Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Do you have sex on the second/third date?
Anonymous
I just met this guy twice and we had great times. He asked me to go to his place when the end of our second date, but I refused. And then now he’s asking me to go to his place watching Netflix. Does he just want sex? We met each other on tinder. I don’t mind having sex however I don’t want him consider me easy. I think he should make more effort, and I don’t want this relationship turn to sex only. I’m afraid he’s doing the same to other girls. I don’t know. Now I don’t know how to reply him. What do you think?
Updates:
+1 y
So I told this guy that I’m not looking for hook up. He said “who says anything about hook up?” And he still wants to meet. (But who knows? Maybe he just doesn’t want to admit For I mentioned previously that I don’t mind having sex, I was too easy for my previous date, I didn’t think too much as I’m not that conservative, and I don’t think it’s my lost. However guys seem don’t treat those girls who have sex with them at early stage?
+1 y
Okay so we had dinner yesterday and we talked a lot. And he asked me again if I want to watch that show with him, it was very hard for me to say no, not because I want to go but I’m that kind of person that feel embarrassed to say no to people. So I didn’t answer, just wanted to change topic, but he asked me many times until I mumbled “ok...”, I was thinking to tell him I wanna go home after dinner, but he booked the uber immediately, so yes I didn’t know how to do so I went to his place with him.
+1 y
Update: I told this guy that I don’t want to be one of his casual relationships, especially after seeing so many girl’s stuff at his place. He said he understands but he really likes me. In the end we stopped talking about this. After around two weeks he texted me again and asked me out, might be tomorrow. However I really don’t know what to say actually. Seems we are just not attracted to each other enough to cut off other lines.
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What Girls & Guys Said
72 115Regardless of what he wants its your decision when you're ready and comfortable with that. If he gets annoyed or something when you tell him this then he is not worth it. You dont need to cater to what he wants, you have priority.
usually depends on how we both get on, if we both get on and we are both comfortable and our feelings or desires develop then if we both agreed then only at that point I would, but not if it didn't feel right at that time
Sometimes I do
"Netflix & chill" really does mean to have sex.
Tinder is for fboys and sluts.
With any girl I am dating, with few exceptions, we have sex on the first or second date or there isn't going to be a third date. For each of the longest relationships I've had (marriage if I had asked), we had sex on the first or second date.
But in your case, this guy is only interested in you for sex and he has other women he is having sex with too.
If you want a relationship, the close your tinder account and find a site designed for relationships, not hookups.
That sounds harsh, not everyone is fine with sleeping with a stranger...
@emmily2396 If you don't have sex with a guy you are dating, then some other woman will. Mating selection is a competition and there has been a dramatic shift to the favor of men over the past 50 years because women have gone from being hard to get to being easy. That you don't want to be easy doesn't matter. That is like you don't want to pay $1,200 for a 1-BR apartment. That is the price not because of how much you want to pay, but because that is how much others are willing to pay. How you get through this is to made a decision quickly on whether you like a guy or not. If you like him, then sleep with him. If you don't want to sleep with him, then cut the date short and never see him again. How I got to the 1st or 2nd date sex rule is that I observed that whatever physical was going to happen did so by the 2nd date. We could go on 10 dates, but if we were only holding hands on the 2nd, then on the 10th, we would be only holding hands. Attraction is either there or it isn't.
You are speaking like we are animals... Wtf? I would only sleep with someone I love and i have a relationship with and plenty of people would do tge same It a very desperate think to reject someone because they refused to sleep with you, a total stranger. If they didn't allow you into their heart why would they allow you into their bodies? We are humans, we don't date just for sex whichbisn't a priiority If a guy rehected me becaise i didn't want to seep with him soon after we met i would think he's desperate abd it is better this way because if you sleep tgis easily with someone then you can do the same if we were together.
@emmily2396 When it comes to mating, humans are animals. We use a variety of mating strategies because no one is best for all situations. "It a very desperate think to reject someone because they refused to sleep with you" Not at all. That is merely not wasting one's time and money. It doesn't make sense to invest months of time and thousands of dollars wooing a girl, not knowing if anything is ever going to come of it. That is time wasted that could have been spent with someone not so prudish. If a girl doesn't want to sleep with me right away, then I move on to the next girl in line. There is always someone else ready and willing. YOU may not like this idea that women are cheap, but it is women who cheapened themselves. Men would not expect women to have sex right away if so many women didn't have sex right away. You can do or not do as you please. But you should know that if a guy asks you to his place on the first or second date, he expects you will have sex.
The real question is why are feeling you are wasting time? You can find some incompatibility at any time, not just in the beginning. And why would you allow in your body someone you didn't allow in your heart? That is the reason many people wouldn't be comfortable sleeping with a strangers. Aren't you wasting time if you start a relationship with someone and then realise you aren't compatible? You could throw away someone who is actually compatible with you just because they don't act like sleeping around. Also, some people are virgins, it would be ridiculous to expect that from them. Don't worry, I wouldn't date someone who sleeps around for obvious reasons
@emmily2396 "The real question is why are feeling you are wasting time?" Because the girl one is dating would expect the guy not to be sleeping with other women during that time. "some people are virgins" The only virgins I have ever dated since high school are Asian, and their being a virgin has never mattered. They were happy to have sex on the first or second date. Within a few minutes of meeting one girl in person (online contact), she said, "I am a virgin and am saving myself for my wedding night, so no sex." On our second date, when she was in the Woman on Top position, I asked her, "I thought you were saving yourself for your wedding night?" She replied, "Oh, forget it!" Only about 2.5% of women in the US are virgins when they get married. But the average age of a virgin marriage is 19. The average age for first marriage overall is 27. They are not having sex later, they are just getting married earlier. But getting married younger dramatically increases the divorce rate.
@emmily2396 I have a dear high school friend who is a devout Catholic. Within a couple weeks of graduating college, she married her boyfriend as a virgin. Ten years later, she was agonizing that she wanted out. She couldn't reconcile her unhappiness with not being able to divorce. She finally did violate the Church and divorced him. She told me her mistake was in not having sex with him in college. She said if she had, then she would not have felt the need to get married right away, and would have broken up with him without the pain and children involved. If you want to follow an ancient practice of being a virgin when you get married, fine, but follow it all, don't pick and choose. Get married at 15 and plan to die before you turn 40.
Yes I’ve closed my account. I used tinder coz I met my previous boyfriend on tinder and he’s really a nice guy. He was looking for hook up which I didn’t know, but he treats me seriously.
"He said" Men tell women what they want to hear. If a girl told me "I’m not looking for hook up.", and I wasn't interested in her for a relationship, I would have ignored it, had sex with her (on the first or second date), and depending on how it went, maybe another time or two, then dump her and move on.
That’s very bad of you! Why would you do that? Maybe a lot of guys are like you though, I can’t understand.
By the way he is speaking he is not thinking with his brain much. He only thinks about himself and sex... no self control, empathy, etc.
You aren't ready to have sex with him on the third date. That's fine, tell him that. If that's a deal breaker for him, then at least you know what he really wanted.
The answer easy. It’s all depends on what you want. Sure, taking girl home can be a sign but then it may not. If he understand he would accept the conditions but it’s tender. Most people use it as a sex sight. But that’s my opinion.
How did it go?
Why do people seem to think that tinder is for meaningful relationships? The whole point of the app to begin with was for casual sex. That's why you swipe left or right on a licture instead of reading a profile. Stop using tinder incorrectly and you won't be in this mess
No, I've never had sex that early on.
Sounds he's not the right person to keep seeing if you know that's a red flag already
Ew no no never. Way too soon for me. I'd only have s*x with a person I've been in a committed relationship with for a year at least.
He does want sex, but he does not necessarily ONLY want sex.
If you mean business, then dont be easy for him. That way, you'll see if he cares about you
I wait 60 days before I have sex with a guy. You dont know him. He could rape you. Dont go to his place!!
Your concerns are valid. But that someone wants sex doesn't mean that it's all they want. If you're interested in him, what of you suggest some other activity for the date instead? It doesn't appear like you've let him know what you're looking for.
Yes you’re so right.
After third date if still chemistry, it's time to have the talk about intentions. Go on a traditional date, low key, and you'll have an opportunity to bring it up
I agree with your thought process on this
I think you should wait until after you're married. Not even on the honey moon. You should wait a couple months after that just to be safe.
Stop playing these stupid games, and fuck him if your clitoris is tingling.
I'd only have sex in a relationship with someone I love.
If you're fine with it then I don't see the problem. But guys usually commit to those that are a bit harder to get. It doesn't apply for all of them though.
Yes I have.
Not to say that you have to, but Tinder is kind of a hook up app