Sexual Relationships
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Do you think BDSM or even rough sex, is only for emotionally damaged people?

What do you think? Is it sex, or are people expressing like deep needs and all that? I would vote a little. I know rough sex isn't on the same planet as BDSM, but... how do you think they're different or similar?
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+1 y
I have fantasies about BDSM and rough sex and have done things... I honestly would say I did feel emotionally better or worked through things with them sometimes. So... is that bad?
1 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • no, of course not. I mean, there of course will be exceptions to this where someone who is interested in BDSM is simply repressing or using it as a mechanism to cope with previously having been abused and whatnot but, for the most-part, those in the BDSM community are completely mentally sound.

    The bondage+masochism aspects are generally used to push boundaries. To get some thrills from breaking societal norms. To get that rush from making a reality out of what is still largely viewed as very taboo and not only 'escaping', but actually somewhat enjoying it. Nothing in that regard sounds 'mentally deranged' to me.

    Dominance/submission, on the other hand, is simply another dynamic between two people. Some relationships have one person being wholly dominant with the other being a total sub. Others have both individuals on pretty level playing fields. If there happens to be a couple where one is definitely holding the reins and the sub is completely comfortable with this, them practicing BDSM is simply a way in which they can carry over this perfectly naturally-occurring (and non-deranged) dynamic into the bedroom.

  • My guess is that it almost always has something to do with emotional damage. I've taken psychology and honestly most people do have "problems" because most families that people are raised in are dysfunctional in some way which leads to bad relational health. Your relationships with your family often determine how your future relationships with others will operate. But it's really a number of factors, your model of relationships, your environments, broader cultural socialization, and personal temperament all are factors that play off of one another.

    I lacked a strong father-figure growing up and he was also kind of psychologically abusive, and yes I'm into BDSM and rough stuff. Is that why? It's hard to say, but I don't see it as a bad thing.

  • Not always the case. My partner and I are no where near being "emotionally damaged" in anyway. In regards to BDSM, that's not exactly our personal taste. However, every one in a while, we like to dabble in a little rough housing.

  • Never thought about it this way, but I am very much into rough sex and a bit of BDSM here and there, and i definitely classify as emotionally damaged. Interesting thought.

    • Really into bdsm? Are you Dom or sub?

    • Only like a bit, nothing too crazy. I'm sub

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm heavy in the BDSM community. I have been for about 20yrs as well.

    Honestly saying. MOST people into BDSM do have an extremely unhealthy outlook on life or are emotionally driven by the the BDSM in a negative way.
    The majority of people into certian BDSM fetishes also are just victims of becoming obsessed with something and it's somehow attached to their sexuality.
    There are countless fetishes for that.

    Furries are a good example. This is the fetish where people dress up as an animal and play the role as the animal in sex. A lot of them will have the same character almost like a second personality to themselves. There is nothing wrong with that on the surface HOWEVER. 999 out of 1,000 people into furry are extremely obsessed with ANIME and particularly anime with little fox characters or animals. They are not really into it sexually. they are obsessed with being a cartoon character.

    Anyway, the majority of people into fetishes are due to an unhealthy phsychological reason.

    THUS why 99% of transvestites are in the BDSM community as well.

    • So honest and great information, but obsessions... so do you think the BDSM is about pleasure at all, or is it's mostly emotional? Like I think sexual pleasure helps, because it's like you get pleasure even while you're being 'bad'.

    • It depends on the particular fetish and what you consider pleasure. Some people get sexual pleasure from control, humiliation, pain, fear, vulnerability, etc. There is science to pain = pleasure though.

  • Yes. I think its a healthy way to deal with psychological problems. I find it to be a healthy outlet. As long as its consensual obviously.

    • Like the honesty.

    • Thank you. I won't go into it much but I've been sexually abused and Im into BDSM. I think its a healthy way to heal from stuff like that

    • I think lots of people who haven't been sexually about like it too. But... you can have other emotions that need to be expressed.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 23

  • Total BS. It's just a feel good. Endorphins.

    • Most BDSM doesn't release Endorphins. Ropeplay, etc.

    • @GraveTruth well true, however my vision on bdsm is what I was referring to and I tend to be a slight pain junkie, so yeah endorphins. I still call BS though. Doesn't make someone emotionally damaged. It's just what people get off on. I'm sure there are just as many "emotionally damaged" people practicing vanilla sex.

    • Oh, I don't know about that, miss. I've been to a lot of different munches and fetish parties and I've never seen such a sad group of people. If you head over to fetlife. com I'm sure you'll get a taste of it.

    • Show All

  • I've never done it, but I love the idea of vampires :-)

    • Do it, and you'll forget about it :P

    • I love making girls look at themselves in in the mirror with only a dim light over them. I come from behind the and caress their body and build them up then end it with a deep hard bite to their neck. Thank you vampires lol

    • Only if you can conceal the bite mark by licking it...

    • Show All

  • Depend on the type of BDSM... obviously the severe stuff is for the Fucked up. As seen the 50 shades of gray.

    Tying up, candles and little spanking isn't bad. The hanging from hooks, flogging (leaving welts are for the deranged) As a person that was severely abused as a child its insulting to think its fun... just like the girl that want to be raped. Just let me get a complete stranger to grab you and do what "THEY want" and see if it's what you really want, BS.

    Most of the little BDSM stuff is about the teasing/anticipation.. which IS exciting. Also it's about the sub... giving pleasure to the dom... by "Letting" them do it.

    • 50 shades of gray is an awful example for bdsm.

    • @GraveTruth It didn't how most of the regular stuff. It really showed the interaction "outside" of the room. At the end it shows what "I consider... the extreme". Most important thing is to trust the one you are with... and have set boundaries/safe words.

  • No - I disagree with that

  • Not really. I like BDSM and I am not emotionally damaged.

  • I think if you are drawn to that kink, it is not because you are "emotionally damaged". Maybe because you are kinky in nature.
    There are some people that need that kind of stimulation to enjoy sex.

  • No, but damaged people do tend to enjoy BDSM quite a lot.

  • I don't believe so no.

  • Why are we taking this so seriously?

    Why are we tying ourselves up in knots of Angst? [Pun intended]

    Isn't the bedroom just another playground? It's good to go back to being five, relaxing and having fun. Do you remember fun?

    Right, wrong, emotionally damaged, emotionally normal, the badge of society's approval, the badge of society's disapproval.

    If nobody dies, or is hurt, then who gives a damn?

  • I don't judge people by it's cover.

  • Other emotionally damaged people will cringe by the suggestion of it. So will many non emotionally damaged people.

  • No but I know a lot of people see us that way

  • Each to their own if i had a girl, the sex would be slow with deep
    loving meaning for her. I don't judge what others do so i can't
    say whether it's damaging or not.

  • I'm not damaged and I'm a virgin. Strength turns me on so if a guy is rough it's a major turn on.

  • No. People have fantasies; simple as simple gets.

    BDSM encompasses more than just rough sex. It's an umbrella term for a bunch of things. I swear, a friend of mine said that BDSM is just "pain stuff" and I wanted to bop her in the head because that's a lot of ignorance coming from a self proclaimed expert.

  • With BDSM yes that's what seems to be the trend.

  • BDSM is badass!!

  • i dont think so
    i love BDSM/rough sex, but not because of that.

  • What needs?

  • that's bullshit

  • Show More (15)

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