Have you ever heard of the heterosexual double blind?

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+1 y
*double bind
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Superb Opinion

  • I left my house when I was 16 years old I did meet my real dad until I was 18 and that was only for probably about a half hour and then again when I was 27 so basically from 5 years old to 27 I always wondered who I was. And from 5 to 18 I would always see a guy that look like me some how and wonder if that was my dad but anyway from 16 to this day I have had to raise myself and learn on my own my step dad used to beat me with a belt if I did something wrong. Did my second step dad thought he was going to do the same thing but that wasn't going to happen so I moved out. And with all my friends I've always been considered with a badass Type image of a person. And I also learned that guy's don't even know what love is because you never see it in their families with their parents so long time ago I realized that making love to a woman is my way of showing how much I love you and to say thank you for everything that we have been through or I have been through together so insane that I got to learn what a woman needs to it's funny because my guy friends all see me is this badass guy but every girls that I know. sees me as this calm gentle man who understands them
    And their emotions and how they're feeling or what they're feeling I call it energy I call it a vibe I call it truth but with that girl is saying is 100% the truth and that's why I laughed when my guy friends start telling the story about me and the things that I've been through with them and I can be seen is that person but the truth is is it on both people did equals one person and that's me I have taken the time to find myself and understand me because I didn't know who I was but I found out who I didn't want to be

Most Helpful Guy

  • Mostly okay, but all the toxic masculinity stuff I’d flatly wrong and dumb. The actual source of what they’re talking about is not the fake “toxic masculinity” stuff, it comes from women.


    I had no such experience as she describes growing up, it’s a feminist myth that needs to be slapped down every time it’s brought up. Now that it’s done, we can talk about what actually happens. So I had no such experience growing up, but I agree about there being a risk associated with emotional openness for men. This comes from women. I learned it not growing up, but from my interactions with women in my twenties. It’s risky because women don’t like that shit, there’s a bit of nuance but it’s not reliable enough to be open. Women’s tolerance of it varies between women and even within women depending on her mood. You can’t gamble on that. So yes, it’s risky.


    And the detachment she describes is again not the result of something in men. It’s not that he lacks emotional expression, but rather that her expectations of what he should be expressing and how he should act are warped. That’s far more common than any abusive upbringing.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is the first I heard it this way but I 100% agree! I neeeed emotional connection and validation to enjoy sex with my husband. And for many years of our marriage and even now sometimes we have less sex than he would want.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This is true unless one chooses to argue that it's a generalization. It's true that not all women are the same and not all men are the same. Nevertheless, what she said is generally true for the majority of men and women to some extent. And to argue otherwise simply reveals defensiveness.

    Because of the way boys are raised, men usually have to figure out on their own what women need. Some men never do. But some women never figure out what men need, either.

  • She’s got nice boobs

    • So that's why you didn't know what colour her hair was.

    • @Rachelspiks what colour was it?

    • Dark brown, with a bit of grey on top.

    • Show All
  • Interesting, although I'm not sure the same women who initially found us emotionally repressed types to be very attractive would fall for the super emotional version of us.

  • I guess that's one way to expose oneself as ignorant in terms of evolutionary psychology and human behavior.

    I miss the times when feminists were campaigning for women's rights instead of coming up with this nonsense.

    • You disagree?

    • I don't disagree with the effect, I do think the interpretation of the cause is unscientific feminist nonsense.

    • Make a lot of sense to me

  • I like her hair.

    • @rachelspiks oh her hair.. What colour was it?

    • @ChrisMaster69 I don't agree with the way she put this, because it was an extreme oversimplification of the way men and women on average tend to be.

    • @rachelspiks yep agreed. As some women are more like guys and some guys more like women That emotional thing various a shit load

  • Nope, all of what she said was not part of my world... and still isn't today

    all of what she said sounds more like the cliches I see in movies

  • She's a moron.

  • Welp at least I know I'm a good lover then. All's I can say is that my family's culture has us very intuned with our emotions and romantic feelings. I need both sides of that relationship in equal measure. Some guys call me a bitch for this. Whatever, I'm true to myself. I'm a human being and I make no apologies for it

    • Yet you had to justify it to us

    • @Pillarofhell i like to show i actually watched the video before post! Shows I invested! ^^

    • The double bind is she doesn't enjoy sex at all and feels like he didn't pay her attention. Women dont need emotional connection, total lie

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  • Never heard of it, but video makes a lot of sence

  • Women want a relationship and acceptance first, and the sex comes later.
    Men want the sex first, and the relationship and acceptance come later.
    Simple. The rest is just details and number-crunching! :- )

  • Are women responsible for anything?
    Are not mothers also contributing to male emotional suppression and have contributed to it throughout all time?

    Here you go... people don't understand what LOVE is.
    THAT is the core of this issue.
    If you truly LOVE someone (mutual) then you'll find a productive constructive wholesome positive way forward.
    Too many people are getting in relationships and not understanding what love is.
    They don't love their partner, they love themselves and they WANT their partner.

    And umm... how much of an emotional connection does a girl need to make to get fucked in the club restroom or in the alley?
    BS...
    If a girl wants to fuck then she should just admit it. No shame... just do it.
    What a fkn ditz.
    Sure, guys are pigs... but they're fucking someone (girl).
    This is getting old and somehow it's still a man's fault.

    This is for ignorant selfish couples in therapy.
    Amateurish.

  • No , can u enlighten me?

  • It's an attempt to explain why men don't want or need "more" emotional connection, like women do. It's the idea that men are "socialized" into being emotionally repressed but encouraged to use sex as a connection or means of expression.

    The irony here is this - how often do WOMEN express that they want a "strong man" and define that as a man who is not overly emotional? While it's true that some men see emotional intimacy as threatening or a weakness, "most men" don't NEED the kind of intimacy that a woman requires in order to experience "love".

    The woman in the video says " ... a lot of men NEED sex in order to feel emotional intimacy... " Well guess what... that's a woman's explanation of why men need sex, and it's based on a female viewpoint, in my opinion. I've personally never heard a man say " I need sex to feel emotionally connected to my woman". It's something else entirely.

  • Good video 👍

  • I call BS. Maybe it was like that once but today men share and if anything relationships are less likley to work today.

  • Not really, no

  • I prefer my women to have had more sex partners

  • Never heard of it until just now but that makes a lot of sense

  • I already knew that, In the old days Women didn't like Men because they weren't Emotional enough and these days Women don't like Men because we are too Emotional, So all us Guys have ever wanted is for Women to Desire us.

  • I have not. Maybe in the 80s this applied. The world is different these days.

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