Do you also find hand jobs kind of... humiliating?

It's hard to explain why but somehow I really hate getting hand jobs. I'm very open-minded sexually, so it's not about my attitude towards sex. I love getting blowjobs and I also enjoy giving oral (or giving hand jobs to my girlfriend if she asks for it) but I hate receiving hand jobs. Maybe this sounds weird but for some reason, I feel extremely uncomfortable during a hand job. The whole thing feels so... clinical and sterile. My girlfriend sitting there, smiling at me, rubbing that thing like she's milking a cow or pumping a flat tire... it's the unsexiest sex act ever. It feels like she's some kind of nurse in the hospital who just needs to quickly get me off because the doctor said it would be better for me. I get that you can make the setting nicer by being sweet and dirty talking and all that but somehow the whole situation still feels really weird and humiliating. At least during a blowjob, the girl is also having fun (if she enjoys giving blowjobs). Rubbing a pole of flesh for 5-10 minutes while desperately trying not to act awkwardly probably isn't thaaaat sexy. And then me, lying there like a dead fish, knowing that she's only waiting for me to shoot it off and get over with it... it feels kind of dehumanizing... almost kafkaesque. I'd rather get nothing than a hand job. Does anyone feel similar?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think it would be interesting if you gave yourself a handjob with her there and let her be a part of it too. Whether kissing your face and chest, rubbing her hands and body against you, or whatever it is that lets her enjoy you enjoying yourself and vice versa.

    Then decide if it is still humiliating.

    I am of the belief that what make sex great is 90% in our brain and 10% physical.

    So, since you know what you like with a hand then it won't be "the unsexiest sex act ever" if you pleasure yourself with her there because you know what you want physically and her rubbing on you and enjoy you enjoying yourself should add the erotism that is currently missing and should make it sexy and not uncomfortable/humiliating.

    Hand jobs can be a great thing so I think you may be missing out on something great. At least I think so.

    But then again, I am not a guy so...<shrugs

  • I hate giving hand jobs but I love giving blow jobs. Similar reasoning, I guess. Hand jobs feel so dry and... More of a chore than something enjoyable. I'll suck my man off all day, but yeah hand jobs are just awkward and not enjoyable. Thankfully, my husband likes getting a blow job as much as I love giving him one lol

  • I hate giving them for the same exact reason. They're so awkward and boring I'd rather just give a blowjob.

Most Helpful Guys

  • "It feels like she's some kind of nurse in the hospital who just needs to quickly get me off because the doctor said it would be better for me."

    Oh man great ideas for that medical fetish of mine.

    Have you considered leading her spread-eagle tie you while doing this? It would add that element of submission which would make it more fun.

  • And plus, that is a technique that I've been perfectioning since I was 12.
    There is no way in the world, she will do it better than me.. nevermind better, not even half as good as I would.

    • Good point. I feel the same way. My girlfriend's blowjobs are mind-blowing, her hand jobs on the other side are... meh, I'd rather take care of that myself ;-).

    • but hey, if she likes it, then just go with it. I mean, most guys would enjoy to finger a girl, so it must be similar...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No I don't think so. It's just funny for me , but my boyfriend love it

  • as devil advocate I am going to disagree. I haven't had any of these problems you guys speak of.

  • This is exactly how we feel like when a guy fingers us while his eyes are glued to out faces the entire time, waiting to See our reaction (which would never come, if you cannot Finger us properly!)

    • Yeah, I was imagining that too lol AWKWARD

    • But, with handjobs, do you enjoy giving them?

  • Lol Sometimes I think a BJ is humiliating to a woman?

  • I think when I was younger I felt cheated with only a handjob. But now I like to lay there and watch her enjoy my cock. Tease it milk it. Stretch it. etc. Of course I would much rather get bj. Or just fuck. But hey. Gimmie a hand job. Let me give her oral. Or use her toys on her. Then we can do something different in phase 2. 😃

  • What if she doesn't look at you? What if she stares at it intently, eager to make it swell and explode, hungrily waiting, what if she couldn't care less about how you feel, she just wants to play with it

  • I can sympathize with you. I don't like them.

  • They don’t really get me off. but i don’t find them humiliating. i mean if she is rimming me, i like her playing with my cock. but i’m not going to cum.

  • They don’t really get me off. but i don’t find them humiliating. i mean if she is rimming me, i like her playing with my cock. but i’m not going to cum.

  • It can be enjoyable if you add massage oil and turn it into a massage. Its gonna feel less sterile then. It also increases the bloodflow to the penis which is good.

  • Nah. Sometimes sucking exhausts your jaw and you need to call in backup. I hate how guys shame us for ever feeling discomfort while gratifying them.

    • I don't think what I did was shaming though. I'm just saying... I'd rather get nothing than a hand job if a blowjob doesn't work for some reason.

  • "It feels like she's some kind of nurse in the hospital who just needs to quickly get me off because the doctor said it would be better for me." You've been watching too much porn.

    • Uh no, I don't watch porn. Not in the last 2 years at least.

  • I have never really liked it that much but couldn't explain why. This explains it perfectly.

  • On I like getting a hand job

    • Well that's pretty much all I get

  • Depends on her. Same with any sex act. If she's not into it it's awkward.

    Tbh I find handjobs the least awkward if she's cheerful but not horny. But anything that they aren't considering at least fun if not hot is worse than jerking off.

    • ^ this! This all the way! :D