Bisexual people: if you are in a heterosexual relationship, how often do you crave sex with your same sex?

[OlderAndWiser]

As a heterosexual, I obviously have only a limited and inadequate understanding of same sex attraction. I can't imagine just turning off my attraction to women. So if you are bisexual, and you are in a heterosexual relationship, can you just "turn off" your attraction to same sex partners? What do you do with your urges to have sex with someone of your same sex? Do those urges just disappear? Do you tell yourself to ignore them because you want to be faithful to your partner? Just how in the hell do you deal with that? And how often is that a problem for you?

[Anonymous]

I crave sex with my girlfriend most of the time but I do have a “friend” who comes over every once in a while to have sex with me. Luckily I have a girlfriend who knows about him and is fine with it as long as I let her know in advance when we meet up. When I first told her about him, she said she wanted to watch us together so we met and I bottomed for him in front of her. We’re all tested so we don’t use condoms. When he and I started to have sex, she looked really uncomfortable but we kept on going. When it’s just him and I, I don’t usually think how it looks for an audience and I’m just focused on the pleasure I’m getting from him and how much I’m giving him but once he was about to cum, I told him to cum inside me and I saw her look away. He was stroking me (we were in doggystyle) and so I came seconds after he did while she was still looking away. I went and got cleaned up and came back and once he left, I asked if it was awkward for her and she nicely said that we could still meet up but she wasn’t interested in watching anymore. We still have our arrangement to meet up about once a week while she’s out. I just text her when we’re done.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

It's really not any different than straight people still finding others attractive when they are in a relationship. If your happy and committed you aren't going to sleep with other women, right?
No, you can't turn it off, but it's not like I'm gonna date a girl for a year and then be like "welp, I miss dick, see ya!" I don't need a steady stream of both, being bi just means either a man or a woman could end up being my partner

[Inexpensivefurniture]

No, either a man or a woman can satisfy my sexual desires. I'm sorry you were cheated on, but it wasn't because you couldn't satisfy her. Cheating is her personality flaw, not your fault

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, that part I get very well. I never blamed myself. I am trying to understand if bisexuals always feel that they are missing something when they settle down to one partner.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I can't speak for all bisexuals but personally I've never felt like I was missing anything when I was in a relationship.

[Annekoko]

I dont have a preferred gender so I dont miss one when i am with the other. But i can stil find other people of both genders atrative

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Voted A- here for the comments.. Great question by the way!! I've also wondered the same thing and why wouldn't want to date a bit sexual man, because I feel he'd have needs/desires I couldn't fulfill

[OlderAndWiser]

Unfortunately, I experienced that with a woman who is now my ex.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sorry to hear that. At least you're open-minded enough to know not all women are bisexual, just because you had a bad experience with one. Why your user name really fits 💛🤗

[loves2learn]

This is a really interesting question. Following.

[ChrisMaster69]

I’ve had 3 long term relationships with bisexual girls and none of them cheated.

we did discuss it during relationships and basically it’s like a straight person wondering about sex with someone of the opposite gender.

my last Ex, who I split with in December 2019 (she move to Australia) is now with a guy, she had a brief thing with a couple of girls but not much.

My sister is bi and she came out at 14, she’s pretty much same, if in a relationship, then loyal and does not cheat.

which is basically what we are talking about, personally how much is used as an excuse to cheat ‘sorry you don’t understand me, I need sex with other girls / men”

cheating is cheating to me

[Nachowedgie]

Damn you're lucky, all three of my exes were bi and all of them cheated

[ChrisMaster69]

@Nachowedgie I know guys and girls married or relationships and their partners have cheated or multiple partners

[Nachowedgie]

Yeah, there's a lot of low quality women nowadays

[ChrisMaster69]

@Nachowedgie and guys Cheating is gender neutral

[Nachowedgie]

True but I don't date guys so that doesn't effect me personally

[lightbulb27]

no idea, thankful for my girlfriend and that I don't have to think about this.

[spookiebxch]

I’m bisexual in a relationship with a guy and I crave intimacy with same sex, which is why we are open/have multiple partners. I also have a girlfriend so it’s not really an issue for me.

[Nik1hil]

That's perfect.. I have always wondered if I am with a bisexual girl.. I wouldn't want her to miss out on having another girlfriend at the same time.. Because I have no problem with other girls kissing her.. I have problems with other men getting with her... Glad to read an opinion that agrees with my simulationary decision

[spookiebxch]

I also have another male partner.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Nik1hil "Because I have no problem with other girls kissing her." When she gets another girlfriend, they will be doing more than holding hands and kissing!

[Gagname]

@spookiebxch How long have you been in your open relationship, and do you & him ever go out and swing/couple swap w ransoms or friends?

[Nik1hil]

It's okay if she does scissoring and strap on with other girls.. I have no issue... As long as that girl doesn't come. Between two of us... Or try to break us I am okay with that..

[spookiebxch]

My boyfriend and I have been open for about a year now. No, we don’t swing or swap.

[NathanDavis]

my last girlfriend was bisexual, and we were together for years... so I could answer "for her" on many of the questions that have been raised in this post but... not sure if you would want to take my word for it, these are things we lived and of coursed talked about it often, and her thoughts and answers were always consistent with her actions so... let me know

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I think maybe bisexuals are a little more sexually liberal than people in pure hetero or gay relationships are. By default we (bi people) have to accept that if we are embracing both sides of the field, that monogamy isn't really possible.

Anyone getting into a relationship with a bi person should expect third parties to enter into the equation sometimes.

[OlderAndWiser]

That may not be universally true of all bisexuals but concluded that is probably more likely after my experience with a bisexual girl.

[Agape93]

Eh it depends. I more crave a person than a gender or organ.

[Neko911]

Never. I only wanna be intimate with the person im dating. If I wanted to sleep with s girl I'd date her not a man

[Neko911]

Nope. My needs can be satisfied by being with the person I'm in love with. I don't need to be with a women sexually to feel satisfied in my sex life. Of I'm sleeping with someone I care for everything is taken care of

[snackthatsmilesback]

Wouldn't it be pretty much the same tho? You have a partner but that doesn't mean you can shut off attraction to other women, but you still control it/don't cheat n shit. They have a partner it doesn't mean they can shut off their attraction to other women or men, but they still control it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not the same thing because my partner at home can satisfy all of my sexual needs. If you are a bisexual, does being with a woman satisfy the same needs that you feel with another man?

[snackthatsmilesback]

Oh I guess that's true. But I don't know the biggest physical difference is the organs, and you could use a fleshlight/dildo just for that function. That's not a relationship ofc but it is sexual satisfaction that can simulate either sex. Yes? Hm I'll read the other replies too now I'm curious

[Nik1hil]

Pretty good question

[Massageman]

The situation does seem although it would be lopsided.

[Massageman]

oops "as though". darn Siri

[FinalFantasyBro]

I am also a hetrosexual male

[Dennisjf12]

Why? Because that's who I am, and I have no need to prove it.

[dudeinohio]

I was where you were... in a long-term relationship with a bisexual woman... she cheated on me with another woman, too. Fortunately I didn't marry her.

[Juxtapose]

As often as I wanna fuck other women. Us guys like to spread our DNA & for gay stuff it isn't different in my experience.

Monogamous relationships are easy though, just have self disciple & don't be stupid.

[legalboxers]

*watches with bated breathe at the responses*

[FoghornLeghorn99]

Wouldn't the urge be the same as in a straight or gay relationship.

Meaning all people's eyes wander.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not necessarily. If I have a heterosexual girlfriend, I can fulfill all of her needs for a man. If I have a bisexual girlfriend, I can fulfill her needs when she needs a guy but I can't fulfill her needs when she needs another woman.

[Loneranger1987]

Pretty often... sex with a man is usually more kinky and dirty