Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Does sex cloud your judgement too early in a relationship?
Queen_naki5 Yoda
If you had sex too early in a relationship, do you feel like it clouds your judgement? Can you just be in love with the sex and not really the person? What do you think?
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What Girls & Guys Said
8 20Emotions do, sex can help. cloud your judgement buuuuut chancds are its probably clouded by feelings...
What I wonder is if you have sex early on and your partner wasn't pleased, will they give you another shot or just ditch you and think something's wrong with you because you're bad at sex.
That's a good question...
The reason I ask is because last week there was this girl I was seeing who I had a ton in common with , but it was very messed up. She invited me over to her place and we hung out, cuddled, went to the bar and had sex when we came back. But right before we had sex, I found an empty condom wrapper that wasn't mine. I didn't say anything about it but she knew I saw it and still let me have sex with her right afterwards. She ended it a little early and said she still wanted to continue but didn't want her roommate seeing her.
And then I sent a text saying hey what's up 3 days later, got no response. 3 days later I call her and then she texts me 10 hours later saying sorry to be blunt but I'm not interested in pursuing this. She did get out of a 5 year relationship but it makes me wonder if she's mad I found the condom wrapper in her bed or if she thought I was so bad at sex.
It's not even about the condom wrapper and apparently she just didn't care that you found it. She was having sex with others as well or maybe the ex and her still have occasional hookups and she was just testing the waters a bit by going out there. It had very little if not anything to do with you. You were a good time at the moment and it didn't even have to be that the sex was bad, it's clear that she's just not over her ex. It happens and in a sense rejection is a lousy feeling but it's not you.
Yeah it was just shitty because she invited me over. I should not date anyone on the rebound. I was just cautious when seeing her and she didn't really bring up the ex like the last person I got rebounded by did. It just sucks when you have so much in common and get along quite well because that can overshadow everything. There weren't any red flags until then.
It's always a process. It's hard to weed that out initially but I can kind of understand why some men are emotionally dead to women in the beginning...
Yeah this is exactly why I don't take online dating seriously. Too many flaky people on there. It's like dating should be fun, not a headache and an extraction of self esteem. Honestly I don't even get attached easily but when you find someone you have a ton in common with and bond over things in addition to physical attraction. Not to put her on a pedestal. But it was relieving to find someone like that as opposed to someone who has nothing in common and doesn't do much to further the convo. Ya know what I mean?
I think dating someone on the rebound can put you on the rebound yourself, once it ends that is.
I know what you mean. Luckily, you're gonna meet a lot of people that you may have a lot in common with, it doesn't actually mean that you belong with them... just let it come naturally.
True, I still got led on big time though which isn't cool.
It's not, but I am a firm believer of karma...
Yeah and one thing that really pisses me off is when I talk about situations like this and some people say oh you're a whiny, entitled "nice guy". It's like get the fuck out of here, being nice has nothing to do with this. Maybe we just don't start shit until someone starts shit with us and don't like having our feelings fucked with. I'm the type of person who doesn't look for problems if they don't exist or until there's signs.
Because people lack empathy until they're in a situation like such. You're right, it's not about being nice, it's about having the decency to not lead a person on if you're not interested. C'mon we're all just people...
Yeah exactly. It's like why waste my time with someone who's so wishy washy, blowing hot and cold , or not interested when I could be with someone who is. It's like they make us feel guilty in the end when it's their fault for not stating how they feel or revealing their intentions.
It's almost like others make people feel like they're undesirable because they don't know how to play their fucked up mind games.
I guess how we take it can play a significant role. Like yeah it's totally fucked up, but at the same time, we can do better and we know deep down what we deserve.