Do you enjoy your BDSM/similar relationships?

why? +
how DO such relationships begin... and end?

Inquiring minds what to know !!!
0 3

Most Helpful Girls

  • I’ve only ever been in one. It was with my best friend, but we weren’t a couple. We were just friends with benefits.

    It started out just simple, but we would always ask each other questions, and at one point he was trying to get me to tell him what kind of porn I watched. I was nervous, but when I finally told him BDSM, he started laughing and said it didn’t surprise him because I was so submissive.

    We never did anything too kinky, as we are both poor college students and can’t afford sex toys and stuff, but we did basic stuff. Which made sense because it was both of our first times.

    BDSM requires a lot of trust, and I think my friend and I are closer, even more so than if we just had vanilla sex in our friends with benefits relationship, because of it.

    It’s thrilling, honestly. It’s just something you either like or don’t. And there are tons of different elements to it. Some people like to be choked, some don’t. Some people like pain and some don’t. Some aren’t a fan of the bondage, some are. It’s badically about knowing your partner and learning what they like and what they don’t and having you do the same. So it takes a lot of trust. If my friend is choking me, I have to trust that they know how long I can handle it for.

    So it just sort of starts. Our (sexual) relationship ended because he found a girl he was interested in and he wants to ask her our, so, duh. But, I’m sure if he ever changes her mind or breaks up with her that we’ll be right back at it.

    It takes a ton of trust, but it’s a great way to get to know someone and bond.

  • I used to be highly into the BDSM fetish, not so much these days but I still have a collection of devices and toys tucked away. My current partner is quite conservative so we don't play with it much but when I was dating the guy who got me into BDSM our relationship was pretty normal, we had generic sex from time to time but when we were feeling really kinky we'd go for it.

    I'm usually quite dominant / outspoken, so we usually role swapped and I'd be the submissive. It was an interesting relationship.. How it started? We just dated and then when we began to discuss things we were into he announced he was into that type of stuff, so I figured I'd try it with him and the rest became history. We still had the affection, intimacy and all the other things normal couples have but from time to time we'd spice up our bedroom lives.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Trying to make it short, I would say that BDSM is an intense (really intense) way of loving, and being loved. Sex isn't all the way, it's 50%. Not m0re, not less.

    It start with a woman/man, that is alone, and try to find love. She/he finally finds sombody (no matter how or where). But this woman/man, tend to be a Dom. she/he hasn't to say it. It's in her/his behaviour, mind etc. And if her/his mate tend to be a sub, they'll enjoy being with each other, and D/s realtionship settles in the couple. When the sub ask for being submitted, crave for kneeling (it always comes), then it's done.
    If one isn't a Dom or sub, then the couple doesn't really match, cause the needs of one (or both), are not fulfilled. Then it's a 'try again' result. :-(

    For those that already knows if they are Dom or Sub (I know I'm Dom now), it may be easier to find a Dom or sub, cause they know their needs, then try directly to get in, seeing the response of the partner.
    In addition, you can feel if you have a Dom/sub in front of you. It's a behaviour matter. ;-)

    Are you in?

  • I am sexually submissive but not hard core and yes I thoroughly enjoy domme/sub sessions but I'm too socially dominant to embrace as a lifestyle.
    Dating was uaaually luck of the draw. Before I settled down I would look for self-confident, assertive women. Sometimes they'd be open to being sexually adventurous and dominant sometimes not. After one failure a pal introduced me to a very demure girl. You'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Wrong. Turned out to a tigress who taught me a whole lot.
    Nowadays it's easier on the net. You can be open on social media without the risk of baring your soul face to face. Easier for me to go to the big city for a session with a pro Domme every once in a while. Living in a small rural town!

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 25
  • tbh.. sometimes it just comes out...

    they end when your partner stops respecting your boundaries and ignores your SAFE word.. repeatedly...

  • Yup because I'm free from making choice I can unwind and not worry about anything and trust the person will guide and help me through anything. Strengthening the relationship

  • You go to fetlife. com and meet people in your area and see if they have bdsm events. I would also suggest doing reasearch because if you do not do things properly you can hurt someone and mentally scar them. X-RU is a great bsdsm podcast that I would use as a reasource. It discusses boundaries , safe words , types of play , respect for your partners, etc. This is important because the media and horrible books like 50 shades of grey promote a type of bdsm relationship that isn’t healthy

  • I've never tried one.

  • I personally love them. They begin in many different ways but ultimately both parties have to be okay with the dynamic and what each one wants out of it. Whether it's just in the bedroom or carries over to everyday aspects of life communication is the big thing. What aspect are you interested in?

  • My ex was into it, it was not good, once he cut me in my hand by mistake as he wanted to remove the bond 😑 i have a scar since this 😑😑😑

    • OUCH... idiot he

    • Yes...

    • What a dixk

  • No,
    I love the concept of the D/D roleplay lifestyle relationship however the reality of it is that 99% of people who are heavy into BDSM are trashy people with absolutely no values in life.

  • My relationship was in college, I was first year and he was a senior. Started dating in a vanilla relationship and he introduced spanking and eventually we morphed into BDSM.

    • I had a similar experience.

  • No BDSM for me. Ropes, whips, and chains don’t excite me.

  • Never tried one but would be open

  • I just ask dates if they're into dominating me. Otherwise the relationship is pretty normal.

    Always use a safeword!

  • in the same manner any relationship begins and ends. just there's more to it :)

    but in the bdsm scene people that play together aren't always in a relationship. some people just have play sessions.

    as with everything, it's up to the individual

  • I’m a sub or slave wife who enjoy my lifestyle

  • Yes im a daddy in ddlg relationship

  • Yup it's pretty great all such relationships begin with an open and honest conversation about likes, dislikes, limits, wants, and needs

  • not really very much into BDSM so cannot really answer. love to see replies though :-)

  • wish I had one

  • @athleticmom
    so have you tried any bdsm yet?

  • o yeahhh i enjoy of it ;DDD

  • yes! yes! yes!

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