Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health When we last had sex, there was an indicator that some semen had leaked out of the condom. He started getting stressed and panicking and I said if I was pregnant, I’d get an abortion as I am going to college soon.
Fast forward, my period is late, all of this week I’ve started getting early pregnancy symptoms. He asked me if I would still get an abortion if it’s real, and this time... I said I don’t know. Pregnancy test came out positive.
I understand where he’s coming from, but I feel I have been handed this gift and my motherly instincts are telling me “dont kill it!”
My boyfriend has accused me of deceiving him and tells me he can’t trust me anymore. Is he out of line, or do I need this abortion? Answer honestly please. I never planned for this to happen, but I dont want an abortion.
Boyfriend said I deceived him. Am I in the wrong?
Billie_ Explorer
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What Girls & Guys Said
8 35as always turns out the woman is a filthy liar. Yea he's right. he can't trust you.
He is way out of line.
Keep the baby and he needs to step up.
This does not make him a bad guy. Condoms do break. Just reason with him.
If you don't get one, then don't.
Sorry... if you don't *want* one. Your body, your choice.
You said you would do one thing and now you're doing something else. You definitely deceived him.
And regardless of how you promise not to make him responsible, he knows you could screw him over whenever you want and there's a huge power imbalance in the relationship right now.
Follow your heart. In all honesty. I'm a dude. Fuck the abortion. You will never forgive yourself and if your relationship has a chance for the long haul, goddamned for sure will not post abortion.
Do you expect him to pay child support or marry you?
It doesn't matter what she expects - if at any time she seeks financial support from the state, the state is going to go to the father and demand that he pay, even if she agreed not to ask him to. And over 18 years, it's impossible to say "oh, I'll make sure I never need support." And once the state is involved, they remain involved until the child turns 18.
He sounds super toxic, forcing you into a decision that is life changing. Think it over very carefully and think about it on your own terms.
Thing is, the guy had protected sex because he did not want a child. An accident happened. He has no right to make her get an abortion but I bet his mind is foggy and messed up after she changed her mind. He feels like his life is ruined. That doesn't make him toxic, it makes him a young guy who has his whole life ahead of him. But now he'll be a father. And the OP simply tries to paint him as a bad guy instead of them both sticking the f together and figuring it out.
@Marilynjuana Fuck off lol. I love him, he’s not a bad guy. Why do you think he’s my boyfriend? I just wanted advice for moving forwards.
@billie_ Telling me to fuck off now? Look at the things you say about him. "You don't have to take care of it" like he isn't even a decent man. Don't get triggered at me for having empathy for him, not my fault you are this blind and selfish. Gosh. I feel for your child.
And I really feel for your boyfriend. You really are unfair.
There's a lot to having a child, are you financially independent to take care of it? Do you think you are knowledgable to raise it well? Now's the time to ask these things.
In the end, you decide to either abort or not. But he made clear he doesn't want a child. And if you keep it, you know he won't be there, that was his choice.
I can understand why he thinks that. He probably thinks you were going to keep the baby anyway but wouldn't tell him until it was too late, forcing him to accept it.
A bit far-fetched, but there is some logic behind it.
In any case, you already know that if you keep it, he'll leave.
I'm gonna be honest with you. You have to do what's best for you cause at the end of the day you have to live with your decision. Plus as a man we can say we're in this together and he can go with you to get an abortion but your the one that actually going through it. If you want to keep your baby then keep it here has to man up that's all
If you are pregnant then have the baby, if you don't want it then give it up for adoption so someone who does want it can have it and love it. There is no deception here as I see it. The condom leaked, that is not your fault... It happened and you did not plan for it to be that way.
I am sure you will be a very good mother, let me know how it turns out? Oh, and mothers go to college all of the time.
Yes...
Abortion is murder if you dont want kids do t have sex it's simple really, oh n he's a loser
You two had sex. Accept responsibility. You do not want to have to live with the guilt of murdering your unborn son or daughter for the rest of your life. You will never regret having him or her. Have you ever known a mother who has regretted having children? Have you ever seen a mother brag about having an abortion?
yes hun sorry...
I'm not going to tell you what you should do but going to college with a child will be very very difficult
Do what you feel is right. You said something in a moment of panic. You're allowed to change your mind
I feel terrible. He keeps accusing me of being a liar.
He's trying to guilt you into it cause he wants the fun but not the responsibility
@jackinoff Mate, these are college students. Of course this guy does not want to be a father. He tried to be safe by wearing a condom, the girl should have also been on pill or something. I can see why he calls her a liar - she changed her mind, which I also understand. But why go off on a young guy who is nowhere near ready enough to be a FATHER.
@Marilynjuana I'm not going off. Not many people are ever ready for parenthood. But if he loves her he should understand how she feels. Not accuse her of lying and making her feel guilty. They should work through it. I'm not saying either of them are right or wrong and responsibility is shared.
@jackinoff Sorry mate, I worded my comment wrong. The "going off" comment was directed at others accusing him of being unfair about the pregnancy. But the poor guy is probably freaking out. I would be incredibly upset and angry if I tried to be safe but then a total disaster followed. I hope the guy will be there for her, the "I have told him he doesn't have to deal with it" comment the OP makes is bs as I hope the guy has more heart than that. But I totally understand why he is upset. I hate that the OP is trying to paint him as unfair.
@Marilynjuana no I understand how he could be upset. Just both need to sit down and talk and work through it no matter the decision made. But at the end of the day I feel like the final decision is hers cause its her body. Its different for women then men
my guess is, you lost your virginity at around 15 or 16
Of course you deceived him by saying you would get an abortion if needed and then later changing you mind, BUT he should have expected you were lying and would change your mind and should have hightailed it to the pharmacy to get the Plan B pill
keep your legs closed next time