Boyfriend put a finger in my bum whilst I was asleep, feel really weird about it?

Question

So last night I woke up at god knows what hour because I was hurting from my anus. After a while put two and two together and realised what had happened, boyfriend had put a finger in there whilst I was fast asleep and I must’ve woken up fully just as he took it away. I wasn’t facing him (obviously) and honestly did feel like crying and still do if I think about it too much. It’s not nice to wake up in pain, especially when it was inflicted by someone you love :( 

I confronted him and he denied it at first but the way he just sat there whilst I was asking questions staring gave it away and he did eventually admit he did it. I asked how long he did it for and he said not long at all because i woke up and I asked how far and he said a tiny bit but kinda confused how he managed to hurt me so much down there by doing that? He doesn’t seem sorry to be honest and has just gone about doing his own thing now.. 

That’s why I’m here, kinda need to vent and kinda want opinions. Feel weird about feeling upset about this, feel like I’m overreacting? I don't know :(

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It doesn't take much to hurt you and I'd suggest you get it checked out because he could have caused an anal fissure. Any damage in there, even a small one can cause life long problems, or develop into a hemorrhoid.

He most likely caught you with a finger nail when he did it. Also when couples do anything down there, they use lubrication to avoid injury.

If you can't trust your boyfriend when you are asleep, how can you trust him when you are awake?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've done during sex and later on in bed or sofa while she was asleep. To hurt you must have been dry and he wasn't moist or lube enough. I guess it really does depend on your relationship. My gal would be angrier if I interrupted her reading than sleep. She is open to some ass play in bed. Are you angry because he did it or because what he did hurt?

jellyroo · Accepted Answer

What a moron. I wouldn't stay with someone who I couldn't trust myself to sleep around.
Doing sexual things with someone who is asleep and can't consent (unless it's been stated previously by that person that it's okay to do it while that person's sleeping), whether it's in a relationship or not, is sexual assault.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First off. I would of mentioned to him

Why did you do it while I was asleep? that is creepy and not right you can not consent, he may like your butt and wanted to try and maybe was to shy to ask you?

Not saying what he did was right because clearly its not, and your not overreacting for sure

MlleCake · Answer

He needs two weeks on the couch for that.

natasha3012 · Answer

No there is nothing to be upset about! You did not overreact, such sexual things are to be done after proper talking and communicating. If you did not like it, confrontation was absolutely CORRECT!

Roooni · Answer

Be alert.. he's getting you prepared for something bigger 😂

Stevepro68 · Answer

Uh weird kind of abusive

kaskas19 · Answer

Sexual assault. Dump him.

jacquesvol · Answer

Tell him to do it when you ask for it.

Tylisa1 · Answer

I would slap the shit outta him.🤣😂

numens · Answer

It's pretty weird he did it when you were asleep. But it also depends on how you face it. Do you like it or not? Or let him try when you're awake

outside_Toronto · Answer

That's pretty creepy

Walrus_au · Answer

not over-reacting. if he can hurt you and not be sorry about it, get away and find a guy who cares about you.

Steve37 · Answer

That's a little creepy and messed up.

Myrdices · Answer

He fucked up

xxxx9i · Answer

Dump him.

TheRealQuestion · Answer

I've wondered how someones S. O. would feel about waking up to oral, but doing something painful seems seriously wrong, you definitely deserve an apology, at the very least.