Are you an overthinker, especially when it comes to sex and relationships?

[Anonymous]

I'm an overthinker. Are you, and why, and how does it affect your love life or sex life or romantic life. Do you keep a diary or journal or how do you express yourself with always so many thoughts, opinions, energy or anxiety, lol?

[ProbablyClueless]

I used to be, when I was less confident.

[Phoenix98]

Hmm not really no.

[RavenBear0]

Yes I am a massive overthinker and sometimes it can make things difficult in my relationship however I have an extremely understanding and supportive boyfriend who always reassures me and helps me with those problems.

[Asker]

Does it impact moments of romance e. g. you're thing to stay focused on kissing him or public displays of affection of even romantic time privately, do you find it makes your mind constantly wander? 🤔

[Asker]

And do you find it a pro or con? E. g. you're making love yet the whole time you're caught up on overthinking the sensations, every little movement like a narrator, "are we gonna move here" or "is he gonna progress to third base" or even "I wonder what we should have for dinner tomorrow night" lol 😄 😆

[RavenBear0]

Ok so with my overthinking it comes from a place of trauma so it can affect a lot of stuff coz usually my overthinking leads me to "am I good enough for him?" "Why is he with me?" "Am I pretty enough for him?" "Why does he love me?" "Does he even love me?" And I tend to pull away a bit when I start thinking that way and it does become difficult but because I have explained this all to him before I started overthinking he has kind of come to understand it a bit better and when I try to pull away he doesn't let me because he knows if he let's me then my mind will start overthinking about that as well so he really try's his best to comfort me and talk to me about it and reassure me. As for if we're "making love" as you put it, sometimes it can affect that too because my mind will wonder a bit and think things like "am I making him feel good?" "Am I doing something wrong?" And stuff like that but usually when I start thinking like that he'll notice and the way he makes me stop thinking about that is he'll get more intense with it and make it so I can't focus on anything else. So I guess yes usually it is a con however if you talk to your partner about your overthinking before it happens and have a full conversation on what might help while it's happening then it can actually be really good for the relationship after some time because you will eventually stop overthinking after you've seen how many times they help you with it.

[Asker]

Oh I meant more like you're not easily distracted? Aka the lighting is too dark, too bright, how the sheets feel on your skin, etc etc

[Asker]

Or even thinking about what's on television after this romance time lol

[RavenBear0]

I mean that's not really overthinking it's more hypersensitivity

[RavenBear0]

I mean that sounds more like adhd then overthinking, coz adhd or even add makes it hard to focus on just one thing whereas overthinking makes you think about every small thing that could be going wrong or that you could be doing wrong

[Paris13]

In a Relationship, Yes, I Tend To Be An Over thinker and Maybe Sometimes a Stinker. lolxxoo

[mono_gram]

I try not to be an overthinker, but I occasionally have those “what if…” thoughts. I like to keep a diary because it’s a place to get these things off of my mind and I can be real with myself because I know that I’m the only one who’s gonna see the contents.

[Asker]

@mono_gram your answer deserves MHO, you spelled it all out so beautifully and in just the right amount. And that's what I like, a chick who keeps a diary and for the reasons you mentioned. I've read fiction books that included diary scenes and I often liked how chicks in particular write down their inner narrations and inner monologues, before and after. Significant milestone, their perspectives, and so on 🤪😃😋 I love it.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm an overthinker but not about people and relationships :D

[Curiositykilledcat7]

I don’t think at all “bimbo”

[Asker]

Am I the bimbo? Lol I don't get where the came into it 😭

[RefriedBeans]

Sometimes

[NathanDavis]

nope

[ARWINGx1]

Honestly, yes.

I mean, both of them are things one shouldn't take lightly.

However, being autistic would also make it harder than it already is. (since we tend to think differently than non-aussies. Maybe in a bad way in this case. In other words, another issue/thing to take into account.)

[Asker]

I sometimes think I'm just an anxious prone overthinker and I'd date a chick who shared my vibes lol 😜😆

[andreasderjuengere]

To me, sex or a relationship has little to do with 'thinking'.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep my brain works at high speeds so I can even overthink fast unfortunately, I've learned to somewhat control it by not opening my yap tho.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm very similar but I think "overthinker" implies someone who tends to work towards negative thoughts and anxiety. I've learned to avoid that. Now I just call myself a "hyper-thinker". 😅 Maybe you're the same; you strike me as a positive type of guy not prone to anxiety or depression.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'm still remaining at overthinker lol

[Asker]

Overthinking is the best because everything in everyday life can be the "positive side of paranoia" ,😛 Bette to be safer than sorrier lol 😆 legit though 😯

[Nikki1989]

No, I never overthink anything.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, I'm not an overthinker.
I'm very logical and straight forward about compatability, and emotionally stubborn. I'm far too certain to overthink.

[SotiCoto]

There is no such thing as overthinking. Only thinking enough or underthinking.

[Twalli]

I always assumed that I wasn't the only person who noticed when someone else was attractive and that the person who also noticed was more assertive than I was and she was dating him.

[litty736]

I am the founder. It affects my social life and I don't kep diaries or journals

[CaliWildcard]

Depends on the available information, less info more thinking…

[Anonymous]

The solution to overthinking is to act in the physical world. If you want a metric to measure, try to estimate how much time you spend thinking versus how much time you spend actually engaging in physical foreplay, sex and afterplay. Then try to improve that ratio over time, bearing in mind that thinking about sex and relationships IS useful only insofar as it's increasing the quantity or quality of the sex you're having or the relationships you're enjoying. I suspect you'll find that often you're engaging in thought and worry that not only ISN'T improving your sex and relationship life, and it isn't even neutral but is actively harming it (less sex, not as good). All the while the thinking itself isn't enjoyable (certainly not blissful) and probably causes stress and anxiety. THAT, my friend, is a COMPLETE waste of energy.

[Anonymous]

Yes I'm an overthinker. Because despite what a lot of women think I'm not just trying to get laid. I care what she thinks of me, how she feels about me. And I'm not going to go forward with the relationship or sleep with her if she gives me reservations about where we are at and reservations about our future.

So many women's view on "relationships today is how she feels, and that is it. Too many just view a relationship as her feelings, what she wants out of the "relationship" and what he willing to do to cater to that. That is it. And women are so surprised as to why so few men want relationships anymore. Because that is NOT relationship. Relationships are mutual and reciprocal.