Has anyone else here given up on actively pursuing the opposite sex?

The way I see it, my life is ultimately in God's hands. I trust that whatever happens to me relationship-wise, as much as it pains my heart, is for the best. If I end up being a kissless, dateless virgin for the rest of my life, or until much later in life, then it's probably for the best. Perhaps I have goals and other missions in life to achieve, and a girlfriend, wife, or dating life would simply serve as some sort of obstacle. Too many moments in my life have been far too coincidental for them to JUST have happened. I feel that everything happens for a reason, and that it's part of whatever plan God has in store for me.

At least I have 2TB of porn, masturbation, and Romance Novels to read.
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I filed this under "Relationships," but it automatically filed it to "Sexuality." I DON'T have sky-high standards either, by the way.
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  • Yep. I literally spent my entire twenties searching for love. Came close a couple times. One of them passed away and the other wanted to change me too much and I wasn't comfortable with that. The fact I wasted basically ten years on chasing women, most of whom rejected me for being too short (I'm only 181 cm), being dark-skinned ("black," if you'd prefer), and not being arrogant/egotistical (for no reason) proves to me that modern women aren't worth the time or attention.

    I've 99% given up on pursuing women anymore. I'm never going to grow to be any taller than I am, and if no woman I'd want out there is fine with me being "girl height" or not looking like Chris Hemsworth, then so be it. I mean, I take it as a valuable lesson. You should never put your happiness or potential happiness in the hands of another person. Nor should you "plan on being happy."

    While this world SUCKS and most people, female or male, SUCK, the old cliché saying really is true: You are the only one who can make yourself happy. I, personally, am unsure if I can ever be happy, though. I want to be comfortable in my own skin, and with this horribly shit body, I am unsure if I ever can be. I'd want to not be a little manlet regardless of what women thought of me, and my outer exterior literally does not match my inner personality whatsoever. Other than my gender, I'd re-do my entire body if I had a video game character creator menu. But alas, it is not meant to be.

    I do think I have a good personality, and I do try my best to help people every day, despite being a bit of a misanthrope given today's world. I say positively that I do think I am great boyfriend material, even if others disagree. Personality wise, I am mostly fine with myself and the only flaw I think I have there is the lack of ego ("confidence"), that women have implied, not that I actually want to be arrogant or full of myself, like women imply wanting. I am still flawed and a work-in-progress, though. I know people want perfection, but I will never be perfect, or what modern women deem physically attractive, tall, etc.

    My ideal woman is someone with a heart of platinum, who is intelligent, has a strong sense of humor, and lots of femininity and class to her. And besides that one woman I mentioned who died, I haven't really found anyone like that. Women today want men who are the opposite of me: Tall, white, extremely fit, "10 out of 10" handsome, well hung, and ego brimming out the ass. I am none of those things; the opposite in every category, in fact.

    So no, I am not pursing women anymore. Instead, my new goal is to work on myself and try more methods to get in shape, despite having no success with previous ones in the past. A loving relationship with a gorgeous, kind woman who loves me is a great fantasy. But we don't live in that reality. Love is not going to be in my future. But I think I can live with that.

    NO REPLIES, PLEASE. I don't want people giving me sh*t over things I've already moved past.

    Has anyone else here given up on actively pursuing the opposite sex?
  • Yes and no. I'm open to it but for some reason women flake all the time (I had a woman ask me out and then flake, still have no idea how that even works). They confuse me because of their inconsistencies and again, flakyness, and I have realized that due to my mothers sociopathic emotional manipulations and blackmailing and just general bullshit, I have an extreme intolerance to games. The second I feel a woman is playing a game with me or trying to manipulate me I immediatley cut them out of my life. I have been told I'm too trigger happy with this and I can honestly say that is probably correct. So I have given up but I'm trying to be more active and more tolerant because I don't believe life will give you what you want (to many people get screwed over for that to be the case) and I don't believe in destiny so if I want to have a relationship I have to go out and find it (just like how if I want to eat I have to go find food, if I want money I have to work for it etc.).

    I think the approach should be not to give up, just don't let it consume you, live your life, you see a girl and you seem to get along with her shoot your shot and if it falls flat laugh and move on. I think that is probably the best approach.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's okay man. You are not alone. And it's not your fault. We live in a toxic hook up culture that has lost a lot of virtue when it comes to dating. I'm in the same boat. You might find someone someday, but it requires patience and calmness. Focus on other things and life and ignore relationships for now. We need our Physics hero protecting America anyway!

  • I did give up on relationships couldnt find what I wanted was disappointed in my choices that wanted to date me so I actually thought I was better off single the rest of my life.. I even stopped masturbating.. so id never feel the need for a man well 6 months later I found what I was looking for when I got an urgency to masturbate id pray for my husband the Bible says to seek first his kingdom and he will give us the desires of our heart.. Never met a better man than him in my life! Im so blessed now if my body could react the way God wants it to id be set

  • I mean the persuit of relationships for the sake of relationships with anyone just seems a little odd..

  • Ideally I wish I met my current partner 10 years earlier but sadly can't do anything about it

  • I don't like to do the pursuing myself but I have certainly not given up on finding love.

    If I meet the right person then I'm going to be set for life romantically and sexually :)

    I don't *need* romance but it would certainly make my time alive more pleasant & fulfilling. I have a lot of love to give!

  • No man it comes with pros and cons. For example I come from a Catholic conservative family and my dating life has destroyed family relationships because dating is taboo in the Christian community. It has helped me develop better relationships with peers and coworkers my age on the other hand. I’m sure if I was a virgin, and goody two shoes, I would still be in touch with my teachers from high school and college and also my family.