Have you ever been raped?

[LovingJo]

Now, I'm not asking this question lightly.. But it's been on my mind for a few days now.

Firstly, if you haven't, please do NOT just reply with "no/I haven't" - it's pointless and unnecessary. This question is for people who have.

Have you got over the event?
Did you know the person/people?
How old were you?
How many times did it happen?
Have you struggled with your mental health since the event or does it not affect you like it used to?
Has it made you stronger in any way?
What would you change, looking back?
Did/Do you ever blame yourself?
Did you tell anyone at the time? I. E parents, friends, police etc?
Did you report it to the police? Did they do anything?
Were they arrested/charged?
Do you ever think about it now?
Do you have sexual fantasies that somehow relate to that, that surprise you?
Why do YOU think it happened to you?

Anything that you want to say is fine, and will not be judged.
If you want to hear my stories, please ask.
If you feel safer/easier anonymising yourself then please do so. 🤗🥰

[Aerissa_Jade]

Kind of wish you had done a poll for this, yes or no. I have more than once. I will answer for the 1st time, in which he tried to kill me too to prevent me from going to the police.

Have you got over the event? -- There is no way to get over it or be healed. Those that say you can have never been raped. It becomes part of your life forever.

Did you know the person? - I vaguely knew he was but didn't even know his name.

How old were you? I was 14

How many times did it happen? - It happened several times with him

Have you struggled with your mental health since the event or does it not affect you like it used to? -- Very much so, have tried to end my life several times as a result and have PTSD and anxiety issues as a result.

Has it made you stronger in any way? -- It is harder to hurt me when the worst thing can happened already has happened, anything else is easy to handle.

What would you change, looking back? -- Nothing because I was too weak, vulnerable and barely survived. I suppose I could of got revenge and killed him when I was stronger and because I was under age, would of been handled by the juvenile system or could of been blamed on the attack as a mental illness.

Did/Do you ever blame yourself? - No I did not

Did you tell anyone at the time? I did not need to, as it was obvious when I was taken to the ER to save my life what had happened.

Did you report it to the police? Did they do anything? - He was arrested, charged, convicted and got 4 and a half years.

Do you ever think about it now? - I try not to but it happens.

Do you have sexual fantasies that somehow relate to that, that surprise you? - Not that I am aware of

Why do YOU think it happened to you? - He targeted me, probably had been for awhile and found the right time. He was a serial rapist targeting several girls to coerce into being his sex slaves. He had raped a dozen girls and most of them submitted to him.

This is actually why I joined GAG in the first place, look in my profile for a link to the mytake I wrote on it. I joined to share my story on what happened.

My life has been destroyed as a result of it, I am still dealing with the physical health effects of the attack which will ultimately end with my death from it.

[Agape93]

Don't forget, I'm here to talk or listen

[Aerissa_Jade]

@Agape93 ❤

[Anonymous]

As much as I hate to admit it, yes.. I have

It was when I was still in high school, my senior year after I had the worst break up with my boyfriend of 3 years on and off.. this guy came up to me in the library, told him my situation, we chit chatted, thought he understood, asked me if I wanted to hang out after school one day, I was emotionally messed up still, but agreed, and that's when he did it, even when I expressed that I did not want that and cried.. it wasn't the vagina, thankfully.. it was the other one.. still bad, but I guess my virginity wasn't stolen at least.

Have you got over the event?I think I'm slowly recovering by the year since 2019, but it does still creep on me from time to time.

Did you know the person/people? All I really knew about him was that he was a classmate in my Spanish class that year and was friends with a few people I was friends with, but I was never friends with him, so I really didn't know him that well and wasn't in the right mind set at the time, because had I been, I would have never agreed to go out with him with only knowing him for a week or less.

How old were you?I was 17 at the time, he was 18.

How many times did it happen? It happened twice. Once was when we went out for the first time. It was a normal outing. We went to the mall and shopped, got food, and I thought we were going back home. In the car, he forces himself on me out of nowhere and forces me to kiss him. Then he takes me to this run down house in the woods near his house and tells me to come in with him and forces me to sit on his lap and touches me inappropriately... then gets angry at me and makes me lick him below, but I cried before I could really do what he wanted and he stopped and took me back home. The second time was when he called me and asked if we could hang out again and that he felt bad for what had happened before. Again, I am in a bad mental state and emotionally messed up, so I tell him that "it's okay" and schedule to hang out with him the next weekend.

That morning, I really did not feel like going to meet him, but I was worried about breaking my promise and upsetting him, so I mustered the courage to call him and tell him. He comes and gets me and tells me that we're going to go bowling in the next city over, so I wasn't too worried since I thought we were going to a public place. Then I thought about it and decided maybe I didn't wanna go bowl and thought we were still gonna be in the next city over, but just going somewhere else. Well nope, he takes me back to the woods in that crummy house and yeah. That's how the "other hole" thing happened. On top of that, he also stealthed me, meaning he took the condom off and did it inside. So on top of forcing me to do this act, you humiliate me even more.. anyways, when he's done, back in the car he goes, drops me off, no words are said, and I come home, acting like everything is fine, only to go in my room and cry.

The first person I told was a friend I had who I couldn't see physically, but we had talked for years. He told me to tell my parents and the police. He supported me during all that.. and eventually, I did tell my parents, and it caused a huge uproar.. surprisingly my father called him and cussed him out on his job, mom was about to call the cops, and I could have went with it, but I don't know what possessed me to just lie. I lied and told them that it wasn't a big deal and that I was overreacting. That was far from the truth.

It WAS a big deal, I was feeling horrible, wanting to rip myself apart inside, and though the chances were slim, I was actually stressed out about potentially being pregnant. My parents stopped when I said that and kind of laughed it off. The only one who knew was that friend I told. When I went to school the next day, there was tension, I could see the hatred in his eyes knowing that what he had done got out. The rest of my first semester of senior year proceeded to be stressful and full of shit, really.

He twisted the story and told everyone that I was a whore and that I wanted it. I lost friends or people I thought were my friends. People stopped talking to me. I told my genuine friends at the time and they told me to tell the cops. I still for some reason didn't.. like I wanted to keep his ass safe and not ruin his life... but why? It annoyed me how I thought at the time versus now. The only people who really know the truth are my friends from that time and the one I couldn't physically see at the time.

Have you struggled with your mental health since the event or does it not affect you like it used to?Yes, I have struggled a lot with my mental health, especially with how I see myself physically and my value as a person. Depression, anxiety, trust issues. I was in a terrible relationship before all this happened with an abusive boyfriend, but this was the icing on the cake for me. I never had intercourse or anything with my abusive boyfriend who also happened to be the first one.

Has it made you stronger in any way?It's made me think very carefully about the choices I make, who I decide to hang around, and be very vocal with my opinion on things. Being around the wrong people is how situations like this can happen.

What would you change, looking back?I would change that Saturday morning. Had I never worried about keeping a flimsy promise with a person who had violated me previously and fed into the lies, I would be fine. Or when he came to my table in the library, I should have unapologetically ignored him until he went away. Not entertain him with pointless banter.

Did/Do you ever blame yourself?I used to blame myself, but not anymore. He had no right to bother me or ask me to go out with him, knowing full well that I was emotionally messed up and not in my right mind.

Did you tell anyone at the time? I. E parents, friends, police etc?As stated in a previous answer, I did tell my parents, but ended up lying and saying it was not a big deal, so they are not sure what really happened on that day. I told my friends at school and they supported me until graduation. And I told my friend who I could not physically see then who is now my second and current boyfriend. He has supported me for years since I was 14, so hearing that this happened was heartbreaking for him. Without him, I can't even imagine where I would be emotionally and mentally.

Did you report it to the police? Did they do anything?
No, but I really wish I did...

Were they arrested/charged?No, they got away. He'll probably do it again and if he does, I hope the next victim takes more action than I did.

Do you ever think about it now?I do think about it, but it's just a fleeting thought.

Do you have sexual fantasies that somehow relate to that, that surprise you?
No, I don't fantasize about it. I'm actually afraid to have sex and actively avoid it. Even if it wasn't where people normally get penetrated, it still scares me.

Why do YOU think it happened to you?He was either in cahoots with my ex boyfriend and it was revenge, he was really that much of a shitty individual, or he thought it was a good idea to take advantage of a depressed girl in a weak state of mind.

[ShiftingMonke]

I have, and I'll share.

(If no one has yet offered, I'm more than willing to hear what happened to you, either here or DM, whichever you prefer)

Have you got over the event? Yes, as much as someone can, I suppose. I make jokes about it, because that's how I release stress in a given situation- I find the funny.

Did you know the person/people? Yes and no.. my attacker was the son of my babysitter. He was maybe 17-20, old enough to have a scruff of a mustache and definitely old enough to know better.

How old were you? I was maybe 5 or so; my brother, also victimized, would've been nearly 3 ish.

How many times did it happen? More than once, likely; I do not remember every event, for good reason I presume. Multiple times a week, for the duration of summer.

Have you struggled with your mental health since the event or does it not affect you like it used to? To the best of my knowledge, it's not negatively affected my mental health in a demonstrable way. Perhaps it changed the way I engaged with authority growing up, and deeply broke my trust in people; but no more than anyone else, I'd imagine.

Has it made you stronger in any way? I believe it forced me to rationalize my place in the world as I grew older, and learned to laugh at terrible things instead of getting depressed over them; I now see the world as a dark comedy and that's how I cope with the inherent evils of Man.

What would you change, looking back? I would've brought a knife, and cut him somewhere that would make it harder for him to reoffend; also make it harder for him to evade punishment.

Did/Do you ever blame yourself? I did then and I do now; I can accept my place in it, but I allowed my younger brother to be raped as well. I don't know if he remembers it and I don't wanna bring it up. But sometimes I look at him and wonder if there's something back in his head that he can't figure out but hurts him at night sometimes. As his older brother, it was my job to look out for him, and I failed in that.

Did you tell anyone at the time? I. E parents, friends, police etc? I told my parents, yes. They were disappointed. But the babysitters spouse was my father's boss, and had anything been reported, he would've lost his job; there wasn't financial opportunities in the area like there is now. So they just buried it. I don't blame them though.

Did you report it to the police? Did they do anything? The town was so small, there was no police- just one part time sheriff. He wouldn't be able to do much just because he was inept. Also, see previous.

Were they arrested/charged? He was not. Aside from any guilt he may feel, he got off scott free. To the best of my knowledge, he's doing just fine.

Do you ever think about it now? Not really. My wife was also molested, and while that was a bonding moment in our dating period (as messed up as that sounds) we don't bring it up unless it's an inside joke between us. Once we confessed it to our married friends one drunken bonfire night, and the wife bawled her eyes out and we had to console her over it; it's just a thing that happened. I'm sure it happened to a lot of people, unfortunately. But I am not going to live in the shadow of such an act.

Do you have sexual fantasies that somehow relate to that, that surprise you? Not really. It has affected my sex life; I didn't feel comfortable having anal sex with any of my partners, and it wasn't until my wife that have I been coaxed into trying it, with an unattractive amount of trust and communication. I didn't even want to have sex when I was younger, thinking it hurt. I also am not at all a fan of being restrained under any circumstance.. I had to have a spinal tap at 8 or 9, and my mother had to leave the hospital building because they had to restrain me and it took 5 men to hold me still enough and I was fighting and screaming the whole time.

Why do YOU think it happened to you? Why did it happen? Because we were young. We were impressionable. I would normally joke that I must've had a great ass when I was younger. But it happened because for one reason or another, he decided to be a predator and we were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Any more wondering than that is a waste of time, because it's been done for almost 3 decades now and I've got my own kids to keep safe. I'll 'reply' with details you didn't specifically ask for.

[ShiftingMonke]

What happened was the Son would take my brother and I down the hill from their trailer into the bottoms, a lower area between two hills with a creek and reeds at the bottom. He would play 'truth or dare with us, and things got sexual. First exposing ourselves to him, then rubbing our genitals on things, then he began to interact with us. I remember it hurting, and wanting to cry but knowing boys aren't supposed to cry. I felt ashamed because I didn't feel like it was right. My brother wasn't old enough to know that boys aren't supposed to cry, and I tried to comfort him during and after. I don't fully remember everything, because there's a 'blocking my brain that won't let me into that room of memory; that door is locked for reasons I trust. When I smoked weed, sometimes that door would open a bit, and that's when I fully realized what happened. I had memories that were blurry but I knew enough to know something happened, but the weed let me relive it in detail. I no longer smoke weed. I live in the same town still, and so does he. I see him on occasion. I'm now 6'5" and he's pushing 5'7" or so and sickly thin. I could probably choke him with one hand and not bat an eye, I know there's not anyone in town big enough to break my grip and he will be long dead before any police arrive. But I haven't, and I won't. Not because he's redeemed himself, but because his death would be no different than squashing a tick beneath a fingernail, it would bring me no joy, just a hollow sense of setting the scales right. But I would deny my children their father for some years, and that's not worth it. I've just accepted that this happened, and it will impact my life exactly as much as I allow it too. Thank you for giving me a chance to say this. I've never typed it before and I am kind of in my feels now thinking of it. I should get back to work.

[Lliam]

I haven't. But the most wonderful and amazing girlfriend I ever had was sexually abused by her step father from a very young age until she reached puberty - for almost 10 years. I can't imagine. It totally fucked with her head.

She became an alcoholic, wound up marrying some guy and having a son when she was 17.

She got divorced a couple years later and moved away. The father got custody but she spoke to her son and they visited regularly.

I met her when she was 30 and we lived together for over a year. By then she had been in counseling for years and had beaten alcoholism. She got a good career and was self reliant.

She was hypersexual and orgasmic. I think her hypersexuality was a result of her childhood. But she was really smart and had great ethics and values.

She didn't like talking about her problems and didn't share much with me. It was too traumatic and, I think, she was ashamed.

We wound up separating for reasons that are complicated but had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. I think one problem, though, was her inability to completely trust men.

She was a good girl but never felt "normal".

[Bricealan]

No, but I keep hoping and praying for some woman to throw me down and sit on my face. Never gonna happen though.

Kidding. Rape is a TERRIBLE CRIME and I do not intend to minimize the impact of it on a woman. Rapists should be executed

[Agape93]

Unfortunately.


Have you got over the event?
Nope. I live with the memory of it every day. I'm always in pain from it. It's why I am the way I am, why I hate so much and part of why I want to check out.


Did you know the person/people?
Yeap. He was my boyfriend at the time


How old were you?
20


How many times did it happen?
No idea, I was knocked out.


Have you struggled with your mental health since the event or does it not affect you like it used to?
That's a goddamn understatement


Has it made you stronger in any way?
Yeap I'm self reliant and hyper vigilant now. But it has major drawbacks in life.


What would you change, looking back?
I'd have either not dated him, or I'd have gotten my best friend involved when things got bad. It would have been handled.


Did/Do you ever blame yourself?
Nope, others have, but not me. I just hate myself because of how i feel as a result


Did you tell anyone at the time? I. E parents, friends, police etc?
First call was my best friend, he got me to the hospital. Then the police, then my family.


Did you report it to the police? Did they do anything?
I did, but didn't press charges. Fear and panic is a bitch.


Were they arrested/charged?
Nope. All I managed was a no contact order, that he's since violated and cops haven't done shit.


Do you ever think about it now?
I can't not think of it. God knows I'd like to forget.


Do you have sexual fantasies that somehow relate to that, that surprise you?
To that? No. I do CNC, but that's only with one person, and it's primarily a sort of therapy for me. It's why I can be intimate without freaking out.


Why do YOU think it happened to you?
Because some people are just evil, and need to die.


I'll listen to your story, you can dm me for privacy lovely

[JosyJosy]

Groped yes, raped no.

[FunkyMonkee]

I supposed it'd be more likely listed as molestation. In two forms.

1. I went next door to return an album I borrowed and he took me up into his room, made me strip, get on his bed and play with his dick while he played with mine. I was about 14 and he was at least twice my age. Decades later, I found out that he also got my little brother (12 or 13) and little sister (10 or 11)!!

2. I have no idea who this was but it's possible it was the same guy. It was around the same point in time.
I'm sound asleep on the porch swing, as I was every night during the summer (my room was up on the 3rd floor and it was too hot to sleep up there). About 3:00, I feel something bump one of the two chains near my head and I start to wake up to see who or what it was. By the time I could focus, there was a rather large guy above me beating off!! By the time I was completely awake, he blew his load on the wall behind the swing, jumped over the railing and took off towards the back of the house! I can only guess that, had I not awakened, he would've cum on my head, face or even on my mouth!!

[Mansearching]

No i haven't.

I'm sorry if it has ever happened to you. It should have never happened.

[Jennz6]

Yes I have. I was 14 years old and for a time afterwards raped again until I got to the point “Just let it happen”…I’m over it now, that was how I was trained growing up and was forced into being a sex worker. That was 20 years ago and I escaped but I’m comfortable now being a Topless Dancer 💃/Stripper and talking about it openly.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'm so sorry you went through that but I'm soooooo proud of you. Cause you didn't let it beat you. You took your life back

[Jennz6]

@Bklynbadboy12 now I am making money for myself and not a Cartel

[LovingJo]

@bklynbadboy12 💯

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Jennz6 I'm proud of you

[Jennz6]

@Bklynbadboy12 thank you 💃💯

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Jennz6 No I want to thank you. Your story is inspirational

[Mansearching]

Tbh... that's the typical time line of someone that's been a victim of being trafficked. Its the truth. Now if you became a successful banker, doctor, world wide business owner, and etc... That would be amazing way to come out of being a victim. Just being honest Jenn

[Bklynbadboy12]

Damn bro most people don't do that he'll you probably didn't do that 🤣🤣🤣

[Mansearching]

@Bklynbadboy12 Never said I did. She knows im being honest. I will not hold back with friends. To much respect for them not to be honest.

[LovingJo]

He's right. Jen will know he's right too.

[Mansearching]

@lovingjo Thanks

[Bklynbadboy12]

@LovingJo I just think you should have realistic goals you can't expect something for someone that uou haven't achieved yourself. Most people that go through things like that end up broken or worse it's a big accomplishment that she's a productive member of society

[Mansearching]

@Bklynbadboy12 Why can't those be realistic? It doesn't matter what background anyone has or what happened to them. They have to be better than what they left. You do know that many successful female dr's and lawyers stripped while going to school? If you didn't you're very closed minded. She could've been anything she wanted to be. But she settled.

[Terka99]

Yes, suddenly, worst xp of my life

[bananathunder]

I have had sex when I didn't want to, but I think it is really different for guys and girls. I still got hard but my body couldn't control itself, I guess.

[msc545]

I've never had this happen to me. However, I have talked to a lot of people who have.

[tallblondejohm]

Willingly

[LovingJo]

What?

[Nuthouse]

I did but I didn’t turn it in

[Nuthouse]

Might be why I have so many issues

[Anonymous]

You should also ask, “What is your definition of rape” because the definition of rape has been skewed to include “feeling obligated, regret, drunken mistakes, etc”

[Anonymous]

Yes it was someone I thought was a friend. Him & 4 of his buddies held me down & took turns. It was over 30 years ago & I still cross the street if I think I see him coming. I doubt if I will ever forget what happened.

[Anonymous]

No i haven't but i have spoken to women who have and then started fantasizing about it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, at knife point, and I still have the physical and mental scars.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, I can't answer all your questions. It is just too painful to relive it.

[Anonymous]

The odds are pretty good that I have and in response I have had dissociative amnesia.

[Anonymous]

I was sexually assaulted when I was 20 by two girls at a party. I was drunk and passed out on a couch in the basement. I woke up to find my pants partially removed with one girl playing with my privates and another taking pictures. It was embarrassing and still haunts me because I know there may still be pictures out in the wild.

[Anonymous]

I haven't my sister has multiple times though. She's one of the strongest people I know, and she probably doesn't deal with it in that good of a way. She survives, and has a job which is far more than most people who have been raped several times by multiple people can say.