Guys, Found out my boyfriend was going to happy ending massage. He says it was for cheap massage & he didn't cheat. Is it possible he is honest?

I'm not this dumb but sometimes we go into denial and I think I'm there. I found out my boyfriend was sexting female friends and asking them for sex. I couldn't confirm whether any of them took him up on the offer to meet or have sex. It looks like no one did.. I also found out that he has been making weekly trips to Asian massage parlors. Ones that are listed on rubmaps with reviews saying they offer full service with sex. And these places have Google reviews saying they are happy ending parlors. And he also has a subscription on his phone to rubmaps that costs $20 a month. He claims the sexting was all talk and if he were presented with the opportunity to cheat he wouldn't. He said he was going to the massage parlors for cheap massages and used rubmaps to find places to get cheap massages. So then why pay for the premium membership that shows the reviews? And he didn't mention he was going for these massages. We live together and if we go out we mention where. Why say you are going to the post office and home depot and leave out the part about getting a massage if it is an innocent massage? This is really hard to believe but he is insisting I believe him. He has been very neglectful of me and I didn't understand why until I found out about this stuff. But I'm feeling like I am in denial and he is insisting it is innocent.
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Superb Opinion

  • What's your relationship like in general with him? Do you have enough sex together (ie is he satisfied? Or do/have you had sex yet?). Might be worth a talk with him as this is likely the "root" of this. As far as the sexting, why he would do that period is the question? I'm not surprised though that nobody took him up on it (remember it's women and not many women are just going to do that with someone that isn't their boyfriend lol, at least what most say). For the parlors, I don't know what country you're in, or what the Asian parlors are like there, but I've been to ones in Canada and the USA and any that I've been to NO sex happens. You get a hj and that's it. And it's very impersonal usually (ie, for these women it's their JOB, and you are very much treated that way usually, meaning they have no desire to have sex with the clients - now maybe it does happen in some places, but I'm guessing it's not common like a lot of women think. I've been several times and never been offered sex in any that I've been to. If that eases your mind any?). But yeah I'd just talk with him about all this (not fight, calmly). Tell him if he wants a massage to come to you! Let him know it bothers you. If he cares at all about you, he'll do something about it because he care about your feelings. If he won't, then it just shows you how selfish he is and how little he cares and then you can ask yourself... why am I with this guy?

    • Thank you. So we hadn't been having much sex. I'm the one who seems to want it a lot more than him. He always turned me down. And I was very confused thinking maybe he just didn't like sex. And I think I am pretty attractive. Then I find out he's been sexting friends this whole time while I've been going without sex. And I looked at rub maps at some of the reviews of the parlors he goes to and it says some masueses there provide full sex and blow jobs. Other just do massage. He claims it was only massage. He wants another chance. Our sex life has improved a little lately. But I just don't know how I can believe him that he didn't physically cheat. And I don't really know what the root of the problem is.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well he's almost certainly getting a happy ending if nothing else, but asides from that the chatting to and asking for sex from friends should be enough for you to decide that it's over. Have some respect for yourself, he's treating you like a fool. Get over his and move on, he has not respect for you.

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What Guys Said

(12)
  • His actions alone are enough to say he's cheating on you. sexting with other women is cheating.

  • I don't know. I think it is inappropriate for anyone to get a massage from someone else when they are in a relationship.

  • If he was getting happy endings, he was cheating.

  • If it's not cheating I don't know what iS?

  • Ur just in denial and are afraid of losing him

  • Why would he lie? And yes, it is cheating.

  • Definitely getting a happy ending

  • Don't believe a word of it. Time to move on imfao. He's obviously an untrustworthy cheat

  • He cheated by even getting involved

  • I regularly go to happy ending massages. My (ex) girlfriend knew and was ok with it. She came to watch a couple times. I also took her to have massage multiple times. A masseur fingered her to orgasm and a masseuse went down on her. I was present and fucked her right there. We also used to go for couple massage and bot got happy end or were left alone to fuck at the end of the massage.

    Still I often went by myself mostly when we were apart for work reasons. She always knew and more then once actually told me to go. Would most times ask how it was. Also told me I was free to get bjs in those occasions if offered. All of this she did not consider cheating. But made very clear I should never fuck a masseuse. And while we were together I never did.

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