Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I'm 18 years old.. and I'm a virgin (I'm saving for the wedding) i have a friend and he has sex, he goes to clubs and yh.. One time we were talking and I said maybe we can be more then friends (not boyfriend and girlfriend).. i like his body he likes mine.. but without sex.. is it like.. normal? Like is there something we can do besides sex (or going down on each other)
If your friend suggested this to you (and you know she will not have sex) what would you think? Or what would you do with her? I want him to touch me and everything but just not sex..
Guys, Friends with benefits?
Anonymous
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What Guys Said
(21)Yes that sounds fun and cool. You can do many things without having actual penetration and protecting your virginity. However keep your limits if you want to protect it until marriage. You can enjoy oral sex touching and other things.
Going down on each other IS having sex. Don't kid yourself.
I said I won't do that lol
I have known girls that would allow a guy to have anal intercourse with them and they still considered themselves "virgins".
But anal is like sex..
I agree, it's just how women can rationalize crazy shit.
I guess you could have it be strictly oral, and if you get more tempted to go further than go for it.
Tbh id be kind of confused about a no sex friends with benefits offer unless they explained what they wanted
Do you think he would say no Like if a girl would say this to you would you jump on the opportunity? Because in the beginning he showed interest he said we can do lots of things not everything is about sex and stuff and yh.. But then he said it's fine I like you you don't have to do that and stuff.. But i want to why does he think I'm doing it for him?
I personally have only been in long term relationships and have no friends with benefits experiences. I personally would be ok with it and at least give it a shot. I dont think he will say no as long as you both are getting some sort of sexual release.
Thank you! I hope you are right
Worth experimenting and seeing where things go. Just gotta make sure you make your boundaries and wants clear. Everyone needs some sexual pleasure one way or another
Lol yh I know Thanks a lot💙
No problem hopefully you get what you are looking for/needing :)
💙😊💪
Haha :)
What if things get out of hand?
I don't think they will and if they do.. then.. I don't know i hope they won't.. cuz I've been strong for so long lol
But what if he wants more?
He knows I'm saving for the wedding..
Oh ok
what is another word for ''going down''?
I said what other things can we do besides sex and going down on each other I don't want to go down on him or him on me..
it's all sexual in nature. i saw it explained this way: People who have engaged in sex—including oral sex, anal sex, or masturbating another person—cannot say that they are virgins. even if you disagree about ''masturbating another person'' think of what it could lead to. or do you mean activities that aren't sexual?
Yes those things I know they are sexual But I mean just kissing cuddling touching but not something like.. you know
honestly? i'd avoid making out.
Everything start like that, but if one time you accept it allways going like that
What do you mean?
İf you one time make oral sex you gonna want more.
women are so complicated🤦♂️
Howw?
You want it, then again you don't. You're so confused about what exactly you want. Close your eyes and try to feel the situation on your behalf and from his side. How would he feel when he's in middle of kissing and touching your body, super horny but can't have sex! I don't think it will go well and also I don't think there's not MUCH left for "saving for wedding". If you want to save for wedding SAVE IT ALL otherwise have fun. Don't worry about saving.
Lots of girls save for the wedding and do other stuff.. (the thing about saving for the wedding for me is not just saving your body for your husband but also for not being able to compare him to other guys in bed..) I wouldn't want my husband thinking in his head that his ex was better or something.. I want him 100% but I also made an oath to my self that I wouldn't have sex before the wedding, so I'm trying to.. Not do it but still release some hormones..
I had a girl that wouldn't let me to have sex but let me kiss wildly and touch her body except her boobs and pussy, of course with her clothes on. She wouldn't put her clothes off but loved to touch my body. But we were in a relationship. She didn't want to lose her virginity before marriage and I respect that. Point is we weren't just friends.
I'm so happy to hear that!! So it can work? Are you still together? And how did you agreed to date her knowing you wouldn't have sex?
In other words, you don't have the discipline to save all of this for your husband. This is common in this culture. An inability to delay gratification, make a sacrifice, and an inability to be disciplined. What's the point of all of this ''saving it for the wedding'' if you are going to be sharing your body with some friend?
I know you are right like really a lot but I have few reasons 1. I like him a lot and i want him to like me back and maybe if we try this he will.. maybe 2. I don't want us to lose touch i needed to think of something fast.. and I want him 3. If maybe we will get married he would be the only person who touched me like that..
1) If you feel the need to do something sexual to get a guy to like you, then it's already a failure. Trying to buy affection always fails. Women fail at it, and nice guys fail at it. 2) This is basic lust and desire. 3) Your very short description of the guy tells me 100% he will never marry you. Above are rationalizations to avoid sacrificing dopamine (pleasure) for your future marriage.
Damn harsh Thanks for being honest I know it's lame trying to get a guy like that.. But I don't see any other way.. I know he is looking for a serious relationship and if he would just see me as more then a little sister maybe we will have the chance.. You really don't think he would go with me?
If you don't see any other way, then it means you need to work on yourself more, develop your self, discover who you are, and what you bring to the world beyond your looks and sex appeal. This is to be expected at your age anyway. You say ''I know he is looking for a serious relationship'' Then what's he doing in the clubs? why is he hooking up? The guy will have sex with you, or do sexual things with you, but he will not commit to you. But he will probably tell you he will. Far too many women do not take the time to identify their value beyond sex. Essentially, all you are looking for is a dopamine hit. Often this hides our truer desires that lie behind it. In order to find that, we need to go beyond our lust and desires.
How do I do that? He is going to the club because he doesn't have a girlfriend yet so why not.. And I don't have time to show him that I'm more then just body.. I know that's what he wants and before I get rejected I give him something that he wants and then when he is not going anywhere I can you know let him get to know me better.. I know it's messed up to think that way but I love him..😞
And I really appreciate you answering me! Like really it means a lot
Anyone looking for something serious will not go to clubs. People go to clubs to hook up and have ONS. They are also low vibrational places too. Every single guy I knew at college would go to clubs strictly to meet girls for casual sex. ''before I get rejected I give him something that he wants'' Above is a scarcity mindset. You are also confusing lust and infatuation for love.
So what do I do?
Act from wisdom, insight and intuition, rather than from the mind.
Yh.. ok.. I guess you are right.. thanks
There are no mistakes, only decisions made with, or without wisdom.
I was in something like that ones I would give her oral and then masterbate myself
But what if i don't want oral either?
You could just like watch each other masturbate or something then
That's it? Is there something else?😅
You could have play with your breast
Do you think he would jump on the idea?
Yeah why not
I don't know he can just go to the club and get it all