Do you like being the one in control during sex or the one being controlled, as in dominant versus submissive?

[laurieluvsit]

How did you develop into being that way?

[MrOracle]

I've always been a leader, and always been a bit of a "control enthusiast" (but not in a bad way, and often it's more about control of ME). When I was younger, my traditional upbringing and lack of confidence prevented me from really embracing my dominant side, though it came out a few times (seemingly out of nowhere at the time).

I didn't fully embrace being dominant until my mid-20s, but it was still more of a private, in the bedroom thing that I didn't really talk about until my 30s, when I kind of found the BDSM community and really learned the language, and definitely found out that I wasn't alone.

For the last 15+ years, I've pretty much only dated women who were acknowledged submissives - it's what I naturally attract anyway, though I occasionally attract an outwardly-dominant girl who WANTS to be "forced" into submission - a girl who knows she crosses the line and wants a strong man to keep her in check. The dynamic there is definitely different, but also good.

I am laid back, but I am definitely NOT submissive at all. I just don't have a drop of submissiveness in me. I've always been a take-charge kind of guy and always quickly find myself in a leadership position in almost anything I do.

[djmzes]

Simple

[TarrAva]

Most of the time I like to be in control because I know what I want, how I want it and how long I like to be pleased that way.

I usually like to start the sex play the same way I eat my meals. I keep the best for the end. I want to be kissed on every inch of my erogenous zones, a soft and tender kiss to get me started like an old diesel engine that needs a long warm-up time to be fully running smoothly, kind of!

Once the partner has me started, then I let myself be surprised yet I give subtle hints with body movements which part of my body I like to be next in line for a treat.

That game can go on for a more or less long period of time, depending on my mood and the proficiency of the partner handling me.

I can, however, also be the submissive person if need be, but in this case mostly to give some confidence to a partner that maybe a little on the shy side and needs a boost.

And now, I need to cool down a little, just like an overheated engine!

[brennanhuff]

I always see control as in on top and dominance. But your explanation of control sounds like just control of what you want, but not control as in being on top and ravaging the guy. I often see that as in control.

[cheerleader17]

im an independent and strong person but in bed i like finding an even stronger man than me (kinda like that one picture ) i always joke with guys that they can’t boss me around (and they usually can’t) but it’s fun to let them take control in bed and make me plead

[cheerleader17]

like it’s fun for a guy to “force” me into submission

[laurieluvsit]

Yes! So just like the 2nd picture... strong but looking for "stronger'

[cheerleader17]

EXACTLY

[ShiningWalwus]

@cheerleader17 "cant"

[brennanhuff]

well I guess they can boss you around, because they make you their bitch in bed... I find that interesting with strong, often sassy, independent women feeling they are the alpha and such. When you being submissive in bed, makes you like many typical women. The boss bitch is the one ravaging the guy in bed or at least a switch, If you prefer being being submissive or mostly submissive, then you're not really one who can't be bossed around. You like and love to be bossed around

[ZiZi_Bell]

Switch but generally more dominant. Lol

[bizmarkee]

Sexy pictures. I'm dominant. EXTREMELY dominant.

[Rexnine9]

I'm more self-conscious being Dom. I don't want to get to far out of character.. l like SUB. More I being too when to cum and how.

;-) REXI

[Rexnine9]

*like being told

[dragonfruitA]

Submissive, but I'll take more control once I learn more about sex. ;)

[Banyan]

I like being a switch, specifically fighting for dominance and sometimes winning and sometimes losing. It makes the feeling of raveging or being ravaged much much more satisfying

[Dom_Raechal]

Sounds cool

[JxrdN]

It is very possible to be quite good at both. Depends on the girl for me, however I can go either way.

[Femdomina]

I'm dominant, obviously.

[Valina]

Definitely depends, switching it up makes things more fun. But I'm mostly submissive.

[Ellie-V]

I enjoy both equally when I am with a man. But with a woman, I lean a little more in the dominant side.

[laurieluvsit]

You are my kind of girl Ms Ellie! ... lol

[Ellie-V]

Thank you ☺️

[brennanhuff]

laurieluvsit- so what's the reason or how did you develop being the way you like to be, whether it's submissive, dominant or both? I'll explain my answer after you answer. I'm a switch, but it wasn't always that way. I used to many moons ago, as a teenager have more dominant fantasies, and desire banging a girl anally for some reason. Funny thing is, things have changed and have stayed to where I like both sides of dominance and submission. And I also could care less about anal sex with a woman. I'd do it if she wanted, but could care less. Not anything to do with a bad experience banging a girl, it just shows how some people's desires and fantasies can change over time. Though my desires and fantasies have kind of stayed roughly the same since like 20 and I don't think will change as far as being a switch and stuff that seems hot to me. I didn't answer why that changed or developed that way, but will. Just wondering what made it be that way for you.

[laurieluvsit]

@brennanhuff It didn't really develop any way that I know of, I am just a natural submissive during sex but for non-sex stuff I can be very assertive. I have tried being dominant for guys that wanted me to try it for them but I failed to do good at it. My only slight success is with very feminine girls that are maybe even more feminine that I am, then it is easier. Hope I answered your question :)

[brennanhuff]

Why did you fail at it? You lacked the aggression or confidence to dominate a guy? Did they let you take over? I like to dominate and be submissive and depends on my mood and the girl. And sex where neither is dominating. I like hard, rough and I do like the tlc sex too. But I actually got into women being dominant, well specifically in the ravaging sex. The mind control and typical female dominance stuff doesn't turn me on. But I find female dominance in the sense I explained, is actually because of how male dominant porn is, and sex scenes and just the perception in general. So as a result, it's made me more interested of the other side. Many guys I think like being more dominant or their dominance turned up a knotch because of porn and bad sex info they learn. And just culture feeds whatever is natural to be be amped up I think, but this actually does the reverse. Like porn is sooooo male dominat, meaning the far majority if stuff is male dominant. The expectations, ads, you name it

[laurieluvsit]

@brennanhuff You're good at what you have a passion for. My passion is being submissive. I do not enjoy being dominate is all. If you like both, that is great :)

[brennanhuff]

So as a result, female dominance is like that interesting change up to me. I'm a person who gets bored easily, so I naturally gravitate to what is seen less of, if that makes sense. It become more fascinating or interesting. Like I love pizza, but if I worked at a pizza shop and ate or saw pizza all the time. Other food would be more appealing and interesting to me as a result of the over abundance and redundancy of the same stuff around me all the time. That's what it's like with visual medium and always the dude ravaging the chick like 90% of the time it seems and expression, etc. I feel, in a parallel universe and things were flipped in reverse with humans and most stuff was female dominance with porn, culture, expectation, etc. I'd probably be into male dominance as a result, because it would be the more "rare" thing, thus more intriguing to me.

[brennanhuff]

sorry I explained a little more of why as well, I like both, but why changed over time to liking female dominance. Hope you see that comment as well. What you think of my explanation to that? Does that make sense in a way? My last comment seemed to come in a minute after you responded to my first reply

[laurieluvsit]

@brennanhuff Yes, I see what you are saying. Sounds good to me :)

[CarpetDenim]

Both, but I almost always prefer being controlled

[Finchie40]

I prefer both, i am more dominate in bed but like when she takes over at times as well , fucking. hot

[Finchie40]

What do you prefer @laurieluvsit

[Jesslin412]

I’ve never had sex but I’m gonna want him in control. Dominant man is sexy

[aa180]

I'm one of those rare aliens who doesn't think of sex as having anything to do with control or power, but instead thinks of sex as simply enjoying each other's bodies and being in the moment.

[Factshurt90]

this exactly

[aa180]

@Factshurt90 thank you

[JosyJosy]

I like to be in control :)

[Anpu23]

I switch, I'm probably naturally dominant. My first sexual fantasies involved women in cages, yet I had a very violent encounter which left me pretty F'd up emotionally. And sub space is a safe place to explore those feelings and experiences.

[John83]

Both. I usually take control, but when my girlfriend is in the mood, she sometimes fights back for control and I love pretending to be overpowered by her and then submitting to her.

[Vickykick]

I choose to be dominant now that i have seen all your carefully selected pictures! 😜😲

[TaureanBull81]

I like to switch from dominant to submissive and vice versa depending on the partner I'm going to have sex with 😉

[lilpink]

we are equals :) !

[genericname85]

i don't really like "control" in either direction. i like assertiveness and taking the lead from both sides.