AITA: My wife is pissed because I can’t control my urine stream?

I tell her it’s a goddamn fire hose and there’s nothing I can do.
Voting with me, of course
Vote A
As I said, me. There’s no other option.
Vote B
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Girl Guy
Updates:
2 mo
This is the stupidest question I’ve asked…I think.
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Grow up. If you can’t aim for the toilet bowl and keep keep urine from spattering everywhere, just be a man and sit down. Oh, and if you ARE a man, you will, of course, carefully clean up all the disgusting yellow/spots you left in the bathroom.

    • This is a fcking conspiracy against me in my own house! You talk to my wife mother fcker? I will drive by and blow you awa- What’s happening? I don’t know where I am….

  • i see no other option. you've gotta piss on her and film it for posterity in case you get famous

Most Helpful Girls

  • How would she even know thats happening if you are cleaning the urine up like you're supposed to?

    • AITA: My wife is pissed because I can’t control my urine stream?

  • Start peeing outside like a dog then

    • I…. You…. ….

    • Or maybe a puppy pad

    • Boom. Mho.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • If you can't control it you lose your standing rights and have to sit. Simple as that mate.

    • Fck you and fck my wife I hose down whenever…. i forget what I’m raging about? Jews?

    • @oddbeme Nah.. If you were raging about Jews, you'd be in my bin with all the other shyte :))

    • @TommyMountainFigure wait, that’s what you call Jamba Juice employees right? Have I been making a faux pas all these years?

    • Show All
  • So what's your question?

  • If you aren’t cleaning up after yourself and expect her to then yes. YATA

    • I don’t know what yata is but I’m assuming you’re on my side.

  • If you can't make it to the bathroom first...

  • Kegels, dude. You can stop peeing mid flow if you do kegels. Plus, you'll be able to last longer in bed.

  • I have the same problem. I really try to hit the bowl but sometimes I have two streams. One goes straight and the other goes to one side. You cannot get them both in the bowl.

    • Strong dicks have strong muscles that spasm and lock up.

    • @oddbeme I had a crushed urethra when I was 19. I was never the same.

    • Damn that was a lot of masturbating.

    • Show All
  • Sit and tuck if you can't. WTAF?

    • What does the A stand for?

    • What The Actual Fuck ?

    • Ohhh. You youngsters with you bipity boppity music!

  • i dit down when i pee at home or someone else's house

  • If your wife gives you any static, slap her across the face with 15" of limp dick... that'll teach her 😉

    • You mean 1.5” - no 15”! My fault. Yes, I will. If she puts the shears down.

  • I expect the issue is situational.

    • Geographical actually.

  • Well you're kind of right but the truth is that your penis is long so you can hold on to it and direct the stream into the toilet where it belongs.