there is a big differnce between...having premarital sex doesn't mean you permiscuous.
also I'm a virgin but I don't believe in waiting for marriage it impractical, also I don't want o get married for another 10 years and that's way to long to wait
Whatever you want to say about women, you better be prepared to apply it to men, too!