Sexual Relationships 
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She responded that if a guy says that to a girl, it constitutes rape! I tried to explain that any girl presented with that ultimatum can walk away and not have sex, so there is no element of force or coercion and it is not rape. She INSISTED that is certainly is rape, so I suggested that I would pose this question and she gave me permission to disclose her user name when I posted the question.
I am NOT trying to defend a guy giving a girl this ultimatum. I have never done anything like that. I think it's stupid and disrespectful. . . but I don't think it's rape. What do you think? Is this rape or is this just an example of someone being brainwashed by woke culture?
What Girls & Guys Said
24 31Kinda yeah. Rape is sex under duress, threats, violence or blackmail. I think this qualifies as duress and I would consider it to be such, but I'm not a lawyer.
You have the option to walk away and nothing sexual ever happens. Suppose a girl says, "Okay, I'll go out with you but only if you take me to an expensive restaurant." If you accept her condition, are you guilty of theft? The law says this is not a rape or sexual assault.
I know it's more if she goes through with it. That's when I consider his actions to be rape. As I said, I'm not a lawyer and I'm not bound by their legal definitions.
Is it rape? No. He’s giving her an ultimatum. She’s free to say no. I’m happy to debate this point though.
Let's debate It's not rape... The guy is asking for consent.. She can decline it.. As a result relationship will end.. Which will be both of theirs loss.. However because of so many legal issue... Men value relationships lesser day by day.. And women crave that attachment and comfort... So the girl will suffer major loss.. But if she cannot agree with his terms than she shouldn't be dating him... However if the Guy has such terms he need to make them clear before the first date or on the first date.. So she doesn't wastes her time with him.. And isn't invested in him.. If he tells this on Second date or end of second date.. Than it's a shitty asshole thing to do... Because than she is invested in her and has given him time...
@Nik1hil it’s her right not to have sex on the third date if she doesn’t want to
It's her right to not have sex.. And it's his right to walk out of relationship.. Problem with our generation is that we don't understand that relationships are about sacrifice... Guys are rushing to bone many girls.. And girls are trying to pin down the most eligible man.. Even if it's married.. The "Mate Poaching"..
No, that is not rape or sexual assault
No that’s not rape but it’s dumb, the whole comparison is dumb. Any individual, regardless if it’s a man or a woman could have an “age limit” to when they want to get married. So if their significant other doesn’t want the same thing as them then I don’t see why they have to stay with that person. Drawing a comparison between that and an ultimatum about sex is simply uncalled for.
In your opinion it's uncalled for, the reality of the matter is its basically the same thing, using an ultimatum to manipulate someone into doing something they might not want to do yet. So I would say its accurate and very much correct.. The fact that you don't like it, is irrelevant.
I agree with you 100%.
“What do you think of women leaving men if they don’t marry within a certain time frame” If a woman’s goal is to get married in a relationship, and the man doesn’t want marriage, what is she supposed to do exactly? I think it’s completely fair for her to leave and find someone who shares the same life goals as her, one of them being marriage. If that is bothersome then that is a personal problem, but comparing that to something as immature as “we have to have sex after the third date or I’m leaving” is dumb
@JenniferStar thank you
And yet a man would be fully justified leaving her if she chooses not to have sex in a certain amount of time. It's the same concept, the fact that you refuse to see it is in you.. In my own situation, i refused to use ultimatums, and if I was with someone that used that kind of thing with me, I ended the relationship immediately.. Because it shows a lack of maturity and a propensity to be controlling.. Neither of which I respect or want in my life.
sure he could but that one ultimatum is immature and dumb. that is my point. there are so many other things that could be comparable to the marriage thing, but sex after the third date… childish as fuck.
As is demanding marriage in a certain time frame.
agree to disagree
Cupcake, the only comparison I made was that they are both stupid ultimatums.
My first answer is no, but I remember that if someone coerced another one into doing sex, it's still rape.
In this case, I do not think it's coercion, but some judges may find it so.
Coercion:
"the practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats."
Remember, threats does not necessarily mean a knife to the throat or gun to the head. It can be words that affect the other person mentally.
With that, the closest being for me is C.
doesn't the guy have the right to say "I'm looking for sex and if you're not gonna put out, I'm gonna find somebody else"?
No its like any other ultimatum, if you don't like it you can leave. Women don't seem to get that they have as much right to a relationship as a guy has to sex. In other words none.
Ew as soon as the guy says anything about sex, boom, I’ll break up with him ASAP! At least for me, I have to feel completely safe around him which can take months or even a year.
You shouldn’t be dating
I don’t even care, in fact men don’t even get my attention sexually.
She's a fukkin lunatic. No big surprise, there seems to be a plethora of them around these days, and they're just sure they're some kind of victim somehow. It's like it's hardwired in. The victim claiming is real.
For the younger set, they have to take a lot of time to date and get to know before they're ready to strip down and do the deed. They're wishy-washy, lack passion, are afraid, or socially inept. Let them experience life at their own pace. Sometimes they get to it, sometimes they don't. Many are happy in the friendzone.
For more mature adults, that actually KNOW how to fuck, if you're really into them what exactly are you waiting for? Something more to happen? Uh, no. If a woman isn't into sex, doesn't get the hots for you, and doesn't want to jump your bones, she's a dud. You move on. Four dates is actually pretty generous. What exactly is she waiting for?
He's not threatening to rape her, so no.
I think in a lot of situations it might not really be straight up "rape", but it is definitely bad. Then again, if the guy just doesn't have the same expectations and want's to make that clear, that's fair enough. But he definitely has to word it better than that.
It's a foolish ultimatum, and not any sort of logical basis for a decent relationship.
It's not rape, it doesn't make any sense.
Its neither rape or sexual assault, Anyone that believes it is, well we should question their intelligence.
For the women complaining about the comparison.. Women never catch flack for using that ultimatum, but guys are regarded as sexist pigs for using the sex ultimatum, when they are both the same thing, they are both used to manipulate the other person into doing something they might not want to do yet.. And I would wager that both carry similar consequences..
The woman have to be ready, it’s up to her.
Okay, but every reasonable person on the planet already knows that and it doesn't answer the question that was asked.
No don't go on the date the ultimatum has been made
The tone of voice can mark the difference.
For me that wouldn't be rape; just the sign for me that there would NEVER be another date.
It’s definitely not rape since they can just end it and walk away, from her perspective she thinks they are being forced into it because they want to keep the guy and feeling forced because of that reason but it’s still not rape because they still have a choice even if they don’t like the options
No I consider it bs
Obviously that's an immoral thing to do but this doesn't fit the definition of rape so no.