Friends with benefits and he has a girlfriend.

Question

Friends with benefits:  Is it a good idea? He has a girlfriend and I want him something awful. We have fooled around before a little, but nothing to this extreme. He is interested in me and I have known him for forever. He already has a relationship that he is happy with and I just want some loving from him every now and again. We have talked about having sex in the past and he wanted me a couple of weeks ago, but I refused. I have been thinking about it and friends with benefits sounds like it might work.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have been the other woman.  It's not that great.  At first, I was getting back at the *cough whore *cough that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with and then got with after I broke up with him.  But I stooped to that girl's level and became the whore and didn't like it.  I got her back and was friends with benifits with my ex, but it just hurt me in the end.  He never came back to me, I turned into the booty call.  Don't be that other girl.  This guy, he is sleezy for cheating on his girlfriend.  If he is happy in his relationship, even if he is cheating, he isn't going to leave her for you.  Us woman should stick together and not let men cheat, especially when we know they have a girlfriend (and vice versa guys).  If you want lovin', go find it elsewhere, because what you are getting doesn't belong to you.

April · Accepted Answer

I would never want to be the other woman. In theory the whole friends with benefits thing sounds like such a good idea, but as humans we have feelings and as far as what I've seen- someone always ends up getting hurt. Whether it's you, him or his girlfriend. I wouldn't want to be partially responsible for causing unnecessary heart ache. I suggest finding someone single to get some loving from. If he's a real "friend" you wouldn't want to put him in a situation which requires him being dishonest to his girlfriend. OR someday when you're in a relationship would you want your man to have a friend with benefits? What goes around comes around. Think about it.

mugglesam · Accepted Answer

I think it's cool that you are thinking about this ahead of time instead of rushing in and causing all kinds of hurt for yourself. Thinking about doing something immoral is not immoral - it's only in the actions that we define ourselves.

I'm amazed by the number of women who post here with comments that basically mean: Wow, he wants to have sex with me, guess I should since a man wanting a woman (me) is so amazing. He's a guy. Of course he wants to have sex with you. I'm sure lots of guys do. Don't be amazed by that -use it to your advantage by being picky and finding the one who will be best for you emotionally and physically.

sexwiseman · Accepted Answer

FWB are such a complex issue. Even when you don't know the person emotions get in the way. In your specific case, you already know him, so later on, it might come back to haunt you, as you might get more emotionally attached than what you already are. Based on that don't do it.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that what you're doing is morally wrong, but since people are selfish and don't respect relationships nowadays, no surprise there.

Quackpotty · Answer

Nope, it's never a good idea. Without a SOLID relationship, it will only lead to hurt and heartache. If you can't be friends and only friends, you need to break it off with him. His girlfriend will be hurt by this, and this guy doesn't deserve her. If he's cheating on her, he'll likely cheat on you too. He's not worth your time. Don't make that mistake, it'll only hurt you in the long run.